Have we lost membership

[bikerbob]

I am with Jason on this.  My girls showed up about a year ago.  I don't have as much to deal with as some of the other guys here, but it was a relief to find that I am not alone.  I have come to sort of enjoy them and my 42D wife has a sense of humor about them.  Reading the older posts in this section helped me eventually find a style and brand that works for me.  Now I have 4 of the same bra in different colors and plan to order a couple more.  I am pretty sure a couple of people have busted me wearing a bra, but it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would.  Once in a while I see a post from a newbie and realize they are pretty much where I was a year ago.

[hammer]

I know a few of the new members were scared off because they thought that the forum is just another cross dressing forum when they read men writing post about falling all over each others breast like a bunch of schoolgirls!

I've had a few of them contact me off the forum and we've been able to work together without the forum due to the fact that they were uncomfortable with the type of post that they were seeing!

Some may see this as judgmental, but others see the post as repulsive!

[Reluctant]

I'm one of those people that keeps trying to ashore myself about my Gynecomastia.  I often want to see just how other people deal with the issue from time to time.  To see just how server their problem is and how they deal with it.  Often I try to rationalize or justify why I'm wearing a bra (40B).  I see people on this site that truly need to wear a bra and then those who I question, why?  I due need to admit that I want to see what type of bras some are wearing.  I myself look into the mirror and see these things hanging there bouncing around on my chest.  Then I look to see what bra to wear today, depending on what type of shirt I'm going to wear so to hide them the best way I can.  So, when I view this site, it provides me the assurance I need in my mind as to the need for support to keep them confined.  I rarely comment on the posts, I'm just here in the background trying to get the emotional support that this site offers. With that said, I'm sure that there's many others in the same boat as me that view this site as support and their presents is unknown.

[Johndoe1]

I too have been contacted off line about specifics mostly due to the embarrassment talking about bras and breasts bring on for men. I too am still guarded in what and how I say things even though it has taken a while for myself to talk more openly about my breasts and wearing bras. 
As a friend of mine has pointed out, it isn't the bra that is the problem, it is the breast. People can't tell if you are wearing a bra, but they can tell if you have breasts whether you are in a bra or not. How will you deal with that?
Even though society is more allowing of things once considered taboo, those of us with unwanted gynecomastia are still discriminated against. "Real men don't have breasts or wear bras." In reality real men DO have breasts and DO wear bras for their developed chests. I didn't ask to have breasts. No one asked my opinion, but since I have them, how do I deal with them and everyone deals differently. I have decided that I will embrace them and celebrate them and take care of them as women do since they are a part of me whether I want them to be or not and surgery isn't an option. But I am more comfortable now physically as well as mentally since doing so even though it continues to be a struggle at times.
I am a male. I present male. A male is what I am. I have no desire to be a female. But due to hormones in my body that I have no control over, my body isn't completely male either. The testosterone and estrogen stay in a constant battle of how my body reacts and looks. It is physically more comfortable for me to wear a bra than to not wear a bra because I have a bust that needs supporting. Since wearing a bra, I don't think about my bust as much as I used to. Bottom line for me is comfort. The physical support of a well fitting bra provides that for me. But that can be in direct odds with male shirts. Women's tops fit my shape better and are more comfortable, particularly in the bust, albeit with a feminine appearance in the torso area, but I wear men's shirts and find ways to wear them without looking out of place as a man. It is hard, but can be done successfully, as many here have proven.
Yes, I would love to not have to worry about what my chest looks like in a shirt. I would love to just put on a bra and a light tee shirt like women do and go about my business with no one looking, but that isn't how it works. I hope one day it will and the only way it will is to be as open as you can and that isn't easy, no matter who you are. Not for me anyway.

[hammer]

I too have been contacted off line about specifics mostly due to the embarrassment talking about bras and breasts bring on for men. I too am still guarded in what and how I say things even though it has taken a while for myself to talk more openly about my breasts and wearing bras.
As a friend of mine has pointed out, it isn't the bra that is the problem, it is the breast. People can't tell if you are wearing a bra, but they can tell if you have breasts whether you are in a bra or not. How will you deal with that?
Even though society is more allowing of things once considered taboo, those of us with unwanted gynecomastia are still discriminated against. "Real men don't have breasts or wear bras." In reality real men DO have breasts and DO wear bras for their developed chests. I didn't ask to have breasts. No one asked my opinion, but since I have them, how do I deal with them and everyone deals differently. I have decided that I will embrace them and celebrate them and take care of them as women do since they are a part of me whether I want them to be or not and surgery isn't an option. But I am more comfortable now physically as well as mentally since doing so even though it continues to be a struggle at times.
I am a male. I present male. A male is what I am. I have no desire to be a female. But due to hormones in my body that I have no control over, my body isn't completely male either. The testosterone and estrogen stay in a constant battle of how my body reacts and looks. It is physically more comfortable for me to wear a bra than to not wear a bra because I have a bust that needs supporting. Since wearing a bra, I don't think about my bust as much as I used to. Bottom line for me is comfort. The physical support of a well fitting bra provides that for me. But that can be in direct odds with male shirts. Women's tops fit my shape better and are more comfortable, particularly in the bust, albeit with a feminine appearance in the torso area, but I wear men's shirts and find ways to wear them without looking out of place as a man. It is hard, but can be done successfully, as many here have proven.
Yes, I would love to not have to worry about what my chest looks like in a shirt. I would love to just put on a bra and a light tee shirt like women do and go about my business with no one looking, but that isn't how it works. I hope one day it will and the only way it will is to be as open as you can and that isn't easy, no matter who you are. Not for me anyway.

Very well stated, Johndoe1!  I wish I could have said it just as you have!

