Author Topic: How to hide them?  (Read 9942 times)

Jay55

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See Bummed? No need to worry about your chest. You need to refocus the worry on the fact that you're beginning to look your age! Seriously, you don't need to worry about either. As they say, we're our own worst critic.

rrr

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Well, I definitely agree that we're our own worst critics, and I am very guilty of it. I have always been happy with my body, and used to have a decent, normal male chest. Compared to what I used to have, the change is dramatic. Last fall, as I was approaching A-cup, my wife was telling me I was soon going to need a bra (joking around) since she thought I was for sure an A-cup. So yeah, the change is very obvious to me and my family, so I am self-conscious of it.

Granted, "out in the world", maybe most people won't notice - yet. I know they are still growing, and I guess that is my main concern. I have said in a previous post that they are still mostly hideable through poor posture or clothing, but that will not be the case if I reach C or more.

For the time being, I guess I will try to ignore them and live life, and see what happens. I know personally, if I saw a thin/normal guy with female boobs, I would at least do a double-take, as I have never seen one before - and I have been paying much more attention over the last year. Maybe I will see one this summer, but based on the last year, I doubt it.

I reiterate, this forum is a great resource for us that are "blessed".

My last comment is that I feel the endo I saw was an idiot. I was thinking about it last night. I was diagnosed as Tanner Stage 3 idiopathic gynecomastia. All test results came back normal, yet his suggestion was to put me on an estrogen blocker. 2 things that strike me as idiotic, 1) my estrogen level was NORMAL, so why block it, since we all need it, and 2) if it's idiopathic, it means there is no known cause, so why is he trying to treat it?

B (still not Cher)

hammer

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I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be Cher! I like the idea of embracing my age and that's what Jamie Lee Curtis is doing. To me that makes more sence, why be ashame of who you are, be proud!

B, don't develop poor posture thinking that will not hide breast! I'll quote my friend Paa_Paw here and tell that most can tell what your doing from across a Mall and I'll tell you as someone with a really bad back,  DON'T DO IT!

Try to develop my aditude, I am who I am and if someone can't accept that, screw them! Remember, you didn't go out of your way to grow those breast, so it's their problem not yours! Maybe God wanted you have them, heck I don't know, but it's no reason to dislike you/or me or any of us!

Now, I'm not saying walk around and show them off, but on the other hand, don't allow them to make you feel ashame, or less of a man or any other feelings that you or any of us may have!


Bob

Offline Dr. Elliot Jacobs

  • Elliot W. Jacobs, MD, FACS
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Hey guy, I am a New Yorker and originally from Brooklyn.  We say" "Fugeddaboutit" all in one breath.

Dr Jacobs
Dr. Jacobs 
Certified: American Board of Plastic Surgery
Fellow: American College of Surgeons
Practice sub-specialty in Gynecomastia Surgery
4800 North Federal Highway
Boca Raton, Florida 33431
561  367 9101
Email:  dr.j@elliotjacobsmd.com
Website:  http://www.gynecomastiasurgery.com
Website:  http://www.gynecomastianewyork.c

hammer

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Hey guy, I am a New Yorker and originally from Brooklyn.  We say" "Fugeddaboutit" all in one breath.

Dr Jacobs

And as someone who served in the Navy and had the pleasure to get to know people from all walks of life!
 I can hear that coming right out of your mouth doc!

Of coarse, me being from Minnesota, I have no accent! Lol

rrr

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Hammer said:

Of coarse, me being from Minnesota, I have no accent! Lol

Ya hey dare hoser, up north, eh?

Of course you don't....

:-P

Offline expedient-traveller

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Sorry Doc, I am from the mid-west and we always spell things in the Kings English. I do agree with you that your way of saying it is the correct way to say and spell it.

Offline Dr. Elliot Jacobs

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That's OK -- just fuggedaboutit.   ;)

Dr Jacobs

Offline expedient-traveller

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Offline toaddhall

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                                           RIGHT ON ALCHEMIST!
 EVERYONE has breasts and they're different sizes and shapes. Your problem is in your head in that you --like I spent years worrying also. I live near the beach and see many guys and many have bigger than average breasts (btw MEGACOMASTIA--big breasts is defined as larger breasts than average! With the population tending toward obesity, we tend to have too much Estrodile which causes not just our breasts to grow but more importantly our cognition to suffer, "love handles" and other fat around your belt line, Osteoporosis, Atrial Fibrillation and low or loss of libido and ED!
I have 36-B's and go to the Y every other day and NO ONE even notices my breasts much less comments! There I regularly see other guys with bigger than average breasts also--so what! If the world gives you lemons, make lemonade!

