My Story

[i_wish]

As a kid I was always put in sports and remained really athletic.  I played soccer, hockey and basketball.  Basketball was my sport of choice.  Up until the age of 14 I was a dominant player and won trophies all my life.  I was confident then, played basketball with a tee-shirt on, but still would always hope to never be on the skins side in camps.  I had gynecomastia start probably when I was around 11 or 10.  Honestly I really do not remember, but looking through my childhood photos it really seemed to appear when I was older.  I have countless accounts of being teased when swimming by cousins, friends, classmates.  The worst moment of having gynecomastia was when I was probably 13 and my father, looked at me when I was wearing a tight t-shirt and said "whats wrong with your chest?" and then just stared at me blankly and I said I "don't know."  I did not care for the friends, the classmates, the cousins but when your own father asks whats WRONG with you it really hurt.  To this date I will never forget the pain, and sadness of that moment.

Luckily, there was another kid who had a similar case of gynecomastia if not worse.  I stayed close to this guy and he is my best friend to this date, and some how his gynecomastia disappeared after puberty (we are 19 now.)  Deep down I am envious of his luck.   It really sucks.  My entire highschool life was a hell of an experience.  I had to adapt and learn how to hide this frankly, embarrassing condition.  My solution, I wore (sweaters, sweat shirts, track suits etc.)  I was too embarassed to play the sport I loved and honestly was good at, basketball in highschool.  To this date I feel like I missed out on the experiences I could've had.  I played in my freshman year and it was awesome, but the gyno got to me even more and then I never really played competitively again.  I look at my childhood medals of 11, 12, 13, and it puts a smile on my face.  But the pain however remains.  When I go out my friends often mention why do you always wear a sweater? or layers? And I reply, b/c its comfortable or some other excuse but really, its because of this damn condition.  Im sick of the lies, depression, and concealment.  I fucking hate it.