Males Staying Males

[Justagirl💃]

I would like them to be big enough that if I go without a bra, people would notice that I need one.

I know exactly what you mean! But I'd like to give you an example of why letting things go that far that wouldn't be such a great idea. It's better if people don't notice!

A few months ago, I spotted a couple at the mall, probably in their late 60's/early 70's. He was wearing a t-shirt three sizes too big and was waking all hunched over in attempt to hide his significant gynecomastia. In effect, all he was doing was allowing his pendulous boobs to bang into each other with every step! He was unique in that his boobs were obviously narrow set and pendulous, but it was also obvious that he wasn't the type of person to consider containing them. If only he had worn a bra and an appropriately sized t-shirt, no-one would have actually noticed that he had boobs. Instead, he was actually drawing attention to himself, in an unflattering way. His loss.

Yes, at certain size going braless actually draws more attention to yourself. 
I'm a DDD, and I don't feel the need first thing in the morning to put a bra on sometimes.
The CNA will arrive and usually the first thing out of their mouths is, "oh, you're braless today."

It's the unsupported movement under your shirt (or blouse) that catches the eye.

I didn't wear a bra until I was a D cup, and I had a very hard time hiding them! ( bib overalls) 
I could have done much better in a bra, less movement. 

I know everyone's opinion about 'when' a bra is needed is different, some will even say C cup or larger. 
I personally believe failing the pencil test, or simply when a bra feels like it provides needed support. There really is no 'wrong time' to go into a bra. 

And my opinion, for those thinking about chest binding, I have done that. It was a waste of time and money. Just go get a fitting at the mall. 

[blad]

There is a good chance he has never tried a bra or considered one; if he had I am going to guess he would have embraced wearing a bra. 

[gotgyne]

I know everyone's opinion about 'when' a bra is needed is different, some will even say C cup or larger.
I personally believe failing the pencil test, or simply when a bra feels like it provides needed support. There really is no 'wrong time' to go into a bra.

During sports and PE even small breasts with an A cup need a bra, how statements by gynecologists show. Of course this is a valid argument for women and men.

[Busty]

I am thinking this is very different than those of us developing breasts at puberty and learning to adapt to the situation as opposed to someone attempting by choice to develop breasts.

Although many of us have adapted and accepted our situation, and embraced wearing a bra for best practical management, it was not originally by choice.

I agree.  It has been a long journey.  As a young teen, being oblivious to developing breasts to denying and ignoring their growth to being embarrassed at all the teasing and worse, to being ashamed and trying to hide and camouflage my breasts. 

Then giving in to always being told for so long I needed to wear a bra, and finally trying one on.  Finding I could completely fill up the cups of that first bra.  Feeling how good it felt to have everything nicely held in place; no more movement and jiggling.  How good it felt to be supported by that firm, but gentle hug on my chest.

I remember that first bra, holding my hands under my bra cups and feeling how my breasts stuck out from my chest and how the bra cups felt full and firm, yet soft, and thinking I did that.  That volume; that weight.  I was a nice handful.  Then gently squeezing my bra cups, and again feeling the fullness, and thinking that is all me in there, and how good it felt to hold my breasts and how good my breasts felt being held.  Then thinking, this was the first time I thought of them as breasts.  I had breasts just like all the girls in my class.  Not as big as some.  Bigger than others.  Probably bigger than average.  Then thinking, not only did I now think of myself as having breasts, but I now was comparing my breasts to the breasts of the girls in my class.

I suddenly wanted to see how I looked in a bra, and was a bit surprised to see how good I looked in a bra, thinking to myself this bra looks good on me.

And for the first time I felt something that was not negative, not denial or embarrassment or shame or trying to hide or camouflage or wishing I didn't have breasts.  A feeling of pride started to form.  I wished all the kids who kept telling me I needed to wear a bra could see me in one.  That they could see they were right.  That I did what they told me to do.  That I could thank them. And they could say you are welcome and compliment me.  Tell me how good that bra looked on me.  Tell me how good I looked in a bra. 

