Author Topic: Do you feel more or less conspicuous in a bra?  (Read 5660 times)

Offline Piglet

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Thank you, Busted, for your kind comment on my recent post.
It seems to me that there are 3 main garments which are generally regarded as being essentially feminine.  The one is a Bra of course, whilst the others are Tights and Heels. However, just to compare with the wearing of Bra's, I think a lot of people would be very surprised at just how many responsible men routinely wear tights.  
I do know that policemen are very grateful for the extra warmth they provide on long winter night shifts.  
Similarly with fishermen.  It can get mighty chilly sitting still on a riverbank all through the night!!   I have seen an article which appeared in a glossy fishing magazine which actually advised and encouraged nocturnal anglers to make use of a pair of tights to help with keeping warm.  
Also, I well remember being in a show put on by an amateur theatrical society which required every single male member of the cast to be wearing tights because it was supposed to be taking place in a desert and everyone needed to appear to be sunburnt.  By the second night of putting on the show, everybody had got so used to this state of affairs that it no longer excited comment. 
In other words, it is people who are enlightened, mature, adults who are really not bothered by what the general public might think about what they are wearing, -what the Philosophers call "The tyranny of opinion".
                                                              -Piglet.
« Last Edit: November 06, 2021, 05:02:33 PM by Piglet »

Offline Busty

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When I go braless, I feel I’m being too provocative, with my breasts jiggling and swaying and my nipples poking through my tops,  drawing attention to my bust from men and women alike.   

aboywithgirls

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As most of you know, I've been wearing a bra full time for over 30 years. I simply don't ever leave the house without a full support underwire bra. I sleep in a leisure bra and exercise in a full encapsulating sports bra. I'm a 36H UK in most of my bras which is a 36J US in a couple others.

Because of my breast size, I wear ladies tops, tanks, blouses and even many of my sweaters are from traditional women's clothing stores. I also don't have any men's underwear, pants or shorts because my hips and bottom are broad and Curvy, like a typical women. Torrid jeans are my go to for weekendso along with their "camp shirts".  I like Soma's bikini panties but I also, when I can, wear matching bra and panties.

I prefer women's clothing as it fits, feels and looks better. My tops fit my curves, my bottoms fit my curves. When I look better, I feels better.

Wear what fits and feels good!

Busted (and happy)

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Hi Piglet
All my life, decades before gyno I have tried to live by an aphorism that someone gave me. 
"I will not allow others to govern how I feel" 
I am certainly not going to allow they to govern what I wear! Especially when it is comfortable clothing that I need

Orb

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Piglet,
  Thank you for your comments.  I believe you are spot on.  There has been many comments on clothing choices and bottom line is they are garments made using different fabrics and colors in a broad spectrum of shapes.  Everyone shoppes and purchases clothing that fits their body and personality.  I have worn tights for years for the added layer for warmth.

  Like Busted and happy said, I will not allow others to dictate how I feel.  I would also say no one is living in my head rent free.
I'm me.  And I will continue to me.

Offline Johndoe1

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It has taken me years but I too have moved on to not caring. Life is too short.
Womanhood is not defined by breasts, and breasts are not indicative of womanhood. - Melissa Fabello

Orb

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It has taken me years but I too have moved on to not caring. Life is too short.
I'm glad you said that.  Not glad that it took you years but, it is reassuring that I'm not alone in the time it took to get there.  I have heard so many say I don't care what others say or think.  What isn't said is the time it took to get to that point.  Learning to live with yourself when society reminds us all daily how to look,dress feel and act.
 
Time!
 
  Give yourselves the time it takes and allow it to happen.  Self acceptance is critical, then the not caring what others think will come.

Offline gyneco_jason

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It has taken me years but I too have moved on to not caring. Life is too short.
I'm glad you said that.  Not glad that it took you years but, it is reassuring that I'm not alone in the time it took to get there.  I have heard so many say I don't care what others say or think.  What isn't said is the time it took to get to that point.  Learning to live with yourself when society reminds us all daily how to look,dress feel and act.
 
Time!
 
  Give yourselves the time it takes and allow it to happen.  Self acceptance is critical, then the not caring what others think will come.
Wait. People should care about what other people think. It's important to learn how to ignore people who are just trying to torment you, but let's not expand that to the extreme of not caring what anyone thinks, even those who might be looking out for our best interests. People throw around the phrase "I don't care what anyone thinks" as if it's unquestionably a good attitude to have. I'm not so sure. You can't grow as a person if you aren't willing to listen to others and accept feedback with grace.

