Males Staying Males

[Justagirl💃]

I have been both male and female all my life  so for me I'm not sure what I would transition to.  But I do know if I was offered surgery too remove my external organ and his 2 very tiny friends and just be a smooth "Ken doll", I would do it in a heartbeat! I have lived the last 30 years tucked and the last 10 tucked 24/7. It has been the only way I have been able to cope. I have come to understand that I have too many people that expect dad, granddad and great granddad to be just that, a man! Not to mention a wife that as she told me " I'm not a Lesbian, but I think you are". So we live as roommates because for her sex with me is disgusting and as a man I can no longer make love in a way she wants.

This was my choice to be all those things and I owe it to them to try, but it can be hard sometimes when you just want to wear something pretty and be yourself.

OK, I guess I do wish I had a prettier feminine body.

Charli 💕

I had an interesting ER visit for the last couple days.
Firstly, they made me get into a gown, and that meant the removal of my bra.
At least they were very good at keeping my breasts covered up. 😉

The interesting part was the external catheter that they decided I needed to wear. I'm physically intersex, and I don't have one of those for a condom catheter. They tried an air wick (female catheter) and it really didn't fit either. 😳
!

A bag catheter was taped to me but did nothing. 😲

I'm not physically built for any of the options it seems. 🤭 The experience was quite messy

I haven't transitioned into anything, I just came home to 'who I am'. Physically I straddle the fence, but the 'real me' has always been female💃, even in boy-mode.

Charli, at least your wife stayed around. That in itself is a blessing.
I understand because my wife couldn't stay around as soon as boy-mode was no longer an option.
We lived for years in a very much 'lesbian' relationship (behind closed doors), but she was determined to not let the outside world judge her.

[Evolver]

I've been a bit reluctant to join this conversation until now, and truth be known, I'm only doing so because my inhibitions are temporarily lowered.   So, this will be a ramble.

Reading through this thread, there's a bit to unpack. Men getting implants? How absurd! My wife sometimes complains about her boobs and jokingly says she'll get them chopped off. "I'll have them!" I normally reply. "You're welcome to them!" she will say.

We're all unique even if we have things in common. I absolutely love being me, knowing that I am just a tiny piece of cotton of my own unique color and texture, which makes up the rich tapestry of life. We're all passengers on the same spaceship. Alpha males, girly men, tomboys, ladies as opposed to women, gay, straight, either, neither...and then there is the gender continuum (thanks 42C) with dozens of variations. For the record, I think that the two quotes from another forum that were cited at the top of this thread are not diametrically opposed, but complimentary! I agree with both of them! Commenting on those two quotes from that other forum - the first correctly bemoans the fact that the world typically sees men with breasts as not manly, also due to the fact that rampant E compels such men to display feminine traits. The second correctly points out that the situation is not binary.

Maybe I'm uniquerer... I've thought of implants in a jocular fashion, but I have no issue with me just being me. I've thought of taking E to satisfy my inner woman, but lack the balls to do so...but I have balls that still dominate me. I would LOVE to wake up one morning with a woman's body, but that's just fantasy.

The best way I can describe myself, in the absence of professional diagnosis, is male, gender non-conforming, and loving it. On another forum I describe myself as bi-gender. At my core, I am male, but my veneers of inner woman around that core have a huge influence, and my thin outer layer of maleness (despite some feminine influence) enable me to not be misgendered in real life. I have a deep voice and don't seek a feminine name. I will remain male but carry a limp wrist, aggressively drive my relic muscle car, ogle fashion catalogs, chop wood, love the feeling of stockings, act boorishly at a football game, wear matching panties and bras, go out drinking with the boys, squat to piss.

Re-adressing those two quotes - I'm now leaning more to aligning myself with the second. From the first, " Manly-manly alpha male men do not want boobs." Yeah, but they want pecs!