Offline Alchemist

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Hi Toaddhall,

Some have lemons, some oranges, then come grapefruits, cantaloupes (halves anyway).  I saw a woman with watermelon sized breasts trying to breast feed.  She had to have help, her arms were not long enough to hold the baby to her nipple and the nipple and areola were stretched tight and the infant had a difficult time latching on. I don't know what kind of heavy duty bra would be needed for those.  A pair of half cantaloupes on your chest attracts more attention than a lemon.  Then there are the sweet oh honey, do.

People notice and ignore or ignore and don't notice.  Those that do notice are often about their own insecurities.  And some of the larger breasted guys will attract far more attention than is preferred.  And none of it matters.  Only a persons own fear makes it matter. 

And Bummed, the only alternative to aging is to die sooner.  Otherwise everything other than your feet gets closer to the ground.   

And yes, as long as your stomach isn't sticking out farther then the breasts, the cloth drapes in that fashion unless one wears a more form fitting shirt.  I was always HOT and miserable in the summer.  I moved from the rust belt to the mountain and desert west because of the heat and humidity where I came from.  Wearing multiple layers of shirts to hide breasts or compression garments is grossly uncomfortable and hot.  And loose shirts hang off whatever sticks out the most as I found out when I got my metabolism straightened out.  You didn't grow up with them and go through Jr High hell. Don't create trauma for yourself.  Adopt "What, me worry?" and ignore their growth.  Don't give up your life because of fear of other people's imagined thoughts or even real verbal expressions.  Nobody is going to take any part of your life away because of breasts but you can throw it away.

At 67 my advice is live your life, do what want and don't give up anything because of breasts.  Body perfection is a temporary illusion at best and out of reach for 99% of everybody.  I can't begin to tell you what a perfect body is but my list would start with good health and everything working.  How things look is so far down the list

Slouching will not hide your breasts, but merely advertise that you are hiding them, visible from "across the mall" as somebody said.  So are the multilayer and compression vest looks.  They advertise from a distance that guys are hiding their breasts.  Good luck and have fun.

rrr

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Hi Alchemist,

You mention "body perfection", and honestly, that is never something I have worried about. I have seen some guys posting here that may be striving for it (dedicated to working out, getting surgery for puffy nipples, etc.), but it's definitely not me. The extent I have gone to regarding my body is no more than eating decently and maintaining a healthy weight.

I have always been content to fit into the category of a normal weight, normal guy (more accurately 70's normal - before the obesity epidemic), so I am not one normally concerned with fitting in or looking GQ. I'm actually quite happy blending in and being ignored as background noise.

A small, normal weight guy with boobs is not going to blend in, and is not normal looking. An overweight guy with moobs on the other hand, is pretty common these days. The warm weather is finally arriving, so I will be able to see any reactions to my currently noticeable but not huge (yet) boobs.

It's quite disheartening to be forced into abnormality and the spot light, when my entire life previously was spent avoiding that. Never dressed oddly, never had wild hair, no tats, no piercings, very vanilla.

Bummed

Offline Alchemist

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Hi Alchemist,

You mention "body perfection", and honestly, that is never something I have worried about. I have seen some guys posting here that may be striving for it (dedicated to working out, getting surgery for puffy nipples, etc.), but it's definitely not me. The extent I have gone to regarding my body is no more than eating decently and maintaining a healthy weight.

I have always been content to fit into the category of a normal weight, normal guy (more accurately 70's normal - before the obesity epidemic), so I am not one normally concerned with fitting in or looking GQ. I'm actually quite happy blending in and being ignored as background noise.

A small, normal weight guy with boobs is not going to blend in, and is not normal looking. An overweight guy with moobs on the other hand, is pretty common these days. The warm weather is finally arriving, so I will be able to see any reactions to my currently noticeable but not huge (yet) boobs.

It's quite disheartening to be forced into abnormality and the spot light, when my entire life previously was spent avoiding that. Never dressed oddly, never had wild hair, no tats, no piercings, very vanilla.

Bummed


Hi Bummed,

I'm actually quite happy blending in and being ignored as background noise.

I would have been too.  I've never been able to do that


 An overweight guy with moobs on the other hand, is pretty common these days.


