It's the night before my surgery

[emjay]

Tomorrow is really the day. and I really can't believe it.   

Waiting for me at my desk this morning was a fleece given out as an end of the year gift by my company.  It was a Large.  My first thought was "damn, I need an XL, I can't wear this, it won't be baggy enough."  Then I remembered that after tomorrow I won't need to wear overly baggy stuff anymore.  I think it was really the first time that it hit me that things are going to really change very soon.

After being unhappy about my gyne for half of my life (I am 33), and following years of contemplation, I finally went ahead and had consultations with a couple of surgeons this fall.  I had seen a documentary about four years ago, and that was the first time that I realized that surgery was an option, and that it was relatively simple.  But I kept putting it off, and talking myself out of it.  What really helped me move forward was finding this site.  It helped me build up the courage to do something.  Within a week, I had two consultations lined up with surgeons and I scheduled my surgery a few weeks later for December 27.  I was really gung ho, but unfortunately I had to wait a couple of months because of my work schedule.

Over the past two months I have been counting down the days, eagerly anticipating my surgery date.  I have come here almost every day to read every new post and look at every new picture.  I tried to anticipate how it would feel to finally be "on the other side."  It always seemed like my surgery was so far away in the future, and really just something that was never going to really happen.  But it is happening, and tomorrow is the day.

I don't know how I really feel...I am not very nervous.  I think I am just anxious...I just want to get it over with and get on with the post surgery healing process.  I am a little worried about how debilitating the aftermath will be, but given the feedback on this site, I think it should be very manageable.  I think the strangest part is accepting the fact that I am altering myself.  I wonder how easily I will get used to it.  Will I still feel self conscious, and try to hide my chest?  Or will I quickly adapt, and feel comfortable with the new me?

I guess I will see soon enough.  I just can't wait to wear my new fleece.

[emjay]

Congrats to you as well.  Who did your surgery?  I was with Dr Jacobs in NY.

I am feeling pretty good.  Really no pain, just finding this binder to be fairly uncomfortable.  I have not seen my results yet...I am supposed to keep it on at all times until tomorrow when I can take a shower.  I feel like a kid the day before XMAS...I can see the wrapped present under the tree but I can't open it yet!

I will have to wear the binder 24/7 for 3 weeks total, but after tomorrow I can wear a shirt underneath, which I hope will be more comfortable.

The other annoying thing is having to sleep on my back...I usually sleep on my stomach, so it was hard to get used to last night.  I am sure I will adapt though.