Busted (and happy)

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Gyneco Jason please don't take this personally, I get where you are coming from and realise we all all have different views on coping. 

"Not caring what others think" is not, as I understand it being used here and elsewhere on this site is not the same as not listening to others.
It is impossible to ignore the wealth of advice given by individuals and society at large often bordering on attempts to impose conformity to their norms because it makes them more comfortable.
Yes we should listened, I have listened but having listened I have come to a decision that clothes (only fabric) are supposed to be functional and are all asexual.Bras being the mainstream conversation on here. 
I have listened, I have thought, I have found a pattern of clothing that serves its function well and is comfortable. 
So, bottom line in this forum's context, unapologetically "I do not care what others think". I am sorry it they do not understand or choose to be offended. That is their problem. In the case of gynecomastia they have a need to listen more than pass "advice" to shore up the boundaries of their own comfort zones. 
End of rant. 


Offline Johndoe1

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Wait. People should care about what other people think. It's important to learn how to ignore people who are just trying to torment you, but let's not expand that to the extreme of not caring what anyone thinks, even those who might be looking out for our best interests. People throw around the phrase "I don't care what anyone thinks" as if it's unquestionably a good attitude to have. I'm not so sure. You can't grow as a person if you aren't willing to listen to others and accept feedback with grace.
There is a difference between not caring what ANYONE thinks and not caring what PEOPLE think. For people I don't know nor will only meet one time, their opinion doesn't really matter to me at this point and those are the people who used to live rent free in my head and drove decisions that were not to my advantage. I no longer care what they think. I do have several female friends who I do care what they think and take their advice on what works for my appearance dealing with my chest. I deal with many of the same issues they do so why not listen to what they have to say? I trust them and know they have my best interest. Those people I do care what they think.

Orb

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I don't want to beat a dead horse here but I wanted Gyneco_Jason to know I hear what he's saying.  To be a good citizen we need to care about others.  Including looking out for their best interest, listening to them and caring for them.  I also feel Busted (and Happy) and Johndoe 1 said it quite well.  Listening to those that have my best interest in mind is one thing, caring how someone I pass is "judging" me, no.  I do care, as I feel most do here, about doing things that are off pudding to others and will not in turn do things offensive to them.  

Offline Ed325

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I'm between an A and B cup. They don't move much. I don't think I need to wear a bra. I did try on one of my wife's bras out of curiosity, and the added projection made my breasts more noticeable. I'm not ready to go in public like that yet. I definitely would feel more conspicuous. But someday I may have to. For the last year and a half, I have needed to take medicine for a chronic stomach condition, and I am quite sure it is making my breasts grow larger.

Busted (and happy)

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Ed
Take life as it comes. Your breasts will let you know when they need support and/or immobilisation.
I understand that shape wise bra wearing makes a sudden difference. Just be aware that unduly delaying can make it harder for yourself later when a bra will make  an even more dramatic difference - just something to think about.
Personally I have always been glad that I made the choice earlier rather than later

Offline blad

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I'm between an A and B cup. They don't move much. I don't think I need to wear a bra. I did try on one of my wife's bras out of curiosity, and the added projection made my breasts more noticeable. I'm not ready to go in public like that yet. I definitely would feel more conspicuous. But someday I may have to. For the last year and a half, I have needed to take medicine for a chronic stomach condition, and I am quite sure it is making my breasts grow larger.
The right bra type and size will not necessarily add any further projection that a random bra from your wife's selection made you feel.
If the bra fits, wear it.

Offline Johndoe1

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Ed, there are so many different bra styles and types, you can find a bra that will support and contain without adding undue projection. I would recommend going with either a soft cup (no underwire) or an unlined bra (no padding in the cup, just cloth). In both cases you get just support and containment without padding or shaping that would embellish what you have.

The best thing to do is find out what shape your breasts are and buy bras that work with that shape. Not all bras are designed the same since no two breasts are the same shape or size. Most male breasts are wideset, meaning little to no cleavage due to the breasts sitting apart due to the larger male chest. They are also shallow meaning most of the tissue being below the nipple looking kind of like a tear drop. Plunge style and demi cup bras work well with this type breast. These would be a good starting point if you are considering support using a traditional bra. Something else to remember is you want the cup to be smooth when supporting. You also don't want gaping of the cup and if you have an underwire, the gore, the bridge piece between the cups sits firmly on the sternum. Soft cup bras will not. The bra should not be overtly obvious. It is intended to fit as second skin for the best support and containment.


 

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