I am new here

[Ironmaiden3122]

Hello everybody.  I have been meaning to join this place for awhile now and finally had the courage to do so.  Maybe my story is common or maybe not, I am not sure.  This issue started when I was about 13 and had a falling out with all of my friends and ended up spending all my at home watching tv and eating bad foods because I had no friends and nothing to do.  I noticed the man boobs and then followed by the love handles.  So while I was still able to live a normal high school life and had friends and little issues, I still had to be careful of the shirts I wore and could not dress how I wanted.  this has continued throughout my life and I have learned to live with it, but looking back it has severely damaged my quality of life.  The self consiousness, the buying shirts I can't wear because of the material not being thick enough, and not being able to go swimming or the beach or do the things everybody else does.  A lifetime of low self confidence and worrying what others think and cringing when I look in the mirror.  Now that I am getting older, I feel like I can't just ignore this anymore and am thinking about surgery options.  But joining this forum is a huge step for me.  I am in tears just typing this because I have never been able to even talk about this with anybody and have felt so alone for so many years and decades.  I didn't know there were others out there like me.  Anyways, that is the basics of my story.  thanks for listening 

[WPW717]

Many like you
Many have gotten here via other paths 

Welcome aboard, lots to learn from lots of different people.

Read on …

[LukeC]

Welcome

[Parity]

  Welcome Ironmaiden.  Life is hard when society builds boxes that they deem the standard and acceptable. Many don't fit in the box by no fault of their own.  The outsiders.  They shame those outsiders and look at them as odd and not acceptable.  This is wrong.  I feel shame is given but we don't have to accept it.  Many time ones physical shape is out of ones control.  Other times it's driven by events happening around them.  Everyone has to say to themselves that not everyone is educated in all maters.  They don't understand the why one is over weigh or as a man developed breast, you pick the issue.  It's their problem if they don't want to understand.  I, we, YOU must learn we are unique and special people.  

  I feel it took a lot of courage to openly say how you feel.  A huge step forward.  Good for you!  

  I hope you learn that your not alone and many of us here have learned how to live with it and live a healthy life in spite of having breast. The biggest step is accepting yourself.  Then what others say and think will not matter.

  To shame, look at disparagingly, mock and ridicule is easy.  It takes someone with strength, courage and backbone to chin up and live. 

Best to ya mate.  Chin up,keep talking and reading.  Your not the only one dealing with appearance issues.   I love me and others despite their appearance. Someone with good character is who I like to chum with.

Parity  

  

[Ironmaiden3122]

Many like you
Many have gotten here via other paths

Welcome aboard, lots to learn from lots of different people.

Read on …

thanks so much for the welcome and I look forward to reading other people's stories 

[Ironmaiden3122]

Welcome

thanks!

[Ironmaiden3122]

  Welcome Ironmaiden.  Life is hard when society builds boxes that they deem the standard and acceptable. Many don't fit in the box by no fault of their own.  The outsiders.  They shame those outsiders and look at them as odd and not acceptable.  This is wrong.  I feel shame is given but we don't have to accept it.  Many time ones physical shape is out of ones control.  Other times it's driven by events happening around them.  Everyone has to say to themselves that not everyone is educated in all maters.  They don't understand the why one is over weigh or as a man developed breast, you pick the issue.  It's their problem if they don't want to understand.  I, we, YOU must learn we are unique and special people. 

  I feel it took a lot of courage to openly say how you feel.  A huge step forward.  Good for you! 

  I hope you learn that your not alone and many of us here have learned how to live with it and live a healthy life in spite of having breast. The biggest step is accepting yourself.  Then what others say and think will not matter.

  To shame, look at disparagingly, mock and ridicule is easy.  It takes someone with strength, courage and backbone to chin up and live.

Best to ya mate.  Chin up,keep talking and reading.  Your not the only one dealing with appearance issues.  I love me and others despite their appearance. Someone with good character is who I like to chum with.

Parity 

 

thanks so much for your kindness and words of support.  This is exactly why I joined here and just what I needed.  That was an emotional day for me so I needed some time to unpack all of this.  I know a lot of people have it a lot worse than me and luckily I haven't gotten the ridicule or the stares.  At least not that I know of.  My heart goes out to everybody that is dealing with these things I admire all of you for the way you support people and the way you handle these things.  

about 10-12 years ago For awhile I got myself in the best shape I could be.  I was working out and doing well.  I still was not able to wear certain shirts, but I had a drawer full of shirts that I could wear with confidence and started to feel good about myself.  Then I got into a car accident and got depressed, and then the pandemic happened and I was scared about employment and the future and after a year, I was in the worst shape of my life and slid backwards.  and now here I am.  Thanks again for everything.  

[Midagemoobs2]

Let me add my welcome! It sounds like you maybe have some self blame from the past few years of being out of shape. Let go of that all the way; reading both posts, you were probably predisposed (as most of us here) and it would have shown up in some fashion anyhow. Gynecomastia is a much more common condition than most think (more than half have it by 60 in varying degrees), and genetics and many other factors that contribute are out of your control (or as with some meds choices which may be a risk/choice that is the lesser of evils), again let it go.  Only a doctor can determine if it is regular gyno with tissue or pseudo with mostly fat, but either way it's there. If you are trying to get in better shape, that's great too.

The great thing is now that you are seeing where you are objectively, you can make choices that are right for you. If you choose surgery and vetted your doctor (and there are some very skills surgeons), looked at sample pics for people with similar body types to yours and think it will be a positive life choice for you, it's the right decision for you and your situation.  If you decide to live with it, it's the right decision for you and your situation.  Best of luck and feel free to reach out whenever you need. And you'll help others in the process so please share your journey wherever it takes you.