man boobs,past...leukemia and doctors

[lukisb]

Hi sorry for my bad English,i am from Europe. My man boobs developed when i was 12 years old,i think that i have pseudogynecomastia,that doctors told me...the cause of my man boobs are when i was 12 years old i get illed from childhood leukemia and i from fit body football player i become fat teenager with man boobs,

it was very big problem for me,summers,springs,beaches and swimming pools i avoided and i ofthen slouched trying to hide man boobs and because of that i have back problems now probably scoliosis because of fucking slouching and man boobs...

I was always very shy and socialy anxious,also suffered depression,probably covert narcissist,but man boobs also was my problem,because i always wanted to be fit and muscular,at 17 years old i finally go to surgirist and probably because of childhood leukemia he didnt wanted to do anything with my man boobs,just told me that is ok you have normal chest nothing to worry,but i didnt satisfy with that,

at 18 i found some private doctor well know in my country and expensive,but i had money because of my 18 birthday and because in my country i became mature...firstly he was ok and try to explain surgery procedure after my mother told him i had leukemia he completely change the story and told me why that man boobs bother you,that have mostly fat people,but i never wanted to be fat,and i am not fat anyway today...he told me i dont want to took your money,go to country doctor-non private,so probably he didnt want to took responsibility if something go wrong...
Today i still have man boobs,yes i have anxiety if i would have surgery,man boobs dont bother me so much,but i am afraid to go to swimming pools,or beaches,i was trying to accept reading alchemist and pa paw but it didnt help me,i can not find good reason to accept man boobs...but still i dont know why doctors dont want to take surgery if i had leukemia...a year ago about i called different private doctors and mention past leukemiaa and they told me there is no problem to have surgery or any big risks...
My parents didnt support me they thought that it was in my head,i didnt have support going to first doctor and to second doctor,i know there is people with big deformities and much bigger but i think man boobs is also big problem dealing with girls,or going without worries on swimming,maybe some guys like alchemist have strength to deal with bullies and big  mental toughness,but i dont have i am honest...