[Johndoe1]

Evolver, I don't think you are alone in how you view yourself. I suspect there is a segment of folks here that have a similar view of themselves. I too have found that while I could never pass as a woman, too many male physical features, my female features are just as prevalent and demand some time as well. As I am typing this, I am wearing a bra (to support my bust), panties (fit and less bulk), cotton leggings (warmth and comfort), Ugg boots (in men's size, warmth), knee high stockings (warmth) and a layering cotton tank (warmth) and an extra long sleeve tunic cotton top for warmth and as well as comfort and modesty covering the hips of the leggings and curled up on the couch with a large cup of coffee. Some would call that a "cute feminine look." I just call it, something to keep me warm and be comfortable in. Not a look I would go out in public in, but it still makes my feminine side happy and is damn comfortable and toasty. I see why women enjoy wearing this look. And TBH, so do I. Why can't we get the same benefit and comfort?

[gotgyne]

My wife sometimes complains about her boobs and jokingly says she'll get them chopped off.

A former girlfriend of mine was the same. She had large breasts and didn't like it at all to wear bras. She often told me she would be lucky if she could get them removed. Some decades ago this was quite impossible without a cancer diagnosis. Meanwhile such a woman only needs to explain that she wants to transition and likes to get a bilateral mastectomy for this reason. Then she can stop the process. Breasts gone.

[gotgyne]

Evolver, I don't think you are alone in how you view yourself. I suspect there is a segment of folks here that have a similar view of themselves. I too have found that while I could never pass as a woman, too many male physical features, my female features are just as prevalent and demand some time as well. As I am typing this, I am wearing a bra (to support my bust), panties (fit and less bulk), cotton leggings (warmth and comfort), Ugg boots (in men's size, warmth), knee high stockings (warmth) and a layering cotton tank (warmth) and an extra long sleeve tunic cotton top for warmth and as well as comfort and modesty covering the hips of the leggings and curled up on the couch with a large cup of coffee. Some would call that a "cute feminine look." I just call it, something to keep me warm and be comfortable in. Not a look I would go out in public in, but it still makes my feminine side happy and is damn comfortable and toasty. I see why women enjoy wearing this look. And TBH, so do I. Why can't we get the same benefit and comfort?

During winter in the evening at home I put off my jeans and wore a warm long pullover or long shirt with support pantyhose. My parents had no objections as I needed the hose for my legs. It was much more comfortable without the sturdy jeans. Until today I do the same often with my compresssion pantyhose.

[42CSurprise!]

This website is getting ever more REAL... as we talk about more intimate aspects of this journey as men with breasts.  It has taken me a long time to appreciate how varied and unique we are as humans.  We've been fed fantasies about what it means to be a man or woman, husband or wife.  Every family puts on a show of normality when it is out and about AND expects members to toe to the line.  But life is much more complicated than that.  Our gender confusion is simply one more element in a complex world.  Of course, we become fixated on the differences and can easily arrive at shame... which is why this side of this website and other websites that touch on these matters are so important.  We're not alone with any of it.  And NOW we're taking a deeper dive into how it all affects our lives.  I really appreciate the honesty.  This is how we come at last to full acceptance of who we are and how we live our lives.  Deep respect!

[gotgyne]

This website is getting ever more REAL... as we talk about more intimate aspects of this journey as men with breasts.  It has taken me a long time to appreciate how varied and unique we are as humans.  We've been fed fantasies about what it means to be a man or woman, husband or wife.  Every family puts on a show of normality when it is out and about AND expects members to toe to the line.  But life is much more complicated than that.  Our gender confusion is simply one more element in a complex world.  Of course, we become fixated on the differences and can easily arrive at shame... which is why this side of this website and other websites that touch on these matters are so important.  We're not alone with any of it.  And NOW we're taking a deeper dive into how it all affects our lives.  I really appreciate the honesty.  This is how we come at last to full acceptance of who we are and how we live our lives.  Deep respect!

To me it seems more and more that our breasts are only the visible surface of the whole complex. Especially the fact that we love them or even want them bigger shows that there are much more hormonal and psychological implications.
At first I was sceptical if discussing these topics and our feelings could be part of this forum, but for some time I'm glad that they can be discussed here openly.

