So far, this has been by far the most depressing summer for me. Not only that, it is probably going to be my last summer as a "kid". I'm 21 years old now and I'm a junior in college. Next summer I'll probably be interning somewhere, so this is probably my last summer to have fun.
My summer has been terrible. I wouldn't say I have a major case of gynecomastia, but I do have puffy nipples which I find to be totally embarassing. They shine like crazy, and the fact that my skin is pale due to not being in the sun makes it look worse.
This summer has been a killer, because I've had to turn down so many things that I wish I could do. First off, this girl that I like asked me to come to a pool party at her house last week and to the beach this past weekend. I had to come up with two bogus excuses just to avoid the situation. And it sucks, because I know she likes guys that like to do the same things as her. She loves swimming and going to the beach in the summer. I love all of that stuff too , but I just can't get myself to actually do it because I'm afraid of what she might think.
Second, today is the 4th of July, and my cousin is having his annual BBQ. I know it's going to be a blast, but I made an excuse not to go, because like most BBQ's there's a pool and I'd look like a complete jerkoff being the only person not swimming, not to mention the fact I would have to take my shirt off in front of dozens of girls. The rest of my family went, and I'm on my own to find something to do. Not only that, but my best friend knows I didn't want to go (he doesn't know the reason), so his girlfriend invited me to her house for her BBQ/pool party. I gave him the excuse that "I'll probably drop by for a little bit later."
And to top it all off, a bunch of my friends are going to a waterpark this weekend, and I had to give them the excuse that I'm working. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WANT TO DO ALL OF THESE THINGS, BUT I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO ASK MY PARENTS ABOUT SURGERY!! MY MOTHER ALWAYS TELLS ME IM SO SELF CONCSIOUS....YES I AM!!
They definitely have the money for the surgery, it just takes coming up with the courage to ask them and actually convince them that it's worth it. I'm so lost and depressed, I've missed out on the last 5 summers, and the best years of my life which included senior year of high school and basically all of college thanks to this f***ing deformation. Sorry to waste your guys' time. I just had to vent....Thanks.