do women really care?

[Alchemist]

Hi TigerPaws,

You ask "So why do so many men choose badly?"

I end up asking the opposite, why do so many women choose so badly.  As a Tantric priest I've worked with a lot of traumatized women.  I get to know these women very deeply in helping them clear the traumas.  Virtually every woman I've gotten to know has been abused physically, psychologically and/or sexually.  Because of my nature women open up to me quickly and pour their hearts out.  I don't know what percentage have been abused in any or all of these ways but I would suggest it is over 50% in the American women I have talked to.

The feminist movement started talking about all this abuse instead of keeping it quiet.  They started complaining and revealing the deep very dark secret of American women, massive levels of abuse as children, teens and adults.


"Since the start of the feminist movement in the early 70's men have been pressured to accept women as they are for what they are rather than what the man desires."

Of course.  That's what men want, to be accepted as themselves.  Why would a man think a woman "should" be what the man wants them to be rather than what they are?  When they start talking about all that abuse and that they won't tolerate it in the future many men get upset instead.

Working out a way of life satisfactory to both needs to be negotiated honestly. Authoritarianism doesn't work when one  can't beat people into submission.  And beating, physically or otherwise, people into submission isn't considered acceptable these days.

We certainly don't like people who bully us with their beliefs about breasts on men. Why should women put up with bullying because she isn't what somebody is shoulding all over her.

[hammer]

I'm going to have to stand shoulder to shoulder here with exactly what my friend F. Alchemist stated not only as a Christian Minister but as a Gentleman!

Alchemist, very well stated, and very true, each and every word!


Thank you!

Bob

PS. Remember, 1 out of 4 women in college today will be sexually assalted, and this is totally wrong!

[TigerPaws]

Gentleman I deeply respect your opinion, so why should a man, accept damaged goods? If a man wants to accept a basket case of a woman then that is his choice but why bother? There are many intelligent, stable, well adjusted, beautiful women who are very family oriented so why compromise?

Imagine your are in a candy store with unlimited choices and you are able to sample as many as your want. The catch is that you my only leave with one, so why compromise? why choose something which is damaged?

Women are no different, why choose (and it is your choice) someone who has mental, emotional, medical, criminal or finical or other issues?

Would you go to the auto dealer and ask for a Lemon? Of course not so why choose a mate with problems when there is no need?

Compassion is all well and good but why take on someone with problems when you do not have to?

[Alchemist]

Hi TigerPaw,

First let me agree that if I were single and working and living somewhere else I would certainly have an active social life and if looking for a life partner would certainly evaluate all the suitable local ladies.  My family escaped from czarist Russia more than a century ago. 

I've never known a single person, male or female without problems.  To the best of my knowledge and understanding everybody living "here" (this world) has problems and lacks perfection.  I hadn't heard that Russia or the Ukraine was a land of marital bliss and free from abuse of women and men.  Men get abused too in every country I ever heard of. They are just less likely to admit it until the shit hits the fan.  I have met an awful lot of damaged men too.

In any case I wish you the best of luck in your marriage.  It can be the best that life has to offer or otherwise.
 

[TigerPaws]

Hi TigerPaw,

First let me agree that if I were single and working and living somewhere else I would certainly have an active social life and if looking for a life partner would certainly evaluate all the suitable local ladies.  My family escaped from czarist Russia more than a century ago. 

I've never known a single person, male or female without problems.  To the best of my knowledge and understanding everybody living "here" (this world) has problems and lacks perfection.  I hadn't heard that Russia or the Ukraine was a land of marital bliss and free from abuse of women and men.  Men get abused too in every country I ever heard of. They are just less likely to admit it until the shit hits the fan.  I have met an awful lot of damaged men too.

In any case I wish you the best of luck in your marriage.  It can be the best that life has to offer or otherwise.

Perhaps I was misunderstood, I am not married nor am I interested in anything other than a short term uncommitted relationship. At my age why bother.