right, i cant actually believe im finally doing this. after seeing something on this morning yesterday about gynecomastia i have finally decided to do something about this condition that has affected me for at least 5 years! i am sorry if this is long but i am using this as a way of letting out my feelings finally which is letting me come out of denial that YES i have gynecomastia!
before i start i shall say that currently i am 17 years old
since i started puberty my breasts have been more pronounced than everyone elses and i was always aware of this, i made sure i wore clothes so they werent very obvious and when i think back they werent very noticable at all. i remember feeling little lumps under both nipples at about 13 and went into denial telling myself that it was nothing and that when i come out of puberty it will dissappear...
well through my teenage years the condition got gradually worse and my breasts continued to grow. this made me deeply depressed inside but i didnt show it or let it out. instead i turned to food which was really the worse thing to do. i would eat constantly because it gave me comfort, the more i ate the happier i felt even though i was getting fatter. i kidded myself that i wasnt putting weight on and it was unoticeable and actually making my man boobs look better, when in actual fact i just looked horrendous and looked like a fat mess. when i started college i had no confidence whatsoever but this was boosted by people taking me for who i am and looking past my size. but although i had more confidence, i continued to eat excessively and couldnt break the cycle. i ate and ate and ate and i think that it was an eating disorder, rather than starving myself i was overeating!. i didnt go out with my friends because i was constantly paranoid that people were looking at me and my confidence plummeted!
but things got better. for some reason in september 2006 i decided that i was going to take action about my eating and try and work it out for myself. no help, no tricks or potions, just sheer willpower. i had not weighed myself in years in a bid to kid myself that i was not obese. i decided that the first step to getting better was to weigh myself. i am 6ft 6 1/2 and i weighed 24st. i was disgusted and cryed myself to sleep that night. but to cut a long story short, i massively reduced my calorie intake and went on a diet that i could stick to (not weightwatchers, not atkins etc. but just being sensible!!!) i have now got down to 16 1/2 stone which is the lightest i have ever been and my life at the moment is amazing! i have more friends than ever, i go out clubbing with limited inhibitions and im so much more confident
it was so hard losing that much weight and i think i have done it quite quickly. i plan to carry on losing weight by continuing going to the gym and sticking to a sensible diet but now there is just one thing that i want to get rid of! my manboobs!. i was in denial about them but i have now booked an appointment with my GP for next wednesday. i am sooooooo nervous about it because i havent been to the doctors for 5 years - he is totally unaware of my struggle that i have been through so i hope he is understanding. he didnt see my massive weightgain and then loss so i hope he believes me!
i am really happy with my body now because i am really tall so even though i am still not exactly light, i look in good proportion and everyone is complimenting me on a daily basis, some people dont even recognise me! except from my breasts, they are smaller than they used to be but they are still very lumpy when i prod them (is this the glands?) and they do protrude from the chest and kind of sag a bit.
i hope that the gp visit goes well because now i have admitted it to myself i want to get it all done so i can do the things i love so much like swimming which i havent been able to do for soooooo long because people would stare and i havent got the confidence to do it
im sorry this was so long but it has provided such relief for me, it has taken such a weight off of me! i would greatly appreciate comments of my story to make me feel a bit less anxious of my visit to the GP next week. i plan to use this as my little confessions diary to let out my feelings so i will keep everyone posted on everything that happens starting with my first visit to hopefully the operation!