Setback

[Gino]

I guess I shouldn't be surprised but I am, and disappointed also.

After my breasts began to erupt and subsequent diagnosis from a mammogram, my GF of 5+ years was very understanding and supportive even going so far as to let me try on some of her too large in the cup fashionable bras, sort of like my being her Barbie doll :-) After my boobs became easily recognized as breasts (I'm not fat) under my shirt I went the sport bra route of concealment. 

To make a long story short-er I acquired a large box full of 36B bras at a thrift store which wanted to get rid of them and again the GF was supportive and even enthusiastic regarding my using them. I actually began to embrace my new situation to the point beyond the simple support aspect of a bra to liking my looks in one that enhanced their appearance. I can now see how genetic women grow fond of displaying their boobs :-). 

Then one day out of the blue I went there wearing a decidedly feminine VS bra, and after she lifted my shirt to take a look she started goofing on me asking what was next? Dresses? Panties? Heels? Makeup? Did the sexier bra styles get me excited? 

Well, all can say is these comments put a definite damper on our relationship, and the term "words cut like a knife" became all too real. 

The thing is, as they continue to grow the thoughts have once again gone to losing the GF from my life or getting a mastectomy. I guess I'll let time settle the situation and not rush into either solution.



  

  








  

[Amiga]

Definitely a delicate situation. Do you definitely know the intent of her comments? Was it meant to shame? Was she probing your intentions in an honest (if clumsy) way? Was she trying to lead you further into something that perhaps she's discovered she enjoys? It's worth having a talk with her so that she understands your thoughts and intentions and vice versa.

Sorry if this is a bit brief and disjointed -- typing on a phone.

[blad]

You should probably ask for clarity.

My wife is very supportive of me wearing a bra full time for years. But she would be questioning if I began to wear overly "sexy" bras. I guess she understands the need, but not having fun, with wearing a bra.

[usetobeed]

I think your girlfriend's questions are legit. She does not mind that you have breasts, or she would have left by now. She is concerned that your sexuality is changing away from her, and heading toward a clothing fetish. 
Ed

[Amiga]

That could be it too. We just don't know without more context. Though bear in mind a clothing fetish wouldn't necessarily involve a change in sexuality.

[notreallyhere]

I think your girlfriend's questions are legit. She does not mind that you have breasts, or she would have left by now. She is concerned that your sexuality is changing away from her, and heading toward a clothing fetish.
Ed

The question may be legitimate, but the behavior seems off. Just walking up and pulling down his shirt? None of us were there, perhaps it was playful foreplay. Or perhaps it was a sign of an internal conflict she has--essentially trying to invoke shame for what was thought as accepted. The materials beneath notwithstanding.

Five years is a long time to be in a relationship, one where you should be able to have a passive understanding about the situation. Don't let your own issues cloud the situation. But if there is an issue it may simply be that you two need to close a communication gap.

At a certain point, does it matter what the materials are if you love and trust each other?

[Amiga]

One thing, though.if you end up considering a mastectomy do it because YOU want it, not because she does. If I were in a similar situation and my wife of nearly 30 years wanted me to get one and I wasn't sure I'd push back.

[Gino]

Thanks all for your thoughtful comments. 

When I was first diagnosed even before my GF knew I thought I'd go ahead with the mastectomy and she urged me not to, so if I did go ahead it would be MY decision. 

As far as her comments go they were definitely meant as demeaning. I'll hold off a few more months before making any drastic decisions. 



   

[Busty]

Sorry your GF back pedaled on her acceptance and support. It can be a lot for a significant other to digest. How is it going with her now?

[Gino]

No additional comments other than she has noted their increasing size and my need to conceal them. 

As a side note, my neighbor's wife who regularly comes to the fence to chat about my exotic fruit tree collection noted my boobs and we had a funny conversation about the subject. She actually absentmindedly started to touch and rub her own mentioning she couldn't keep her eyes off of my chest! :-)

[Moobzie]

That was a hit-on......

[Busty]

Were you wearing a bra talking to your neighbor?