How to stay confident

[AndreLarson]

Hi guys, after suffering from this, i must admit that my self-confidence is much lower. Do you have any ideas to overcome it and gain confidence back again? Any advice will surely be appreciated!

[42CSurprise!]

It is important to remember that gynecomastia is not something we've chosen.  Whether we're dealing with a condition exacerbated by medicines we're taking or a hormonal stew we've lived with our whole lives, it is our response that matters most.  Since most of us have ideas of what it means to be a man, we're most likely unhappy being in this situation.  There can be confusion, embarrassment, even shame about how we look.  It is good to inform ourselves about the condition and this is a fine place to do that.  To come to self-confidence we need to release shame.  That won't necessarily liberate us from the judgment of others, though many of us have come to understand the condition of our chest isn't a concern for most of the people we encounter in life, unless, of course, we're intent on flaunting our endowment.  What matters most is what is between our ears.  Can we accept the condition of our lives?  Some will choose to have surgery in an attempt to look "normal."  Many of us have concluded that the expense and the uncertainty of outcome is not something we want to accept... it is better to accept our bodies as they are and then to care for ourselves as best we can.  You are definitely not alone with any of this.  Spending time with men dealing with a hormonal stew that includes higher levels of estrogen is a relief.  Welcome to the club no one wanted to join but is happy to find.

[Orb]

Well said 42C 

Thanks for taking the time to convey the thoughts and sentiments of us all so well.

Acceptance starts and ends with our selves.  The rest just flows.

[tryingtoaccept]

Acceptance is hard and I am battling that monster myself.  Due to this group and their encouragement I am getting closer to that goal.  I am 48 years old and have been the same A/small B cup since my late teens.  I am nervous that someday they will start growing again.  If they do I am sure my self-consciousness issues will return but I know the guys here will continue to encourage each other to get past the anxiety.  Hang in there and we will all help each other overcome the stress and anxiety as a community of life minded guys.

[OnlyGodKnowsWhy]

The way I see it and have treated it, I've been me all the way up until I discovered that I had gyno. I started wearing a bra and loved being supported. I wear a C-D cup btw. Thats when u became self conscious. It took me about 6 months of being scared to notice the only one aware was myself. Everyone I had grown with never noticed any change. The biggest impact is with ones self. Most all of the people around us never notice the change and growth 

[gotgyne]

Acceptance is hard and I am battling that monster myself.  Due to this group and their encouragement I am getting closer to that goal.  I am 48 years old and have been the same A/small B cup since my late teens.  I am nervous that someday they will start growing again.  If they do I am sure my self-consciousness issues will return but I know the guys here will continue to encourage each other to get past the anxiety.  Hang in there and we will all help each other overcome the stress and anxiety as a community of life minded guys.

With an A/small B cup you should not be embarrassed. I have a B to C cup depending on the bra and even go swimming topless. I never got any negative reactions.

[Rich meier]

Acceptance is hard and I am battling that monster myself.  Due to this group and their encouragement I am getting closer to that goal.  I am 48 years old and have been the same A/small B cup since my late teens.  I am nervous that someday they will start growing again.  If they do I am sure my self-consciousness issues will return but I know the guys here will continue to encourage each other to get past the anxiety.  Hang in there and we will all help each other overcome the stress and anxiety as a community of life minded guys.

With an A/small B cup you should not be embarrassed. I have a B to C cup depending on the bra and even go swimming topless. I never got any negative reactions.

same here I always go topless and as you said nobody said anything although I can imagine what they were thimking. One time my step daughter did tell my wife that my boobs were as big as hers and I am 46c

[Confused old man]

I stay confident because I don’t care what people think anymore. Can see my bra?..don’t care!...high beams showing through...don’t care....looking at my boobs instead of looking me in the eye?...don’t care...I’m just tired of trying to hide the fact that I have boobs. It got exhausting. So that fact is I have boobs, they stick out, yes I wear a bra for comfort. So if they don’t like it....don’t look!!!..and if they want to make a smart a** comment about it. They better be prepared to back it up!

[Busted (and happy)]

My sentiments entirely. 
Well said

[SideSet]

What did your wife say when her daughter compared her own boobs to yours? Did either of them say you anything about you wearing a bra?

[Rich meier]

only wife knows. wife did say one time that I needed a bra. then another time i was complaining about them being sore so she said gat a bra

[SideSet]

Good that your wife understands your need to wear a bra.

[blad]

Walk softly and wear a big bra.

[Dudewithboobs]

Well said 42c and KnowsWhy I’d agree. Similarly it took me months to gain the courage to go to work while wearing a bra. Sadly work is the least active place I am. But it let me see what direct contact with people may or may not see, behave, glance etc. only once did I have a co worker come by my desk and pat me on the back where mt strap was and felt she did it to confirm what she may see but again may have just been a pat on the back. She’s very open and vocal when it’s just us and I’d assume she’d a mentioned it. 
Acceptance and confidence comes with time. For me it isn’t a looking down and seeing my chest and going well this sucks but whatever. It’s a progression of acceptance and self appreciation. It’s trial and errors of what works for you. 
My best advice cause it’s what worked for me is if you are self conscious or lacking confidence with it. Challenge yourself to going places and wearing what you want to wear and just letting it be out there. You’ll notice quickly unless you’re a D cup or so more than not no one notices or glances etc. braless or in a bra. I believe self confidence is hand in hand with self awareness and when you become aware that your self isn’t being seen as you see or worry about by others you’ll develop a bit of a F it attitude and just enjoy what ya got instead of worrying 

[aboywithgirls]

My best advice cause it’s what worked for me is if you are self conscious or lacking confidence with it. Challenge yourself to going places and wearing what you want to wear and just letting it be out there. You’ll notice quickly unless you’re a D cup or so more than not no one notices or glances etc. braless or in a bra. I believe self confidence is hand in hand with self awareness and when you become aware that your self isn’t being seen as you see or worry about by others you’ll develop a bit of a F it attitude and just enjoy what ya got instead of worrying

Yes, yes, and yes!

I had to adopt the "F it" attitude early on. It was the only thing I could do. I  did attempt the camouflage method at first. I would wear loose, baggy clothing or multiple layers to try hiding my bra. Warmer months were brutal! Eventually they layers came off and most would not confront me about it. Men never would unless they were making a point to single me out as a teen which how they delt with there own insecurities. Depending on the situation, if a woman would ask, it was either out of pure curiosity or she was gathering information for gossip which would also be for her to feel better about herself so she could avoid dealing with her own issues. 

When I was approached about my bra, it was some variation of "are you wearing a bra?" or "why are you wearing a bra?". It was usually a woman so I would  reply "yes, I am, aren't you? I wear one to support my breasts. Don't you?". This is wear my "F-it" attitude was born.

I became more and more open about wearing a bra. No more layers, loose, baggy clothing. I began even wearing ladies button down blouses and slacks and jeans. 

I only have one body and since puberty has had a feminine figure. I make no excuses or apologies for being me. I have made a few "changes" that have corrected a "birth defect" but, very proud of  who I am today.

Just be you and be proud of who you are. 

Your sister, 
Sophie 🥰🤗