Author Topic: Do you feel more or less conspicuous in a bra?  (Read 5600 times)

Offline SideSet

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Yes, some GI meds are known to do that.  So you are smart to anticipate continued development.  Good that you have contemplated wearing and already tried on a bra. Setting aside how the bra looked on you, how did it feel?  What size bra?  Did your wife know?  What has she said about you developing breasts?

Offline Ed325

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Yes, some GI meds are known to do that.  So you are smart to anticipate continued development.  Good that you have contemplated wearing and already tried on a bra. Setting aside how the bra looked on you, how did it feel?  What size bra?  Did your wife know?  What has she said about you developing breasts?
I found that the shaping and support of the bra felt good, even though the cups were too large. She wears a 42C. I would do better with a 42B, or maybe even a 40B.
Right now, I wear loose fitting shirts with no bra, and my boobs are not big enough to be noticeable. The situation is okay for now. I do not want them to be noticed. When I tried wearing a bra under my shirt, I could definitely see well defined boobs.
My wife does not know that I tried on her bra. We haven't talked about my developing breasts, although I can tell that she has noticed by the way she stares at my chest sometimes.
My wife and I have a great physical attraction for each other. I'm afraid that if I started wearing a bra, it would be a big turn-off for her. For that reason, I'm very reluctant to even mention the possibility of me wearing a bra to her.

Offline brock123

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This position may ultimately end up being counter-productive to your cause.  If your wife cannot accept that you might be better off in a bra, she's (sorry) probably shallow enough that she's not considering your position here.  This isn't a slight, I've been in the same position for 2 years at this point trying to figure out what to do about it.  For me, I was honest and communicative, and she actually helped me until the day she hugged me and felt something other than my button-down shirt "in play".

To each their own, I'm not certain any external advice or experience information would help you in your unique situation, but I hope you all the best.

Offline SideSet

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 As you said, your wife has obviously noticed your breast development. If you are around a B cup, certainly no way she would not. Maybe you should initiate a conversation about your growing breasts?

Offline Goodnplenty

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Next time you come back from the doctor, you could say that the doctor said something about your breasts growing.   Tell her that the doctor noticed the size they had grown to, that growth would most likely continue, that a lot of his other patients don't like the movement /sensitivity/ chafing, etc and that other patients had got relief from using a bra.  Come at it from a problem solving point of view and this disinterested third party (the doctor) gave you a solution, make the doctor the bad guy.

Offline Piglet

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It's a shame but I have to say that it seems to me to be rather understandable, and only to be expected, that wives and significant others will find it difficult to know how to respond when their life's partner discover they need to make use of bras.  
Just turn the thing on it's head;  
I'm sure I speak for many chaps when I say that I absolutely adore the feminine aspects of my wife.  Everything about her female nature delights me and makes her endlessly desirable.  However, if by some strange mischance she started taking on male attributes such as maybe starting to grow a beard, or lost her beautiful lilting voice or possibly her curves then obviously that would make it a tad more difficult for me to find her so endlessly attractive.  I do wonder if it wouldn't perhaps begin to feel just a little bit like trying to love and be with another man?
Sorry to be so negative.  I mean, we here on this site have all got enough to be coping with, quite apart from having to deal with coldness and intolerance from those who are most important in our lives. 
Having said that though, people do manage this thing. Consider for instance how one person in a marriage can fall gravely ill and the partner instantly and unquestioningly rolls up their sleeves and starts nursing and supporting and so on.  The love doesn't evaporate just because the physical situation has changed. 
The only difference between that sort of thing and our situation, it seems to me, is that it is a relatively common happening in society for people to look after and care for each other in the way I have described, whereas what we are trying to explore here on this website is kept fiercely under wraps.  I don't know why though.  After all, it's not such a terrible thing is it?!  People don't seem to have any difficulty embracing and discussing serious unpleasant diseases and such like, so why all the cloak and daggers with Gynae?? 
If only this condition and its associated problems could be brought out more into the public domain and into general awareness then I think that would go a long way towards  people accepting that this is just one of those things that happens, is not uncommon, and need not be a big deal.  Why can't it be discussed on television or radio for instance?  Maybe on a T.V. programme like 'loose Women'?  I bet those ladies would be very surprised to discover just how many men actually have this condition.
Finally, perhaps the best way to go about trying to introduce the lady in your life to your new bra-wearing need, would be to ask her advice?  After all, most ladies absolutely love clothes and perhaps if you invited her to give advice, and comment about styles and fit and so on, she would become so enthusiastic about that, she would quite warm to the whole idea?  It would take courage but as I said before, we who are travelling this road are already displaying a great deal of that emotion.
                                                     Piglet

Offline blad

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When wives realize it is not a fetish but a medical condition then their acceptance may be easier. You can not really be blamed or shunned for something beyond your control. 
If the bra fits, wear it.