Fast forward to today (skipping many twists and turns along the way).  My breasts so full and heavy, I need to wear a bra for both comfort and appearance. Putting on my bra when getting dressed is now second nature and I hardly think about my bra when wearing it.  It is so natural, I am like a woman in that regard.  My breasts as big or bigger than most women's.  I feel sorry for flat chested women and proud of my full bust.  I wish my classmates could see me now!

[blad]

The comments above by bustymale are a classic synopsis of developing breasts as a teen, and fit my situation and history very closely.

My breast development seemed to happen overnight and I was initially unaware as to the extent until I began to receive all the comments and "teasing" in school and the gym class. I became very self aware with the daily comments that I need a bra, or asking me what bra size I was, etc.

As with bustymale, these comments eventually lead to trying on a bra for the first time. In my case it was some bras from my older sister's room. I too was instantly surprised at how well I fit the bras and how good it felt to wear one with the support and containment it provided. It just seemed so appropriate to be wearing a bra, and like bustymale, it affirmed that I did have breasts. I too was fascinated to hold my breasts cupped in the bra and to feel the breast mass held within. I also felt that I looked good in a bra when I looked in the mirror or looked down at my bust.

Again like bustymale, I began to feel good about having breasts while wearing a bra and had an unrealistic desire to tell the kids in school that they were right that I fit a bra. Although the kids comments in school about needing a bra were not meant to be helpful, it did begin the process of my acceptance of my breasts by wearing one. And I also began to compare my bust with the girls in school and began to take note of the types of bras they wore.

It was unfortunately very limiting to wear bras as often as I wanted or needed to in those early years in school. I would often be negatively aware of the presence of my unsupported breast in school which was distracting. But I had already come to the conclusion that I was ok with breast development if I could contain them properly with a bra. Looking back, I think this was very adult to accept that as a teen in a confused world.

Fortunately I was able to move toward wearing a bra full time as I entered university and beyond. I am very much accepting my breasts as long as they are comfortably contained in a bra.

It turns out that wearing a well fitting bra daily is not a big deal and a simple solution to managing breasts. With daily wear, most of the time you forget you are even wearing a bra. By contrast, I am quite sensitive to the sensations of being braless. There are few times when I am out in public that I even think about my bra. It just does its job. If more men with breasts tried a proper fitted bra for any length of time I think few would look back. 

[Busty]

For me, the first bra I wore was my mother's.  The final instigation was overhearing my mother giggling to my aunt that we were probably the same bra size.  When I tried on my mother's bra, I found out she was right!  It fit like it was made for me. 

I could not help but think everyone who told me to wear a bra was right and my mother even correctly guessed my bra size.  And I wanted to prove them right by wearing a bra, but I was afraid to do it outside my home. 

I was a latchkey kid, and would rush home from school and get into one of my mother's bras and look at bra ads and catalogues and learn everything I could about bras.  Of course, with my mother's bras and the bra ads were panties and hosiery and shapewear, so it was impossible for me to ignore them.  I figured if I already needed to wear a bra, like everybody said, I should also try wearing the other intimate apparel that went with them.  I found I loved how silky and soft and smooth they felt.  And they looked much better with my bras than anything boys wore.

I started wearing panties or pantyhose or shapers to school those days when I didn't have PE.  What I really wanted to wear was a bra, but I knew everyone would be able to tell.  So, I would sit in class and think I should be wearing a bra like all the other girls, but at least I was in my panties or shaper or pantyhose like the other girls.

Of course, those days I had PE, I wore my boys underpants, but would soon invariably be on the skins' team and run around all class topless, my naked breasts constantly jiggling, sometimes bouncing wildly, and my nipples getting hard, thick and longer in the cool gym air.  Those days when the girls had the gym right after us and would be waiting in the bleachers watching the last part of our class, I would hear them giggling and whispering, and I knew that it was about seeing me bare breasted, breasts jiggling and bouncing and nipples engorged.  I initially hated PE, but over time, got used to it.  I even thought of it to myself as my "titty show." and would laugh to myself I could put on a better show if I could have just worn my mother's panties or shapewear or pantyhose or better yet, her thigh highs or garter belt and stocking instead of my gym shorts.

I really knew a lot about intimate apparel, was familiar with everything my mother owned, and loved how I felt and looked in it.

