Author Topic: Accepting myself  (Read 1358 times)

dudewithboobs

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Good morning, I had taken quite a bit of a break from forums to try and work on myself and learn what accepting really meant to me. I apologize to any I had developed connections with privately and suddenly disconnected a time or two as accepting myself was beginning to become a blurred line and confusing and causing me great anxiety. I re registered to come back and to keep a familiar name for those who may recognize and hope to be welcomed back. But wanted to just share things rather just randomly re appear on comments as it has always been great to have that warmth here to just share. 

I won’t write a novel here but just wanted to say thank you to those I have talked to privately and those who contribute so actively here. You may or may not have any idea how vital your general discussions, random topics and against the grain of norms has really helped myself and others in accepting themselves to be themselves and embrace themselves. 

Sometimes you gotta get offline from things to get online with yourself. I’m excited to be here again and see quite a few new usernames and hope all are having a great day and enjoying the weekend so far. 




Offline Justagirl💃

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Welcome back 😉

I can totally understand leaving the forum to "straighten out some thoughts" only to return under a different name. I did that myself. 

Brdy64 (Birdie) to Justagirl (still Birdie)

Acceptance is quite the tough road to take, and it's not the same path for everyone. 
60 years of conditioning by society made me quite afraid of the answers I desired, and I'm afraid I found them very late in life. Perhaps others will have better luck obtaining theirs at a much younger age. 

Perhaps the hardest thing I found was realizing that the "opinions" of others have no bearing on who I am. I am who I am, and I only have to feel good about myself to me and me alone. Acceptance is quite selfish. 

I wear my bras proudly! If they are noticed I want good shape and form presented. If they are not noticed, they must provide support above all else. 

FYI: in my case I go the extra mile to make sure the girls are noticed, but that's just my personal level of acceptance. 

To some, a sports bra and baggy shirts will be the level of acceptance that makes them feel good about themselves, and that is 110% okay! Acceptance is "whatever works for you". 

One way or they other, the estrogen dominance will have it's effect on all of us to varying degrees. So us Trans Women and the folks in baggy shirts and sports bras still have much common ground that can be discussed. Like for instance: hot flashes!

I don't want to see everyone in cute blouses, I hate it when Torrid runs low on stock. 🤣
When life gives you curves,
flaunt them! 💃
💋Birdie💋

Offline WPW717

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On the acceptance front

Today I was in the hot tub and looked down, not only saw my growing breasts but noticed for the first time that the carpet of hair has thinned down. It wasn’t just the light or angle of the view , it is disappearing. The hair loss on my arms and pits along with the legs cued me in to low Testosterone last year. Long road with doctors to now. No brain tumor no recurrence of CA just gyne. Travel through this forum to today and with the discussions here has brought me a long way towards acceptance .
During this exploration of estrogen dominance I found a lot of clarity from a book that has explained acceptance of self. It’s called’ The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle. I highly recommend it for anyone but especially those here in the acceptance side of this site.
Regards, Bob

Offline Johndoe1

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One must find a way to accept themselves before anyone else can accept them. A hard lesson I learned. I tried ignoring my chest for years. The more I ignored them, the worse the anxiety over them became. I just had to do something. I didn't want to wear a bra. I had no desire to wear a bra. But in the end, the road to self acceptance was via a bra. At that point, it just made sense when nothing else did. Sometimes you come to the end of the road with no where else to turn.
Womanhood is not defined by breasts, and breasts are not indicative of womanhood. - Melissa Fabello

Offline Justagirl💃

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Incredibly my acceptance of myself declined as I got older.
Until recently.

I was a 12-13 year old with waist length hair and a 29" waist. My 32" hips and my 128 lbs meant grandma kept me in the sewing room helping making wedding dresses, school clothes, and catering weddings.
Breast tissue growth sparked my father's interest, and "you have to man up" became my new world.

As my puberty was heading the wrong direction (according to my father), testosterone therapy was prescribed for two years my senior year and one more year after high school. I grew from 5'3" to 5'10 on testosterone as well as a deeper voice and facial hair.
I did stop testosterone after moving out, but the damage was already done.

Family kept the "man up" pressure going most of my adult life, but something didn't fit well with me. You see I'm intersex, and physical exams always got it mentioned. I'm not very completely "at all" in the men's department and quite deformed. School locker rooms were always a challenge with breasts and lacking on the first floor.

My mid 50's brought more breast growth and of course heavy doses of the "pink fog". Manning up just made less sense everyday.

Questions as to bra wearing, then types that would work for me brought up repressed feelings from my past. I finally pressured my GP enough to order some blood work and an ultrasound.
The results answered all my questions, and now diagnosed with PMDS, and having a uterus and fallopian tubes inside made me realize my parents chose the wrong path for me. I never fit in properly because I was raised wrong.

Finally accepting myself became much easier, because I knew who I was physically. Transitioning (if your can call it that now) was my destiny.
That was and still is a struggle. I deal with it everyday. I just have to wake up and look in the mirror and tell myself. You are you!

Am I at 100% acceptance, not even close. But I am miles ahead of where I was last year.

Offline blad

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But in the end, the road to self acceptance was via a bra. At that point, it just made sense when nothing else did. 
I realized that I had a much greater acceptance of my breasts once I discovered wearing a bra, It just made sense to wear one, particularly with the benefits it provided. Those benefits where both the obvious physical support, in addition to a hard to describe mental state when you give in to the realization that you have breasts big enough to fill out bra cups like a woman. Somehow giving in to wearing a bra can make you feel good about yourself.

