Thought I'd try a little AA/NA humor, not that I know anything about that, lol. Well, I'm 25 currently 280 lbs (working on it). At my heaviest I was 325, got a job roofing one summer and lost quite a lot of weight. I'm 5'11 or 6' and carry/cover my weight well. Most people guess or assume I'm 240ish, but they don't see how everything looks in the nude of course. I'm a virgin, don't even get looks from women, well even somewhat mildly attractive women. I'm sure you guys know that feeling. Knowing you are a decent guy and have a lot of friends who won't tell you the problem. I can see so many people look down when we talk and man it kills me. Add to that I sweat a lot at times, I pretty much stay inside and reclused more than anything now. I have been training on a bicycle lately to get exercise and signed up for a race as well. I notice, when I work out and dress up nicely, my confidence sky rockets. I'm one of those guys that has a great personality, but it very rarely shines through. Spurts here and there, I suppose. I know I need to have surgery for my confidence, character, etc.
I had this evil plan to lose weight over the next 4-6 months, and when I start looking more attractive going for the women who would have never given me the time of day. I know it's wrong and bitter, but I've got a little bitterness, just a tiny bit (lie). Well, I know how much of a problem it is for my man breasts and they are rather big. I always pull and tug at my shirt, probably making my insecurity more obvious. I guess in a way I think people might not notice, when it's rather obvious they do and I'm making it worse. Well, I was looking at some underworks gyne t-shirts and got extra motivated... just thinking "Can you imagine?" I know I will still eventually need surgery, if nothing for the big ariola nipples. I don't know how much working out will help, so I'm preparing anyway. I guess if I can spend $2400 for a bicycle why can't I save up for the surgery. It probably would have had a much bigger affect, but I think the struggle with weight loss is what has prevented me from serious looking into the surgery. On top of that I am looking for new employment and I guess there's a chance I might be able to get insurance to pay for it.
Only 3 people know how much this bothers me. My mother and 2 of my best friends. I couldn't muster up to talk to my dad about it, although he'd never judge, but I'm sure he knows and my mom has probably told him, but it just makes me feel like less than a man. I'm an extremely mentally confident person, but lack the physical. I've been wanting to move away from OK to Dallas, Chicago, or Seattle and starting over. I'm hoping to do that this fall or winter. I'm not sure if I would do the surgery before I moved or after. I dream of the day where I can come back around friends and family with a strong mental attitude. I've got a loooot of stretch marks as well, but if I were in shape and without the breasts I'd take off my shirt... can't wait to see how it feels. Oh and I'd learn how to swim. I normally lie and say how traumatized I was as a kid with water. I am scared of the water, but the real reason is not wanting to take off my shirt. I feel like there is a whole person and side to me I've never met and that I'm killing at the same time. Just thought I'd say hello, in a way I guess we are like a family huh? I'm hoping the underworks can at least help... I'm a big guy period and I know there is no overnight miracle (well nix surgery, lol), but every little bit of confidence gain I can get helps.
Anyways, hello guys!
