Estrogen tears

[BodyPos34B]

I believe we as men are so devout to the concept of having to hold feelings in that we often forget how emotional feels and how therapeutic it is to just cry. I don’t align it with estrogen entirely. Though certain it doesn’t help refrain from crying over little things as we express here. 

I’m adamant that men’s feelings just don’t matter. Even to those who say they do or deny when I say it. My argument is anytime I’ve expressed how I feel. It generally hurts feelings. So why would I say how I feel if it just hurts feelings by being honest and open? Share how I feel to hurt how another feels so I can just feel bad about that? I’d rather hold it in and work out or build something or write in my journal. I cry often over feelings, thoughts and things of many areas I find conflict with in recent months. 

I find most of my crying is a direct result of just not being or feeling allowed to open up and be honest or share and so it interferes with my real feelings by coming out as anger or impatience instead of openness and just relieving feelings. Which is probably why I ramble so much on some of my posts here. Just feels great to share with people I don’t need to pay 150/hr to lol. 

[42CSurprise!]

I've always been a bit tender-hearted and tears will come on occasion.  But I'm also Scandinavian and a bit cool temperamentally.  I sense that I've become more sensitive as the testosterone diminished in my life.  I'm also aware from the trauma work I've done the last five years that fear has kept me closed emotionally.  Finding a bit of compassion for myself has enabled me to have more compassion for others.

I disagree with the notion that men's feelings don't matter.  Often men withhold feelings believing it isn't okay to express how we feel.  If we've been told that boys don't cry we likely won't.  I know for myself that not expressing feelings often left me acting out passive aggressively with anger.  Or, I'd blow up at some point.  I remember putting my fist through a window, throwing a pot across the room.  Needless to say, reacting with anger is not the healthiest way to express emotions.  But it isn't easy to say "I'm afraid..." or "I need help..."  In my experience, the woman I've known have been very happy when I've been able to express what I need and now I feel.  Relationships become much more intimate when truth is spoken.  I'm at the point in my life where I have NO interest is meaningless banter.  I want to talk about real feelings, real life issues.  I sense that the presence of estrogen in my body is making all of that easier to do.

[Johndoe1]

Anyone who says men's emotions and feelings don't matter have no idea what they are talking about. Emotions is what keeps our sanity. Man or woman. 

[BodyPos34B]

I would agree. And I didn’t mean they don’t matter. That’s ridiculous. But I would largely argue due to my experience of opening up and sharing how I feel about real things that it has not been a positive experience and opening up on deep topics has brought more grief than relief. 

[p.r.1974]

As a general habit, the general public and acquaintances are not accustomed to deeper conversation from those not close to them, and mostly just make small talk. Being authentic with them has not been understood will in my experience either. They are simply not ready for it. However, being authentic with those that are close to us just seems the way to be. It is difficult in the moment to maintain civility depending on the situation. But using our words is much preferable than loosing ones cool and throwing things and slamming doors (raises hand).

[42CSurprise!]

As a general habit, the general public and acquaintances are not accustomed to deeper conversation from those not close to them, and mostly just make small talk. Being authentic with them has not been understood will in my experience either. They are simply not ready for it. However, being authentic with those that are close to us just seems the way to be. It is difficult in the moment to maintain civility depending on the situation. But using our words is much preferable than loosing ones cool and throwing things and slamming doors (raises hand).

Discernment is called for no doubt.  I don't expect everyone in my life is prepared to deal with my deepest feelings.  But to get to that point we need a bit of self-awareness.  From there we can apply discernment.  Since I welcome and appreciate honest conversations I embrace those friendships where that can happen... and minimize contact with those folks who can't go there with me.  A line used by my friends is we have a family of origin and a family of choice.  I'll be spending Thanksgiving with my family of choice.  I certainly have let go of friends who weren't able to meet me with honest emotions.  Life is too short to waste it on relationships what are hollow.  

[Justagirl💃]

OMG, I knew better than watching The Titanic again. 
It's a real tear jerker 😢

[Gino]

My dad who was a super macho guy used to say getting emotional is a natural function of aging, I believe it. 

[WPW717]

Why wouldn’t that happen?
As I see it as testosterone decreases the T vs. E ratio shifts towards E.

I am told that we geezers lose about 1-2 % per year starting in the 4 th decade, so tears happen.