Gynecomastia Support Forum

Gynecomastia Acceptance => Acceptance => Topic started by: BAB on August 01, 2024, 08:43:13 AM

Title: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: BAB on August 01, 2024, 08:43:13 AM
First time poster here. Was diagnosed with gyno 2 months ago. My boobs are growing and sore. The nipples have gotten twice as large. I am a 40B size, but my wife feels strongly that wearing a bra is cross-dressing and not needed. She has ordered some gyneomastia shirts for me to try.  How do I convince her that bras are a good idea? She has gone to all the medical sites that only talk drugs and surgery, "Not one talks about clothing or bras". Are there any medical sites that discuss clothing options?
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: WPW717 on August 01, 2024, 10:09:46 AM
Surprised at first re the breast growth she was. Then the remarks by me of chaffing and bouncing on stairs as they grew. This progressed to the gynecomastia shirts which over time became more of a problem than the boobs hurting. Moved on to sports bras and she was okay with them. With more growth the progression of the breasts are exceeding the sports bra capabilities. Then my attempts to migrate into big girl bras’ was laughable so she set about helping me to get into correct sizes and shapes. This was our (her) progression to  bras. The timeline for this was about a year and the timeline for the breast growth was about 2+ years, it happened quickly.
YMMV as many here have discovered.
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: BAB on August 01, 2024, 10:29:42 AM
Thank  you all for replying. WPW717 she just ordered the gyneomastia compression shirts so some progress,  but why did the shirts become a problem?
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: gotgyne on August 01, 2024, 10:39:49 AM
First time poster here. Was diagnosed with gyno 2 months ago. My boobs are growing and sore. The nipples have gotten twice as large. I am a 40B size, but my wife feels strongly that wearing a bra is cross-dressing and not needed. She has ordered some gyneomastia shirts for me to try.  How do I convince her that bras are a good idea? She has gone to all the medical sites that only talk drugs and surgery, "Not one talks about clothing or bras". Are there any medical sites that discuss clothing options?
Welcome to the forum! Joining us is the first important step.

For many men it is a real problem to convince their spouse that they need a bra. They see it only as a part of female underwear, but not for supporting breasts in men. My wife is one of these women. Although she knows that I wear a bra, she does not like it. I would never dress or undress in front of her for this reason. I can understand her. But on the other side, if she would like to wear male undershirts or boxers I'd have not the slightest problem with it. It's a really complicated matter.

Unfortunately there are no medical sites that recommend wearing bras for men, at least I don't know any in the U.S. In my country Germany, there are some sites, even by doctors, who perform gynecomastia surgery. Look here. Number 2 is translated:

"Support in everyday life: a bra!

Many men with gynecomastia who have not yet decided to have surgery try to make their everyday life easier - and wear a bra. This can be a very good solution, especially when doing sport, to avoid being affected by a sagging breast.
Men just need to be aware that a bra does not necessarily have to be seen as female lingerie. In the truest sense of the word, it is a bust SUPPORTER and therefore provides relief."

Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

https://www.gynaekomastie-koeln.de/fuenf-fakten-zur-gynaekomastie/


 (https://www.gynaekomastie-koeln.de/fuenf-fakten-zur-gynaekomastie/)
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: gotgyne on August 01, 2024, 10:58:48 AM
Thank  you all for replying. WPW717 she just ordered the gyneomastia compression shirts so some progress,  but why did the shirts become a problem?
These shirts compress all of your breast tissue and can conceal gynecomastia very well. But on the long run they are not healthy for this reason. And they do not in the least support (no pun intended!) the acceptance of your breasts by yourself and your wife.
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: blad on August 01, 2024, 02:52:34 PM
At one point my wife looked at me and said that I needed a bra more than she did. It was made in a bit of a sarcastic tone but it opened the door to full time wearing of a bra. Clearly she began to realize my needs.
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: WPW717 on August 01, 2024, 03:35:17 PM
Dang things are uncomfortable, hot too. And I run hot 24/7/365.

