Telling the family - long post

[Chorlton]

I had to tell my  brother about the op - you know just in case anything happened!  He came to see me in the hospital.  I remember telling him I was going to surgey and to guess what for and he had no clue.  Even when I told him what it was for he was gobsmacked and said he had not really noticed.  I took my top off (first time since we were kids) and showed him my boobs and he said he understood - although not fully.  He managed to find this website on the internet and rang me up to ask if I was Chorlton.  After reading the people posts and the mental anguish the condition causes he said he fully understood and back my decision to go for surgery.

When I was off the week after surgery I went to see my dad.  He had been ill and I was able to spend a few days looking after him.  I decided to tell him. Armed with my digital camera I told him and showed him the pictures.  He said that although he saw my chest was bigger he thought it was from body building and exercise (me always being on some health resime).  I explained that trying to lose weight all the time was to get rid of the boobs.  I told him about the fact i thought about it every day since i was 10.  I told him about the channel four documentry.  And you know what he said?  Why had I not told him when I was younger.  He would have helped me sort it out.  That got me thinking.  Why had I not told him.  It was like some guilty secret.  I had shared it with my best friend and we had talked about it maybe 3 times since being kids.  But other then that no one else.  Being african I went through a ceromony when I was about 10 which involved 2 little scars being put on my chest. And I had always associated that to the boobs.  And in a way blamed my dad for putting me through it.  But as I got older I accepted the boobs until I watched the channel 4 documentary.  So the chat with my dad was like closure.  I told him why I thought I had them and then told him that the scars had nothing to do with the boob growth.  But had the ceromoney not took place it was good to know i could have spoke to dad about it and he would have helped sorted it before I was in my 30's.

I then went on to tell my little brother.  He to was gobsmacked untill he saw the pics (we gyne sufferers are pretty good at masking the condition - out with the dark cloths now eh!).  He said oh yes you always were black.  Then I told my little sis - and reminded her the times she had called my boobs.  She could not remember but apologised.  She also did not think I was bothered about it but was concerned just how much it had played on my mine.

I do think gyne can be in the mind of the beholder.  I have seen plenty of guys with their shirts off shaking their boobs like a poleroid picture with out a care in the world where others like myself would do their upmost to mask and hide the condition.  Once the realisation comes into ones head it is time to think about a resolution (which may not always be surgery) but some thing that can give you some kind of closure and put your mind at rest.

I have set myself the goal of informing as may people who I see with gyne about this site and the options available.  It will not be easy though.  If I mention it to some one who is happy with the way they look even with gyne then my conversation could open up doubt within them selves and set them on the road to mental unease about their condition - something they probably did not have before.  This is something I would want to avoid.

So how would you challange some one you think had the condition?  What would you say to let them know you know they have it and to give them information.

Sunday morning ramble over.

Chorlton

[Spleen]

Ignorence is bliss, so I'm not sure that you want to go ringing up old pals who don't appear to have any issue with the appearance of their chest.  It also might be that they already know that their chest isn't "normal" but just don't think it's all that important.

[headheldhigh01]

it's a tough call in a way, you probably have to go with your best instincts.  

i think gyne 's in the eye of the beholder only in the sense that we have to not let ourselves be paralyzed by it.   but it's not in the beholder's eye in that family and peers can pick up on -- and pick on for -- even a mild case.  

done this before, but since it's relevant to the thread, i'll post a link for my favorite post here for anyone new who never saw it before, turbo6's vacation story.  

http://www.gynecomastia.org/cgi-bin/gyne_yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=1;action=display;num=1069020120;start=0#0