Hello everyone... Great board, newly discovered for me. I'm in San Francisco and I've recently decided to consult a PS about my gyne, appointment on 9/4/07. I've never really spoken to anyone about it (professional or non-professional).
It started when I was about 12 or 13 and I got mistaken for a 'daughter' a lot. That really upset me and started the self conscious spiral. I always cut gym class or just refused to participate to avoid ridicule. I began gaining weight (not intentionally) and, wow, it masked the gyne a bit. Weight gain evolved into an ok thing for me because it meant that I did not have titties, I was just fat. Fast forward to 19 years old: I weighed 180 at 5'6", carrying most of the bulk in my upper body. For all of the years up to here I never took my shirt off to swim, never wore tight clothing, wore big jackets in the summer, and did everything I could to mask the gyne.
At 20 I was tired of being fat and hit the gym, getting into the best shape of my life, weighing in at 160 lbs with 17% body fat. The really messed up thing is that I cannot remember being without the gyne and not having this issue in my head. Translated: body dismorphic disorder. To this day I don' t feel like or recall memories of my chest while I was in shape, it's like I blocked it out. I remember my abs, my legs, arms, etc., and I have only a couple of pictures to look at but they're not the best angles for judging how my gyne looked (if there). This concerns me a bit. Also - I'm referring to it as gyne even though never diagnosed.
By age 24 I was back up to 185 lbs, now noticing the breasts again. (When they weren't there, if that was the case, I ignored that area of my body. Although, I do truly believe they were there and I played mind games on myself). Fast forward to age 38, present day, and I weigh in at 211 lbs, still standing 5'6". I have major breasts, larger than some women at my office, again I don't wear tight clothing, and self conscious about windy days, pools, hot tubs, etc. but manage to get through it ok because I'm so tired of this. I want to enjoy my life without this always on my mind.
My decision to see a PS is in part due to stories I've seen on tv and internet, and what I've found here. My first goal is to lose weight again, getting back to at most 170-175 lbs and <20% body fat, which I estimate will take approximately 7-8 months with diet and exercise. In the interim, I'm researching gynecomastia to learn everything I can about it, consulting a PS, and looking forward to the freedom a masculine chest will give to me both physically (vanity) and psychologically, whether by exercise or by surgery. I do hold out a tiny bit of hope that the gyne will disappear when I reach my target weight, but not holding my breath. The PS (and lots of you here) will have words to offer.
Ok - enough babble... I took some pics to establish a starting point for myself, to see (prove) the progress, and partly to help others in my situation. My pics below tell the story...
Comments, replies, guidance and suggestions are welcome so please.. humor me.