As Spock said; “When you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”
If the bra fits, wear it.

Offline Justagirl💃

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I was talking with the ladies here in the lobby at my apartment building when one of them asked, "can't they give you something to get rid of your breasts".

I of course told her it's not possible, what has grown has grown and is here to stay. I also told her I don't want my breasts to "go away", they are mine and part of my body. Most women don't want theirs to go away either.

Of course things switched to "but you are a 'guy'", and what does God think about a guy with boobs?"

My response, "if God didn't want me to have boobs I wouldn't have grown them".

Offline Justagirl💃

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We can't seek acceptance from others until we learn to accept ourselves. 😉

Offline 42CSurprise!

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Sometimes you gotta get offline from things to get online with yourself. I’m excited to be here again and see quite a few new usernames and hope all are having a great day and enjoying the weekend so far.
Welcome back.  Funny, I find myself remembering conversations on a crossdressing site I visited about men who had "purged" their collection of women's clothes, believing they were done with behavior that was both confusing and a bit shameful to them.  But invariably they returned to the behavior and created a new wardrobe.

Many of the men here are single, so the only consideration is how we come to acceptance for ourselves.  For husbands and fathers, it becomes a bit more complicated.  We know our lost friend Sophie was wearing brassieres when he was a teenager, so the woman who eventually married him knew exactly what she was getting... a man with breasts who wore a brassiere every day.  She may have been a bit surprised when "HE" chose to become a "SHE," though things worked out well for them.  From what other men who are in relationship have shared it appears that some wives/partners are not disturbed by the fact their partners have developed breasts, but I don't expect that response is universal.  Your road is a more complicated one than than others are following.  I can enjoy my brassiere clad breasts at home without announcing them to the world.  I don't share that part of my life with some of my close friends.  Even with those who know in broad outline my circumstances, I'm not discussing the matter regularly.  It is my journey and I take it exactly the way I wish.

Whatever you choose, it is good that you can talk about it with men who understand.  Your journey is your own.   You will find how best to share it with your family.  Low libido is not something that can be ignored if one is to sustain an intimate relationship.  Of course there are many ways to share intimacy with a partner.  Whatever is satisfying to the two people is worth embracing.  All the best to you on your journey of self-acceptance AND self-expression.

dudewithboobs

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Very true blad. Filling a bra isn’t as tough as some may make it to feel proud of the fact. Some overweight or those who don’t exercise etc may have some to pull in place. But to know my breasts are breasts and to feel my cups not only fill with my breasts but are getting snugger makes me feel great and confident. Where the thought of growing any more past a B to a C scared me a lot cause of personal life and relationships it now makes me happy and almost wishful. Beast part of waking up for some may be Folgers in their cup but for me it’s my breasts in theirs. 

42, thanks for the welcome. And so true. I can’t tell you how many bras I bought before I kept them around. Telling myself I don’t need them I’m fine I can’t openly wear them so what’s the point. I have probably spent 400 dollars on bras that are 7-15 dollars a piece and only have 7 to show for it lol. And when I began to wear panties and women’s jeans it was a why am I doing this this is stupid I feel foolish I’m not single I can’t just do this and expect people to believe it’s just more comfortable and not question everything. But after I got away from here a bit that’s exactly what I concluded. I am a guy I have a very soft chest and my preferred underwear and jeans are women’s so I wear them. It’s nothing sexual or kink or what have you and that’s what I needed to get away some for. To examine the whys. 
The low libido acne and lack of rising to occasion on many occasion lead to belief this is becoming a worsening issue of dominance but instead of running to the hills I just accept it is what it is. I’m happy to be here again and have a great group to talk with. Thanks all. 

Offline Gino

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I also left for a while to get more acclimated to the whole issue. Since I first came here I too appreciated the candid, thoughtful replies of the members here.

Offline oldguy

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I really enjoy this conversation.  I just posted on the Voyeur discussion thread, that I really value all the things that have helped me after my diagnosis.  I am married and my wife accepts my issue.  She used to only allow me to wear a bra inside the house.  Now, she is fine wherever.  I only wear a sports bra when shopping or dining. 

I have been exercising and lost 30lbs.  Of course this has only made them more prominent.  I was at the cabin that I own with my HS buddy.  5 days of 90+ degree temps.  Hiked 26.83 miles and biked 53 miles.  Needless to say, I needed a sports bra and it was like a wet t-shirt event.  So I told him everything.  He's a doctor and was cool with it.  Heck, at 73, knees, hips, etc., are a bigger issue.  He said he couldn't image riding down a trail with my rack.  Sometimes, telling someone is a matter of necessity.

Offline Justagirl💃

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Having a wife being ok with it and even supportive of it would be wonderful. I joke with myself on holidays thinking how funny it would be to get a Christmas fathers valentines etc gift of various bras like I was shopping and saw these and thought they would be a good fit and look good on you. Lol.
Kudos on the weight loss hope it’s eased up any issues in the joints and such.
Hmm, a cute bra as a holiday gift would be nice. 🤔

Offline HeldUp

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Glad you took time for yourself. There's been a lot of churn and breaks and returns. I haven't been on much and haven't posted in a while, but it's good to see a familiar name posting again. I'm glad you gained some clarity, too. It can be a lot, can't it?

Offline Johndoe1

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I haven't been posting a lot either. Just felt I had nothing to contribute.


 

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