Busted (and happy)

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blad
In the interest of accuracy gynecomastia is not  in itself  a "medical condition".  It is part of the great continuum of normal across both sexes.

There are few, very few occasions where it is a symptom of something underlying and it is wise to exclude this possibility. Once this is done we do not have a "condition", just breasts - same as the ladies and it is totally NORMAL!
We are not afflicted, victims, patients, sufferers etc etc - Just part of the great variety that makes up the species homo sapiens.
IMO it does ourselves and our cause no good to wallow in self pity.
Like all facts that are uncomfortable, for some it is a difficult and a long journey

Offline SideSet

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I think piglet has it exactly right. 

Even if a wife or GF accepts her partner’s growing breasts and agrees he needs to start wearing a bra for all the reasons a woman does  and she may even enjoy teaching him about bras and helping him find and wear the bras that work best for him,  almost certain that she will start to find him more womanly, also, and the relationship morph to something more like BFF’s. 

Offline blad

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blad
In the interest of accuracy gynecomastia is not  in itself  a "medical condition".  It is part of the great continuum of normal across both sexes.

There are few, very few occasions where it is a symptom of something underlying and it is wise to exclude this possibility. Once this is done we do not have a "condition", just breasts - same as the ladies and it is totally NORMAL!
We are not afflicted, victims, patients, sufferers etc etc - Just part of the great variety that makes up the species homo sapiens.
IMO it does ourselves and our cause no good to wallow in self pity.
Like all facts that are uncomfortable, for some it is a difficult and a long journey
Call it a physiologic condition or what ever label you like, but don't miss the point I am making over semantics. If a wife truly recognizes that it is a "condition" beyond our control then ideally they should treat it with compassion of any other "malady" effecting their spouse. It is typically not a choice to have breasts in the first place, even if we have come to accept them and deal with them on a pragmatic level. 

Busted (and happy)

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blad
Some points I agree with. Our opinions differ and that is fine.
My point was that misuse of words which have specific medical meanings only leads to misunderstanding rather than the understanding and compassion that you (and I) crave for those of us have larger than average breasts.

Offline Busty

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Be you. And wear a bra for comfort and appearance 

Offline Piglet

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Something nice for Christmas;
By way of having something cheerful to share for the festive season, I thought you might like to read something of my recent shopping expedition for a bra or two, in the first week of December. 
I like the M&S underwired sports style best.  I find they hold the breast tissue in place both underneath and side to side.  They're not made to accentuate the breasts but rather keep them under control by hugging them close to the chest wall which, of course, tends to make Gynecomastia less obvious or noticeable.   As well as that, the material used in their manufacture is designed to absorb sweat because they are meant to be used for sports. For me they seem to tick all the boxes.
Having owned a few such bras in recent years, it was no trouble to cut the label off one and save it for this shopping expedition, and to take it along for guidance and thereby be sure of finding the correct item.  Obviously every last bit of information I needed would be on that old label.
Anyway, I made my way into the appropriate department in a large city centre M&S store. There were various customers coming and going and looking round, and 2 assistants standing round.  Now I must have been in that area for 20 minutes or more, searching for what I wanted, but, you know, at no point did I feel at all out of place or self-conscious.  Nobody stared at me, nobody gave me a questioning look, neither the assistants nor the other customers, and as time went on I began to feel more and more relaxed about where I was and what I was doing. I might just as well have been buying a pair of socks or a tie for all the effect I was having.  
After searching for quite a time I couldn't find what I was looking for, so went over and asked one of the assistants.  This young lady couldn't have been more helpful. We were soon enjoying cheerful conversation and having a laugh while she was checking through the company's stocks on her mobile 'phone.  Eventually she led me over to a stand displaying said sports bras, and between us we searched through to find the exact item. Once more, -no embarrassment, no awkwardness, no questioning looks, -it was all just a straightforward enjoyable little experience. In fact I rather got the impression that she was not only a little bit pleased to be dealing with a male customer for a change, but a male who could get seriously involved in buying items of lingerie and not be unduly bothered by that.
In the end, we couldn't find what I was after so she said to try again in the near future. While she was saying this she held up one of the other bras of the same type so I could have a good look at it, and said "now you can see what to look for, so will know for next time".  Again.........no embarrassment, no awkwardness, no problem.
Even though I came away empty handed I felt quite cheered up by how nicely it had all gone, and how accepting everyone had been of me.  I would certainly have no hesitation in shopping there again now, and would thoroughly recommend any of the readers here to be bold and visit their local M&S.   I think you would be pleasantly surprised. 
                Season's greetings;
                       Piglet;   :)   











 
 





Offline SideSet

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What a lovely young lady.  I hope you do as she suggested and go back there soon to buy yourself a bra. 


 

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