It wasn't common when I was growing up.  Ask any of those fat guys with pubertal onset that have the same terror of gynecomastia as you appear to.  With the fat explosion fat has come out of multi layer over-sized shirts "hiding" the fat and the breasts. Distinguishing between "moobs" and "boobs" is kind of meaningless.  It kind of sounds like "See, I didn't do it to myself by being fat".  I understand.  I had a messed up metabolism and my weight went up and down without making any sense and I HATED being blamed for being fat.  My mother was an anorexic micromanaging my diet and screwing up my metabolism.


A small, normal weight guy with boobs is not going to blend in, and is not normal looking.

"The brain is out of Abby somebody; that's it Abby Normal."  What percentage makes it normal?  And does that include all the guys hiding in multi-layered oversize shirts or just the ones wearing t-shirts like the liberated from the old fears fat guys.

I've had to go through all of this, fat and not fat, from 6th grade onwards.  And my whole adult life I have been a walking Rorschach test getting to see how people react to a pair of D-DD+ breasts.  Hiding is hot and uncomfortable, and to all who notice such a signal, showing the shame and tipping off bullies. And besides it isn't terribly effective.  People pretend not to notice because they don't really care at all.  They typically notice nothing outside what they are thinking about. 

If you see half the guys walking around that have bumps on their chest it becomes a non-event really fast.  And if people notice, why does it matter to you?  You too will fade into the background.  So when there are prime time male bra ads on TV will that make it normal enough?

So, you go out in a t-shirt and what happens?  A couple of people glance over and look away?  All the children run up pointing at your chest and laughing?  Nobody at all appears to notice?  One guy at the store does a clear double take?  You have telepathic experiences and KNOW they are all thinking and talking about you?

What is the worst thing that is likely to happen if somebody sees that you have a little gynecomastia as you grow older?  What is the most typical thing?  Nothing at all.  That is certainly normal to grow a little breast as one ages.

Do you know how rare the "huge" breasts like the ones you have seen and heard about here.  They are really quite rare.  The vast majority are small.  Implants for women have really biased what appears normal in women.  Average breast size in women is about B+ to C, up a cup from 40 years ago.  Men average about 2 cup sizes smaller and somewhat differently shaped.

If you don't catastrophize and just wear the shirts that you want to and are comfy without regard to your breasts, all those around you will not likely notice as they grow, if they do grow, and will get used to it slowly as it grows.  And so will you.  Except for your hypersensitivity to it, it doesn't matter.  I've been there and decided I wasn't going to live my life in fear and shame and I certainly wasn't going to throw my life away because of teen-aged breast growth.

Good luck. We can change our selves.  We can change our responses to things.  We can change our minds about how we react to things.  We can retrain our responses.


Offline toaddhall

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Alchemist is right on! EVERY mammal has breasts, some tiny some gigantic--so what? they're natural as opposed to tattoos, Would you rather have a skull with snakes and a nazi swastika like is seen occasionally?  another point! notice that your girl friends REALLY enjoy theirs--you can also!

steven618

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alchemist! such amazing words...i often come here and see guys with a lil fat on the chest or a barely puffed nipple and even before and after shots where i couldn't even understand why. im only a small a cup but they do seem to be growing, and shirts that fit my chest right now fit them tight, and when i sit down they now have creases under where my breasts have caused a fold in the shirt or projection in it. And while no one seems to care notice or ask about it it does seem the world to me, which may be why those I can't understand why....do get surgery cause again, may not be much to others but everything to them. 
My biggest fear is them growing to where I NEED a bra. I have told my gf I wear a sports bra for exercise at this point cause they hurt after running. And she's okay with it, long as i give her a heads up about it so she's not caught off guard...I think it was good when I told her about me wearing one and asked if she could even see it, she said no. I think that did good for us cause I feel one of her issues would be others seeing me in a bra cause obviously they are designed for women not men (in a womans mind) but obviously they are legitimately for breasts. 
And I used to wish I was fat so I had an excuse for them growing but im rather in shape so they are starting to be noticable in shirts, though they aren't that bad (yet). But I am accepting them finely now and I assume my gf will as well as they continue to develop (say that with assurance cause of the constant growing pains). And I have a lot of great friends who arent judging or assholes so thats always nice....strangers who cares long as you love yourself and got loving ppl around you who cares about the stares and bewares of those who don't matter


 

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