We all know that coming to terms with breasts developing on our chests, whether as adolescents or later in life, is challenging. That is especially so for men who lean into rigid ideas of what it means to be a man. A
manly man will not take kindly to the notion that having breasts can lead one to explore brassieres or other feminine garments. I've visited this site for a couple of years and have witnessed some rather nasty exchanges around something as ordinary as whether wearing a brassiere is a reasonable response to growing breasts. Sophie took the long journey from a teen whose breast growth was so significant that his mother encouraged him to wear a brassiere, to transitioning to live life as a woman. That is probably the journey that would most terrify a manly man. Dale hadn't gone that far, but he did make play out of the fact he'd developed a rather feminine looking body. He looked great in the outfits he showed us. Technically he was crossdressing, but he was doing it in a specific way... COSPLAY. Perhaps that will lead to transitioning, but he certainly wasn't advocating that, any more than Sophie has.
We have breasts because we have elevated estrogen in our bodies, likely coupled with diminished testosterone. From this place we will have great difficulty playing the
manly man. In fact, both our bodies and our emotions have us leaning into a more feminine presentation and many of us are enjoying that experience. Again, that is terrifying for a
manly man who is clinging to his fantasy of who he must be.
I know the man who started this website eventually had surgery and was happy with the outcome. He created a website with the two sides because he recognized not everyone would choose the surgery route. But there will eternally be two sides with differing perspectives on it all. Since the site is now run by doctors who make their living doing plastic surgery, I don't expect there is a great deal of enthusiasm for what happens on this side... but the conversation continues. It is easier to talk about the practicality of needing, finding and wearing a brassiere than to talk about what it is like to live in a more feminine body. But we do some of that as well. I appreciated Dale's contribution to that side of things, in the same way it heartens me that Sophie chooses to continue chatting with all of us despite transitioning. This seems to me a very healthy conversation to be having. One size DOES NOT fit all... Learning to love ourselves exactly as we are... breasts and all... is important. Being honest about our comfort in our changing bodies is part of that process. Enjoying a well fitting brassiere that shows off our breasts makes good sense to me. Sharing that with one another is simply fun... and there is nothing wrong with that.