Attempting to be New Around Here

[Midagemoobs2]

Welcome KV. Good that you are getting a fitting, I never had the nerve to.  The bra size calculators just didn’t work for me, so it was very much trial and error over time. Size calculators were off by four inches and two cups too large. Weight loss, exercise and slow growth over years and I now feel best in a minimizer but that seems to vary with the bra too. 

[Johndoe1]

KnownVariance,

Check your private messages. 

[taxmapper]

Taxmapper, your comment has me confused: So KV, the math in my dept. is WAY different but the same if you get my drift. 

I am probably too obtuse for this, but what are you referring to here? 



So the use of "math" is a bit of a metaphor.  (I do this alot). 

Meaning, that you can use many different ways of calculating to the same number.  

So if we are both at say 100 (with breasts) your path used a different equation and numbers than mine did.  

Simply put, there is more than one path to this place. 

[KnownVariance]

OldGuy- Thanks for the clarification, probably still a good idea to get it checked out at some point. Which is just going to be a part of life. Yay. The advice is sound, it’s worked for our marriage for most of the time. We have managed to stay married despite the challenges associated with this, and with my wife’s loss of belief in God, so I think and hope and pray we can make it to the 54th.

taxmapper- Ah! Yes, I do love metaphors, though I did get a bit mixed there. I understand what you mean now. We may have all traveled many different roads, but the road still lead us to 2. 4-2=2 just as 4/2=2, or even 1+1=2. I apologize for misunderstanding. The fact is we all came to having atypical chests for men. 

I am going tonight to get measured and hopefully a bra that works for me. Any suggestions on torrid bras specifically? I am hoping to walk out with probably 2-3 bras, most likely. 

[42CSurprise!]

I'm late to this conversation but like others who spend time on this website I extend a hearty welcome.  You've perhaps read my story and there were/are some psychological dimensions to my journey that may parallel your decision to walk on the wild side.  There is no need to dive into them here, but it seems your journey necessarily moves from shame to acceptance. Many of us here have taken that path.  It really doesn't matter the reason.  The only thing that matters is we embrace this moment, this body, this life.

Your wife's "embarrassment" for you could really be HER embarrassment that this is the reality she is facing.  I hope that is not true and that she can be an ally in all of this.  Since I'm not your couple's counselor I'll leave it for you to work out, but clearly the reaction of a partner can be challenging when contending with breasts arising on our chest.  My closest relationship is with my former wife and though she sees me often, the topic of breasts and brassieres is not discussed.  Most of the men here seem to have partners with whom they can talk about such things.

I've been wearing a brassiere the whole day on most days and I find comforting.  I wrote about the possibility that for me, perhaps for others, there is a dimension of fetishism here.  I find a really love my breasts and enjoy wearing a brassiere that presents them so well.  We each have our own journey... both what brought us here and how we engage with the process.  The reality is this is the only life any of us has.  Claiming our aliveness is probably the greatest blessing we can give ourselves.  I certainly am working with that.  Glad you found us KV and are sharing this journey with all of us.  We have your back... we'll leave it to your new brassiere to deal with the front.  And a photo is always appreciated... when you feel comfortable doing so.  Good luck with your fitting today.

[KnownVariance]

42CSurprise! - Thanks for the welcome! You do seem fairly active on here, with at least one comment on most threads I have read, and your comments have been insightful. I know some of your story, but likely not the full extent of it. 
Yes, I am attempting to embrace the acceptance part of myself, and move on the from the shame. Yep, that’s kinda where I am broaching it from myself. Taking what comes and accepting it. I am religious, so I do view this life as temporary and fleeting, with an eternal purpose behind it. That doesn’t mean that loss and suffering is any easier. 
I do think that her embarrassment honestly is just not being able to trust the sizes that are provided with the calculators that exist. She sees it as a form of being incompetent, rather than an embarrassment of me. As the past few years have happened, and this stuff with me, she’s come to the conclusion that she’s bi. So, there’s that, and I think she loves me for me. I don’t think she cares what hormones I have pumping through my body per se. I do tend to become ‘obsessed’ with various hobbies over the years, and as I’ve been trying to sort through bras and get information on them, she did express concern about it becoming an obsessive hobby. Video games have been a big one of mine in the past as well. 
I appreciate the feedback, and the back support, we shall see how the day progresses and how this evening will go, should be interesting to say the least.