[Johndoe1]

These stories sound familiar. Like busty,  the first time I put on a well fitting bra, I too was amazed at how firm but plyable they were in the cups. As I moved, they attempted to move within the cups but the fabric restricted their movements to only what would jiggle inside the breast itself. The sensation of this restrictive movement was pleasurable in a non sexual way. The harsh movement across my nipples I had always felt was gone. Replaced by a comforting stillness as the cup fabric gently conformed around and held my nipples in place protecting them from outside stimulation. I too ran my fingers and hands under the cups  amazed at the amount of lift and distance of projection MY breasts had. They stood straight off my chest at a 90 degree angle due to the bra and not hanging down. At that moment I realized how in vein it had been to even try and hide my chest with the amount of tissue and adipose now contained within the cups of this DD bra. With the bra now holding all the weight of my bosom, it felt like I had no bosom! I felt a joy and confidence about my chest I had never felt before. At that moment I understand why women might complain about their bras, but would NEVER remove them. I would never remove mine either. 

[Justagirl💃]

There is nothing wrong with men with breasts 'staying males', and still admiring their assets. Supporting them with well fitting and pretty bras to treat the girls right. 

We are all very different individuals, but we share a common denominator here in this forum, we possess breasts. 

[42CSurprise!]

Essentially, what we're doing on this side of the website is staking a claim to a form of masculinity that includes having and enjoying breasts that have developed on our chests.  Yes, Sophie transitioned but I don't get a sense that many of the men here are interested in following that path.  But even without committing to reconstructive surgery we can express our femininity if that is our wish.  I know some of us enjoy wearing panties and other intimate women's wear.  Interestingly, most of the men who crossdress have no interest in transitioning.  Generally, they're heterosexual as well.  But they do love women's curves and their intimate apparel.  Smart men if you ask me!

I ran errands this afternoon wearing a minimizer brassiere I've seldom worn.  The soft material of the cups holds each breast beautifully and I loved walking through the store aware of my voluptuous breasts filling the front of the turtleneck I wore.  And it was the young women in the store I was checking out... not the young men.  Alas, I've no intention to act out the dirty old man routine... in part because I doubt anyone in my world is thrilled that I have breasts.  So be it.  I accept myself as I am, breasts and all.  And I'll stay a male even as I embrace my femininity.  Glad I've found other men who feel the same way.  And, of course, those men who wish to live as women, with or without SRS, are valued compatriots as well.

[Parity]

Essentially, what we're doing on this side of the website is staking a claim to a form of masculinity that includes having and enjoying breasts that have developed on our chests.  Yes, Sophie transitioned but I don't get a sense that many of the men here are interested in following that path.  But even without committing to reconstructive surgery we can express our femininity if that is our wish.  I know some of us enjoy wearing panties and other intimate women's wear.  Interestingly, most of the men who crossdress have no interest in transitioning.  Generally, they're heterosexual as well.  But they do love women's curves and their intimate apparel.  Smart men if you ask me!

I ran errands this afternoon wearing a minimizer brassiere I've seldom worn.  The soft material of the cups holds each breast beautifully and I loved walking through the store aware of my voluptuous breasts filling the front of the turtleneck I wore.  And it was the young women in the store I was checking out... not the young men.  Alas, I've no intention to act out the dirty old man routine... in part because I doubt anyone in my world is thrilled that I have breasts.  So be it.  I accept myself as I am, breasts and all.  And I'll stay a male even as I embrace my femininity.  Glad I've found other men who feel the same way.  And, of course, those men who wish to live as women, with or without SRS, are valued compatriots as well.

42C Surprise, What I hear here is someone accepting who they are and where they are on the gender identity scale.  I feel the same way.  To me I have every intention to be me.  I believe we here may share the same chest features as women, including shapes and sizes, we all have different levels of hormones running through us that shape us in many other ways.  Between our ears.  Sophie is Sophie not me.  Blad is Blad,  Renee is Renee, Taxmapper..... point is we are all at a different place based on how our chemical makeup affects us.  I feel I am a lot like you 42C. 

 I am just thankful to have the ability to see and accept every one for who they are.  I will be me yet see you.  Always being there to walk with you and and encourage you as you do me.