[42CSurprise!]

To me it seems more and more that our breasts are only the visible surface of the whole complex. Especially the fact that we love them or even want them bigger shows that there are much more hormonal and psychological implications.
At first I was sceptical if discussing these topics and our feelings could be part of this forum, but for some time I'm glad that they can be discussed here openly.

I'm not sure it is accurate to say for all of us that we love them or even want them bigger.  Some of us do but others not.  That is another facet of this experience.  Honestly, as I sit typing this... wearing the brassiere that allows my breasts to thrive, I don't know that I want larger breasts.  And I still carry the belief that had I been given a more masculine body it might have made life easier for me.  Contrasting that is the fantasy of what it might be like to be a voluptuous woman.  I guess this is all part of my own confusion about both gender and sexual orientation... all of which is rooted in childhood trauma.

What is clear, is the we're expanding the conversation so that whatever a man's response is to the reality of breasts... there is room to discuss it here.  So we have Sophie who transitioned, Birdie who was born into an intersex body and a whole bunch of men whose bodies are clearly male but with varied degrees of breast development more often associated with women's bodies.  We are all of the above.  And we are doing our best to embrace the life we're living.  Good for us!

[gotgyne]

To me it seems more and more that our breasts are only the visible surface of the whole complex. Especially the fact that we love them or even want them bigger shows that there are much more hormonal and psychological implications.
At first I was sceptical if discussing these topics and our feelings could be part of this forum, but for some time I'm glad that they can be discussed here openly.

I'm not sure it is accurate to say for all of us that we love them or even want them bigger.  Some of us do but others not.  That is another facet of this experience.  Honestly, as I sit typing this... wearing the brassiere that allows my breasts to thrive, I don't know that I want larger breasts.  And I still carry the belief that had I been given a more masculine body it might have made life easier for me.  Contrasting that is the fantasy of what it might be like to be a voluptuous woman.  I guess this is all part of my own confusion about both gender and sexual orientation... all of which is rooted in childhood trauma.

What is clear, is the we're expanding the conversation so that whatever a man's response is to the reality of breasts... there is room to discuss it here.  So we have Sophie who transitioned, Birdie who was born into an intersex body and a whole bunch of men whose bodies are clearly male but with varied degrees of breast development more often associated with women's bodies.  We are all of the above.  And we are doing our best to embrace the life we're living.  Good for us!

This is right. Better I should have written "... the fact, that some of us love them or even want them bigger ..." Of course there is no "one size fits all", as all of us are unique.

[Johndoe1]

I was just reading an article about women's clothes and the problems they can create and bras were mention. There was one statement made that I believe is completely true, but can be extended to men with gynecomastia who choose to wear bras as well. "The amount of support that a woman can get from a bra is not explainable. It is something that only women understand. Keep in mind that a bra can often be less supportive if it is not the right fit. That is not the only thing making them uncomfortable; they also have wiring, which sometimes sticks out and can make wearing bras a pain." I would say any one of us who have substantial size breast and have been wearing a bra for any length of time for support and containment and comfort completely understand that statement. It's not a women's only problem, but anyone with breasts problem. It is our problem too. Bras are a product of the saints and the devils. When they work they are glorious. When they don't, they are torture. To anyone who has never experienced the bliss one second, torture the next, you can't explain it. But I won't go anywhere without mine on.

[gotgyne]

One problem is that women with large breasts who complain about bras, often don't wear a bra with a snug fit of the band. The band must support the breasts but not the straps. So if most of the weight is hanging on the straps it causes neck and shoulder pain. What I am feeling is, that despite a snug fit which is a blessing throughout the day, the bra becomes uncomfortable at night. As many women I'm glad that I can put off my bra before going to sleep. I'd never sleep with a bra.