It was a comedy show for her to watch me struggle to get out of the straight jacket. It always ended with me whining for help to get free.😩

That phase didn’t last too long thankfully.
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Traveler on August 01, 2024, 11:28:37 PM
Yeah, gynecomastia tees don’t just compress the boobs but the whole torso. I did them for about 6 months, but when summer came around they were the worst. Sweat, chafing and a bit of a rash developed. Pullover sports bras came next. Much better but the uniboob look may not your favorite. They did control the jiggle and hide the nipples though. That was my big problem. Good luck and welcome to the club.
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: WonderfullyMade on August 02, 2024, 09:32:47 AM
When I mentioned to my wife that I wore bras when doing activities such as mowing the yard where it was painful with my breasts bouncing, she just smiled and gave here breasts a little jiggle and said "trust me, I understand" lol. She's a DDD so she would understand. So I guess I've had her support all along even when I was hiding the fact that I was wearing a bra
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 02, 2024, 10:20:41 AM
Accidentally I left a bra rolled up in a top and my wife found it when she went to do laundry. I wash my own bras to show respect that I don't expect her to wash my bras and I don't normally let her see me in just a bra either, though I will wash her bras if I see them in the laundry when I do mine. When I got in from work she nonchalantly stated, I found one of your bras in the laundry. I washed it for you and it's hanging in the bathroom with mine. Before I had a chance to retrieve it, she folded it and set it on the bed for me. First time since I started wearing a bra she has done that. 
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Justagirl💃 on August 02, 2024, 10:27:11 AM
With my wife my breasts were very much liked, but had to be hidden at all costs (God forbid someone think wrongly about her). Bras were therefore Taboo. 

She has been gone for over a decade but we occasionally talk. My stepdaughter informed her that I'm wearing bras and living as a woman. Our last conversation had her asking many questions about current bra size and styles. 

I used to tell her we were living a lesbian relationship 😉
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: taxmapper on August 02, 2024, 12:30:18 PM
My other half knows i wear them and have a larger collection of them. 
I wear pads, she doesn't. (how we keep them separated). 

I could talk at length about being a lesbian couple, but the manhood says otherwise and though she toyed with the idea, intimacy doesn't exist anymore. 

At times i wish i could just drop the man side and just go full female. 
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Gino on August 03, 2024, 12:55:01 AM
To convince her it's for support suggest to her that is she hurt her back or leg she'd wear a support appliance no? 
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Alfaqv on August 03, 2024, 05:59:18 AM
My advice would be to give her breasts plenty of attention. She probably feels threatened by your interest in your own breasts and desire to wear a bra. Perhaps you can introduce some  kind of mutual breast play into your sex life. A wear a bra and we manage to see the funny side of it. 
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Busty on August 03, 2024, 08:23:05 AM
Suggest you frequently go topless around her inside your home.  Let her have regular view and let her absorb the implications. 

You can make a good faith effort of wearing your Gynecomastia vests when you go out. Let her see you struggle to put them on. Comment how they are not comfortable. When you come home, immediately take off your vest, and sigh, aah that feels so much better 
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: BAB on August 03, 2024, 10:30:42 AM
Thanks for the "go topless" suggestion. Will do so immediately, especially at night. 
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Busty on August 03, 2024, 11:24:38 AM
Does your wife take off her bra as soon as she gets home? Does she go braless around the house? What does she sleep in on top? Do you know her bra size?
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: BAB on August 03, 2024, 06:25:59 PM
Doesn't take it off immediately, but she does go braless around the house. Loose top for sleeping. She is a42DD.
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Busty on August 03, 2024, 07:45:46 PM
Then she understands the need to wear a bra for comfort and appearance
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: taxmapper on August 04, 2024, 10:06:52 AM
My other half is a DDD.  She wont let me touch her and yesterday told me I needed to put on a shirt because of them being rounder now they are now in “obscene” territory.
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Justagirl💃 on August 04, 2024, 10:55:54 PM
My other half is a DDD.  She wont let me touch her and yesterday told me I needed to put on a shirt because of them being rounder now they are now in “obscene” territory.
All I can advise is, "baby steps".

It sounds like your S.O. has a problem with the "optics of it", and what others might think. I went through the same.

Unfortunately there was no resolving the situation in my case, but I have heard of S.O. coming around to accepting things in time.

