copy of letter sent... and update...

[NeverRest]

Sent in September

Paa,

This site impresses me because it Does mention acceptance as a possible valid approach (though seems to lean heavily toward surgery.)

Won't go thru stories of friends and relatives... except to say I'm gaining a lot more appreciation of challenges they've gone thru but never spoke about.

I see advertising getting men coming and going.  "Men aren't masculine enough, you need "T" to build muscle, get the dominant edge over others."  "Men are too soft, emotionally, physically they are becoming womanized, they've lost their game, soft, such men are not even valid humans."

That seems all horse-pucky!  If we are healthy in body, that isn't enough according to advertising.  I've seen multiple news programs following the 'completely horrible life of men with boobs' who after surgery are now glorious 'gods' with a blessed life unending. Cow-pucky!!!!

I've never seen any mention of men who are loved and are great lovers for simply being themselves with full size breasts.  I've never seen mention of men who get their perfect body but remain dissatisfied with life. There should be some mention somewhere someday in popular media.  People should not be herded to minimize honest life.

Most of my life, I've had a relatively perfect looking body, [think: Adonis] but it was never good enough for myself.  Self confidence really was bad enough I never even felt great about getting married.  [In contrast] My cousin with steroid abuse caused gyno had no trouble finding girl friends and a wife who really fully loved him as he was.

It really is what is going on in your head that limits you. And so far as society, as in the present case of advertisers playing men either way to profit from our insecurities - I find it sad society doesn't call them out.

I am glad you are here...and wish I could introduce you to my co-worker.   He use to alway wear jackets even in 100 degree heat...

Sorry if I sounded weird, but I do wish I could connect him, not just with the site, but with you...  Maybe the best I can do is simply affirm his professionalism at work...

Hope its okay to vent...

Best to you and yours,

NeverRest

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October Update:  My coworker appears to have chosen to act with acceptance.  In place of the huge baggy clothing items worn in layers and hoodies, he is wearing more professional clothing minimizing attention to parts of his body, but maximizing attention to his total person.  Black t-shirts, even button down shirts with a tie, single layer, neat and ironed honors him well. Same body, same person but projecting more wholeness.  I suspect he encountered a friend who reassured him of how to better project his worth.  I didn't know how to bring up the subject, but someone did to the benefit of us all at work.

[Paa_Paw]

We do tend to be our own worst enemies. Often we wear inappropriate clothing or adopt a stoop shouldered posture in an attempt to hide our condition. Sadly, it does not really work as intended but calls attention to us and often makes us appear sloppy.

Many years ago I worked in a factory that made mechanical parts of rubber. It was a very hot and dirty job. Each day I arrived at work wearing a white shirt and a tie. Going straight to my locker, the tie went into the locker and I put on a Shop apron and gauntlets to protect the shirt. Even so, the shirts became dingy rather quickly and I had to replace them often. I worked hard, My production was always good in terms of both quantity and quality. It took me just under a year to get promoted into a management position, partially at least, because I looked like management.

How you present yourself and what is going on between your ears is much more important than a bit of surplus tissue on your chest.

It is always a good plan to dress, Not for the job you have, but for the one you want.