[Reluctant]

I must say Johndoe1, you definitely hit the nail on the head.  You are what you are and mentally it's something that one must except.  Since I developed breast it doesn't make me a lesser man or a makes me fell like a woman.  When I look at myself, whether I'm wearing a bra or not, my breast show.  I do try to hide them with Hawaiian or Columbia shirts.  Living in the southeast where the weather allows this it's great.  But you just can't hide them no matter what you do or wear.  So I go about my business and I don't care what people may or may not think.  However, I do have one fear.  That's at church, they always want to hug you, so it's the only time that I don't wear a bra.  You know, I look back at what my late wife said when I started to wear bras.  She thought I needed to wear a bra and wondered when I would start.  My new wife totally understands and supports me and that really helps.

[hammer]

I must say Johndoe1, you definitely hit the nail on the head.  You are what you are and mentally it's something that one must except.  Since I developed breast it doesn't make me a lesser man or a makes me fell like a woman.  When I look at myself, whether I'm wearing a bra or not, my breast show.  I do try to hide them with Hawaiian or Columbia shirts.  Living in the southeast where the weather allows this it's great.  But you just can't hide them no matter what you do or wear.  So I go about my business and I don't care what people may or may not think.  However, I do have one fear.  That's at church, they always want to hug you, so it's the only time that I don't wear a bra.  You know, I look back at what my late wife said when I started to wear bras.  She thought I needed to wear a bra and wondered when I would start.  My new wife totally understands and supports me and that really helps.

Gentlemen,  I've always said to the men on this forum that having breast does not make them any less a men or turn them into a woman anymore than standing in the middle of the woods will turn then into a bear or living in the garage will turn them into a car!

I am so pleased to see you here on the forum posting these GREAT post!

Thank you!

[Johndoe1]

However, I do have one fear.  That's at church, they always want to hug you, so it's the only time that I don't wear a bra.

Church was also something that bothered me for the same reason. But from what I have found out, with a proper fitting bra, it molds to the body and with a thick shirt or a layer under the shirt like a tee shirt, even if someone were to touch the straps they either don't realize what it is or more likely don't even feel it but people will usually put their hands between the shoulder blades between the straps and if your band is sitting where it should, parallel to the floor, they will not feel it either. This has been my first hand experience and now I wear, even at church and no one has said anything or even given any indication they suspect and we are a "hugging church."

[Seanodonovan]

I am a new member (joined today) and I suppose I am looking for "support" i.e. confirmation that I am not alone!  Pure reason tells me I cannot be alone but it is always better to see others than simply guess that others must be there.
I am 69, live alone so have no concerns over what any wife/partner might think.  I am English so have no concerns about being hugged (by and large the English don't "do" hugs) and on the rare occasion that might happen no-one would say anything even if they did notice anything (because the English don't comment like that).
I have started wearing bras for comfort as my breasts have grown to the size where comfort becomes a factor....nothing huge but noticeable..and because I am at an age where one does a number of things for comfort/practicality like using a walking stick or wearing those handy night-time garments "in case of accidents".  
Although in those days I didn't know the term, gynecomastia has been a part of my life since teen days.  The only time anyone commented was once or twice in my army days (when they were definitely not huge but still noticeable if one looked) when to the comment "You've got bigger breasts than my wife" the answer was.."So what?  My IQ is big as well.."
regards to all
Sean

[bikerbob]

Welcome to Guys Who Wear Bras.  You are not alone and a lot of us in the Acceptance section seem to be older guys who are not mortified at the idea of wearing a bra for comfort.  Most of us are just guys who are trying to make the best of a bad situation.  I joined the group about a year ago.  There are a lot of us out here and putting on a bra in the morning isn't the end of the world.

[hammer]

I'll join Felix and welcome you to the "club" so to speak!

As he said most of us a bunch of older guys (I'm 60) and some are even from your part of the world as well,  but we are are learning or have learned to live with gynecomastia.  

I like you, also had it as a teen and not much ever said except a few things while in the service, but as a Navy diver and in great shape the guys always did it in just!

Once again welcome,  and if there is anything that we can do to help just chime in, as we are here for one another!

[Johndoe1]

Hello Sean. You are not alone. They say that 50% of men are affected by gynecomastia in some way or another. Many here have been affected since puberty. Some later in life due to medication. It has been life long for me and I finally just got tired of worrying about it and embraced it. And since I have, life has gotten much better, physically and mentally. I had a horrible self body image that affected my health. Once I came to terms with the real reason, my chest, I decided my life was more important than my chest. Once I stopped worrying, others stopped noticing my chest. Actually I think my paranoia over my chest caused me to see that no one cared about my boobs but me. While very few people know of my bra wearing, those few who do are specially chosen, understand what I am doing and support me in return. I am straight and happily married. I just wear a bra for my breast tissue. I wished I had gotten to this point years ago. I would have had a happier life.

[Seanodonovan]

Thanks for the replies folks.
I admit to being just a little puzzled as to why some enterprising person has not designed male-oriented bras instead of aiming such as are made at the X-dress/TG market.  With 50% of the male population affected you would think there would be some profit there.

[aboywithgirls]

That may be. For me, I have found that the bras available for women work excellent for me. I have several everyday bras. However, I also have sports bras for workouts and leisure bras for sleeping. Some of my bras are molded cup and I have lace cup bras for warmer weather. Women already have a great selection and a wide variety of styles and sizes.  A little lace never bothered me. 

[Johndoe1]

Elisabeth Dale who writes a breast blog and is an advocate for gynecomastia suffers asked that question to manufactures and they didn't seem very interested. I guess their attitude is why change when men are already buying what is on the market.