"Wives that were adamantly against bra wearing started bra shopping with their husbands"

Acceptance isn't something that we alone must work on, it also pertains to those around us.
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Moobzie on August 05, 2024, 07:56:06 PM
A few years ago someone did a survey of women's opinions and reactions to men with developed breasts.While some were blasé about it, overwhelmingly, the ladies' responses were negative - ranging from "Not for me" to "stay far, far away" to "Yecch!"
Gets complicated when the lady is a significant other.  As posters here have related.  For those guys whose wives have accepted and even embraced their guys' gyno - be thankful.
For the rest, when it comes to steps - baby or big - tread very, very lightly.
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: BAB on August 06, 2024, 12:42:23 PM
Well, the nips are really showing and sore. So decided to forego the gyno shirt. Didn't think the spouse would notice, wrong. Came home from a doctor's visit and, "For God's sake put your gyno shirt on, that's why we got them". You folks were right, go and show them. 
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Busty on August 11, 2024, 09:39:56 PM
Well, the nips are really showing and sore. So decided to forego the gyno shirt. Didn't think the spouse would notice, wrong. Came home from a doctor's visit and, "For God's sake put your gyno shirt on, that's why we got them". You folks were right, go and show them.
I have found those shirts, uncomfortable. I assume you do, as well. Have you said anything to your wife about the discomfort? She wants you to wear your compression vest around the house?  Why?
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: BAB on August 12, 2024, 07:34:49 AM
Avoidance of the issue. Going to the cardiologist tomorrow,  no shirt then just the girls hanging out. At 3 to 4 hours the shirt comes off with a " that was painful". Baby steps. Wonder what the nurses will say attaching the EKG?😀😁😁
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Alfaqv on August 12, 2024, 08:02:36 AM
Good Luck and be proud of how you are. Health care professionals have dealt with everything. I pity these young guys having surgery for gynecomastia that is hardly noticeable. 
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Moobzie on August 12, 2024, 09:36:11 AM
Re: EKGs - very unusual for the med staff to comment on it, for at least 2 reasons:
1-They see it regularly.  Gynecomastia is almost a normal thing with cardio patients (combination of the usual development from age related diminished T, and common side effects of medications to keep them alive).
2-In the current socio-political climate they almost never make comments they think might lead to administrative backlash.
3-They have seen so much it's just not that big a deal for them.

I've had a lot of EKGs, but never a comment.  And, as can be seen, mine are 'noticeable'.
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Johndoe1 on August 12, 2024, 09:52:49 AM
Wonder what the nurses will say attaching the EKG?😀😁😁
In my past experience, nothing. Or they will provide cover with a sheet or gown. Two years ago I had a sonogram of my heart performed. The tech, a male, covered my chest with a sheet and did the entire procedure by touch. Something I am sure he has done many times with female patients. I did not ask for that but appreciated he took the preemptive initiative. I was not the first. 
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Justagirl💃 on August 12, 2024, 10:11:06 AM
I have had many EKGs in the past, and nothing is ever said. This last time the lady said, "sorry ma'am" as she lifted my boob to attach a lead. That was a nice change. ☺️
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: BAB on August 12, 2024, 10:53:06 AM
That's awesome they see gyno and don't care. The spouse will have the issue, so be it.  My breasts have been itchy/achy for some time and the nips are at attention. Her discomfort is so much than my physical discomfort right now. Sorry for being grumpy. 
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: tryingtoaccept on August 12, 2024, 12:18:11 PM
That's awesome they see gyno and don't care. The spouse will have the issue, so be it.  My breasts have been itchy/achy for some time and the nips are at attention. Her discomfort is so much than my physical discomfort right now. Sorry for being grumpy.
Sometimes we all just have to vent.  I hope it took some of the stress out of your situation.
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Traveler on August 13, 2024, 03:08:57 AM
Had a stress test a couple of years ago and went in wearing my front clasp as I thought I’d have to take it off for the test on the treadmill. A younger female tech just hooked me up, worked around my bra-with out a blink of her eye. I was thankful as I didn’t really want the girls bouncing around. An older tech walked in and her eyes got big but didn’t say anything. That was kinda funny actually. I’m sure she’d  seen guys with gyno before, but not as big as I am and all bra’d up. 😁
Title: Re: Acceptance by your spouse
Post by: Zaphod B on August 18, 2024, 05:54:07 PM
I had some minor outpatient surgery a while back.  They used an anesthetic so they wanted a heart monitor on me.  The nurse reached down my shirt and slipped her fingers into the top of my bra to attach the electrodes and removed them the same way.  She didn't even blink.
As for the wife, she is the one who pointed out that I was starting to look like a B cup.  She bought me my first bra, a cheap K Mart sports bra, because I was complaining about my chest hurting after biking and she wasn't surprised when I started wearing bras full time.  Talking about my boobs seems to make her uncomfortable but she is completely OK with me wearing bras and doesn't seem to mind that i have twice as many as she does.  She wears 42C underwires with soft cups so I can actually wear some of her bras without the cups wrinkling.
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