[kbill2]

After reading through these posts, I am compelled to add a word to the discussion I haven't seen so far - autogynephilia.  In the majority of the posts in this thread, I saw behaviors and beliefs that are indicative of autopynephilia.  I am no expert and only came across this recently, but the research that has been done clicks all the stuff I have thought, felt, and done regarding my sexuality and fascination with "things female" over the years.  The truths I found in my reading resulted in relief realizing that what I've experienced throughout the years has been studied and there are a lot of guys that have experienced the same thing.  In addition to the relief, there was also some sadness because of the mistakes I made along the way in my ignorance of the implications of being an autogynephile.  The basic definition is a man who imagines and has a desire to imitate aspects of being female.

Some of the key takeaways for me were that autogynephilia is a spectrum disorder.  At one end are the guys interested in lingerie and hosiery and wanting to have female body characteristics (breasts, hips, vagina), but would never think of transitioning or SRS.  At the other end are the guys who want to transition and go through a complete SRS process.  To a degree at least, this hinges on the level of gender dysphoria. 

Another point is that autogynephilia is such a strong force in a guy that some researches consider it a complete sexual orientation by itself - it is neither homosexual or heterosexual.

A third point is that no matter how people respond to you if/when they find out you are an autogynephile, they will not and in fact cannot understand the struggle you have been through with this condition.

I highly recommend the book "Men Trapped in Men's Bodies" by Anne Lawrence.  I will advise that the whole idea of autogynephilia is controversial, but this book checked so many boxes for me that have proved freeing in some senses and also realizing that it is. in fact, a gift, not a curse.

[Moobzie]

KB2:

Spot on with the "A" word.  Many, if not most, posts here lately appear at least somewhat 'autogynephilic'.

But, of course, not all 'gynecomastics' are autogynephile - it's simply that men 'dealing with' their own breast development will appear autogynephilic because 'dealing with' breasts usually mens doing things that are 'usually' done by women (like, wearing bras).  And "doing things that are  'usually' done by women" is considered symptomatic of autogynephilia - but this isn't the case with gyno.  It's a separate category, and not in any way a psychological condition / disorder.

While gynecomastia has been a reality throughout history, we find ourselves in an era that only recently has begun openly discussing it publicly - and so we are, in a way, pioneers.

[kbill2]

Moobzie:

You make an excellent point and I hope my post did not suggest to anyone that gynecomastia and autogynephilia are in any way related.  If the desire to have breasts is one of the aspects of an autogynephile, then having gynecomastia would be a substantially different experience than a guy with gynecomastia alone.  I appreciate this thread and the forum as it appears that men dealing with having breasts is the overarching issue no matter how one comes by them. 

[WPW717]

Had a look at the Amazon prices, it’s too much $$$ to pay for a book of this nature that gets some rip roaring reviews from both sides of the issue. Not saying I wouldn’t read it and perhaps gain some insight and knowledge from it but it’s a retirement budget buster at 40 to 60 bucks.

[Evolver]

After reading through these posts, I am compelled to add a word to the discussion I haven't seen so far - autogynephilia.

This term has indeed been mentioned before, mainly by certain people who don't seem to be fully on board with the acceptance side of things. Not implying that you are one of them.

Rather than accept in blind faith what it actually means by the people who suggest it, a simple google search reveals that autogynephilia describes a male's propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female.

I would be very careful throwing that sort of aspersion around here. None of us here are dressing up or making ourselves up for the purpose of sexual gratification simply because we have flesh on our chests. Some of us are enjoying the heartwarming feeling of finally accepting being in touch with our femininity due to hormonal reasons alongside our physical ones, and that might sometimes translate to better times in bed concurrently, but it is not what drives us. To suggest otherwise is ignorant.

In my case, certain factors in recent years have resulted in my libido falling to zero and my ED is absolute too. But I enjoy a permanent feeling of inner glow from embracing my inner woman, who has manifested herself physically with my boobs and otherwise with the mannerisms that I automatically show. The definition of autogynephilia that some people go by, as in 'doing things like women do' is total BS in my book. And to call it as a spectrum disorder? *cringe*

As far as "At the other end are the guys who want to transition and go through a complete SRS process.  To a degree at least, this hinges on the level of gender dysphoria.", what you are actually describing is FtM folk!