[Johndoe1]

One problem is that women with large breasts who complain about bras, often don't wear a bra with a snug fit of the band. The band must support the breasts but not the straps. So if most of the weight is hanging on the straps it causes neck and shoulder pain. What I am feeling is, that despite a snug fit which is a blessing throughout the day, the bra becomes uncomfortable at night. As many women I'm glad that I can put off my bra before going to sleep. I'd never sleep with a bra.

It's said that 80% of women wear the wrong size bra. My fitter has confirmed that is pretty true. But even a perfectly fitting bra can become uncomfortable at times. It's a tight fitting garment around the chest that if tight enough can effect breathing. Of course if it's effecting your breathing, your bra is WAY too small! 

It's never recommended to sleep in a regular bra, underwire or not. That's why they make sleep/leisure bras that really don't support but contain your bust when horizontal. Regular bras are not built to support when horizontal and why they are so uncomfortable when horizontal but perfectly fine when vertical. 

[42CSurprise!]

I've said a number of times that I don't "need" to wear a brassiere every day despite the fact I have quite prominent breasts but I am finding myself wearing one more often... doubtless because of conversations on this side of the website.  Yesterday I wore a brassiere all day and my body had few complaints.  It is fascinating how two brassiere styles from the same manufacturer AND the same name can be so different.  I've bought many brassieres from Bali called Plunge into Comfort but they come in two slightly different styles.  Most of the photos I've shared have been one style called a Keyhole brassiere.

https://www.balibras.com/lilyette-reg-by-bali-reg-plunge-into-comfort-keyhole-minimizer-reg-bra.html

That brassiere has a band size no larger than 42 inches.  The C cups fit my breasts beautifully, but I need an extender for the band and a strap to hold the straps in place.  The cups conform wonderfully to my breasts.  The second style is not designated a keyhole brassiere and the cups have a different fabric.  But the 42C brassiere fits without an extender or strap to hold the straps in place.  This is the brassiere I wore all day yesterday and am wearing at the moment.  Although the brassiere is called a minimizer the cups don't compress my breasts in the same way as the other style which makes them much more prominent in my turtleneck.  I like the look and the feel... Brassiere sizes are a crapshoot.  I understand the recommendation to go for a fitting, but I'm buying very nice brassieres for around $20 and feel I can afford to experiment at bit.  Heading to a shop for a fitting I would be paying quite a bit more.  Perhaps if I felt the need to wear a brassiere all day every day I'd be willing to spend a bit more money for a good look and for comfort.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE-z984VBB4&t=18s

[taxmapper]

As some know I had not been feeling super good over the past several days. 
That has mostly passed, but yesterday I had a nasty experience and I had to take off the bra because of the constriction of the band was causing me shortness of breath. 

That specific bra did not hurt before, this was something to do with the epizootics crawling around in me right now. 
But this is day two w/o a bra and I feel it. 

I am also popping out a bit more due tot he slight weight loss and the tiny bit the ol gut fell in size. 

There is something to be said about over constriction of the ribcage. 
People have to remember that coursets were the norm prior to the brazier and the support came from underneath, not over the shoulder. 
But the constriction as much the same. 


The rib cage is designed to expand and contract with breath and any constriction causes a constriction of the diaphragm in an unnatural way. 

[Evolver]

I would like them to be big enough that if I go without a bra, people would notice that I need one.

I know exactly what you mean! But I'd like to give you an example of why letting things go that far that wouldn't be such a great idea. It's better if people don't notice!

A few months ago, I spotted a couple at the mall, probably in their late 60's/early 70's. He was wearing a t-shirt three sizes too big and was waking all hunched over in attempt to hide his significant gynecomastia. In effect, all he was doing was allowing his pendulous boobs to bang into each other with every step! He was unique in that his boobs were obviously narrow set and pendulous, but it was also obvious that he wasn't the type of person to consider containing them. If only he had worn a bra and an appropriately sized t-shirt, no-one would have actually noticed that he had boobs. Instead, he was actually drawing attention to himself, in an unflattering way. His loss.