Telling My Parents...Didnt Go as I hoped

[16yrOld]

I kept bugging my mom to go to the family doctor to get my sports physical to play high school sports.  She finally agreed and I went.  I really wanted to talk to my doctor about my gyno. Well the main doctor was on vacation so I got the assistant. Ironically, when the doctor was doing the physical and I took my shirt off my nipples were rock solid from the stupid cold air.(never thought I would say that ever!)  That was when I was hoping to show my mom because I was too embarrassed to tell her myself.  

My mom left the room so the doctor could do the next step of the physical.  For the first time ever in my life i pushed up my nipples to make them puffy to show the doctor.  He told me yes I have it and talked very little about it and said it will go away soon.  When the physical was done my mom came in and the doctor told us to stay there.

5 minutes later the doctor (ironically when I did some research on gynecomastia I saw this dude talking about it on a very popular website)  came in.  He handed me some sheets on gynecomastia which werent too helpful since I almost know every thing you could know after spending probably more than 30 hours researching gyno.  Then he staight out said your son has developed breasts. I dont even have breasts I just have huge puffy nipples. I look at my mom and she looks at me and I was so embarrassed.  Instead of him trying to talk to her what it is and how the emotional pain it causes to kids, he is just rude about it.  That car ride was awkward and silent.  

I tryed to tell my mom about it and how I've done this research and all this crap. She was saying it is nonsense and stupid I could be that self confident about it.  Now I never want to bring it back up again.  Thank You Doctor

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/teenagers/a/06_gynecomastia.htm

^^^ That was the assistant doctor I had ^^^

One of my Top 10 Worse Days

[cookie]

Really sorry it went like that.

You're sixteen.  How long have you had gynecomastia?  Or when did you notice?

I'm just curious, sorry if it bothers you, I'm 16 too.

[ocelot]

well to me i get the impression your mom thinks life is over or that her son is a freak. Tell her this is actually common in boys and you may be the lucky ones who don't have it later on in life. But try to make her understand that its not the end of the world, you can always get a surgery or lose weight(if weight is an issue) or just show her the article which explain gyno.

[16yrOld]

Really sorry it went like that.

You're sixteen.  How long have you had gynecomastia?  Or when did you notice?

I'm just curious, sorry if it bothers you, I'm 16 too.

http://www.gynecomastia.org/cgi-bin/gyne_yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=2;action=display;num=1152057043


^^^ That is my case ^^^

[headheldhigh01]

so your misfortune was to have a doc who's enough of a quack not to understand tact.  

that shocked your mom enough to not want to listen rationally and intelligently -- sorry for the sexism, but imagine a woman doing that.  

now you know you're on your own.  if you can't manage your case with them, manage it without them.  you did the right thing, it just didn't pan out.  you may not have assumed full control yet, but you are still your own boss.  

[hiufung88319]

When i try to find doctor for help,i found 4 doctor,only 1 doctor want to help me for surgery

[Eric Robertson]

I can sort of relate to all of your cases.  When I was 10 years old I noticed that I had gynecomastia.  I went to the doctor and he said that it would go away.  BIG SUPRISE: IT DIDN'T! I kept telling him every year it was still there that my moobs weren't getting any smaller, but larger.  It wasn't until i was fifteen when I finally said to my doctor that's it, my gyne will not go away.  He sent me to a endocronologist just to make sure that there was no underlying hormonal problems.  There weren't.

It seems as though a lot of individuals like myself have had problems like this happen to them before.

-Oleska-

[moobius]

let it sink in with your mom and then approach her to discuss it again...

obviously the doc is a tactless SOB. i wouldn't see him again and would find another doctor. theres' plenty of them outt here that you can find one you like and that at least seems caring and sympathetic (if that's what your looking for).   in my experience, 1 good doc is better than 20 bad/mediocre ones.

[Paa_Paw]

OK,so the doc was tactless and perhaps even rude or crude.

Unless you can think of a better way to open the subject, I guess that you're stuck with what you got. At least there is one positive thing, the subject is now open.

Your Mom is probably in a confused state and trying very hard to deny that there is anything out of the ordinary. It seems you did the same thing for several years before you got up enough nerve to see the Doctor.

Now that the topic is open, keep it open.

The ball is in your court!

[Warlord]

OK,so the doc was tactless and perhaps even rude or crude.

Unless you can think of a better way to open the subject, I guess that you're stuck with what you got. At least there is one positive thing, the subject is now open.

Your Mom is probably in a confused state and trying very hard to deny that there is anything out of the ordinary. It seems you did the same thing for several years before you got up enough nerve to see the Doctor.

Now that the topic is open, keep it open.

The ball is in your court!

I mostly agree with Paa_Paw.  Your mother could very well be in a state of denial.  I doubt that there are many parents out there who could deal with some doctor telling them that their son has breasts like a girl.  It would be like finding out that the son you've raised for 15 years has ovaries and is actually your daughter...

The important thing is to try to face this.  The only person you have to depend on right now is yourself and the only route for your mother (or parents) to come to acceptance is through you.  I know it sucks, but that's the way it is for the time being.  As I see it, you have two choices:  either you can take your stand, forcing your parents to acknowledge your gynecomastia, thereby getting some help, or you can let embarassment take control of the situation and pretend like nothing ever happened.  I think we both know which way is the right way.

One more thing: your embarassment in the doctor's office is the exact same thing you've dealt with each and every day.  Only difference is that it was verbalized, forcing you to actually HEAR it with your own ears.  I promise you that hearing it made it seem 100 times worse, when, in reality, it's the same thing you've struggled with for years, just silently.

Hang in there, man.  Taking control of the situation with your mom is the first step to you taking control of the gynecomastia...

[Paa_Paw]

Thank You, Warlord,

It is great to have what I said so awkwardly supported with such eloquence.

[Warlord]

Thank You, Warlord,

It is great to have what I said so awkwardly supported with such eloquence.

LOL!  Nonsense, sir.  Your post was perfectly fine.  Just agreeing with what you wrote...