Have we got a bit off track?? Do we risk alienating prospective members?

[DW20]

SideSet
I hope it was not my comments that are driving you away. I assure you that I am anything but narrow minded.
I value your comments and site will be poorer if you disappear. 
I  was only pleading the case that we might be in danger of almost missing what should be the main purpose of the site

[Moobzie]

Just some thoughts:
For those with more anti-androgenic symptoms than just breast development - yet not mtf nor cross-dressers, being able to discuss that can alleviate the feeling of being freak (tough enough just with gyno for a lot of us!). It can be helpful.
In my own case, medications for a serious condition caused the gynecomastia and other symptoms - but gradually, so that it wasn't as noticeable to me as if it had been as rapid as the gyno was.  Over time, the following happened: softer muscles, smoother skin, less body hair, and 'angles morphing into curves', and finding that some other articles of 'female' clothing fit better.  
Yet my completely hetero orientation remains unchanged. 
For those members who haven't experienced these other symptoms, simply ignore threads that discuss their effects - negative comments can offend, and may dissuade prospective members from joining. 

[JohannK]

You do make a fair point there.  I think the main thing here is just to be mindful of how those discussions can derail the forum, and to think a bit before posting such things.  Of course that's not saying that it should be 100% breast-related, or that it should be completely limited just to cutting off or wearing a bra (and no other discussions at all).  But some of those threads can get to a point where they make me uncomfortable.

I'm also a bit familiar with other symptoms, I wear 34" jeans because that's all I can get into.  But counting the holes in the belt (from the hole that corresponds to the 34" that I'm wearing) and measuring the distance from one hole to the next it seems I'm tightening my jeans down to 29"(!!!).

[Moobzie]

Yahhh - After serious surgery my pant size changed. My hips measured 40"-41" while my waist went to 32"-34".  Men's trousers that fit my waist won't go over my hips, and those that fit over my hips leave a bunched up waist.   Women's size 10 or 12 fit.  It's this kind of thing that some guys experience.

[Johndoe1]

In my humble opinion, this is a site for men dealing with a very natural male condition. This is not a site for those with true gender identity issues. I don't think we are equipped to handle that. We are the wrong site for that. Having said that, we do have very similar issues as women due to having breasts and having levels of female hormones that cause some level of feminization, whether we wish to acknowledge it or not. 

Certainly there's times and topics that will diverge into areas that, on the surface, appear to derail from a traditional male role, such as bra types, styles, manufacturers, body types, breast shapes, fittings, what foundation garments should be worn in conjunction with a bra and what outter wear works with a bra or breast size and shape. All things considered "Ladies Unmentionables" but directly apply to us because like it or not, life has dealt us with cards that put us one foot in and one foot out of that feminine world. And the conversation will reflect that and sound very feminine to our male ears. 

Again, if someone identifies as a female, then this probably isn't the place for them. Nothing personal. Are they welcome here? ABSOLUTELY, if they wish to help be the solution in helping to find solutions for problems or trying to help a man in their life navigate gynecomastia waters. Are those who are conflicted about there sexuality due to their gynecomastia they too are very welcome here. It took years to figure out what I was. That's part of the journey too.

While we stress over our breasts and possibly other areas of our bodies, women do to and what they have to offer in help and advice is well worth our time, even if it makes us squeamish to talk about such "girly things".

My experience has been the acceptance section of this site has always been very accepting. That shouldn't change. This site is for gynecomastia and that's where it should stay. All facets of the acceptance of gynecomastia are fair game including items of clothing deemed feminine. Makeup and such probably doesn't belong here.

Just my opinion. Your mileage may vary.

[Charlee]

Well worded JohnDoe.

[p.r.1974]

Those that choose to stay in the dark, head in the sand, with a closed mind will stay there until they decide not to be. And no amount of showing them the light will change that; but be a beacon for those that do. I would still be the timid and shaking little chihuahua of a person I was in early school years if I lived to not offend the fragile ego of the unenlightened. I am done wasting energy and air on those not willing to accept another's need for support .

[MarcoB]

Well put, JohnDoe.  Sticking to the intended purpose of the forum is not "narrow-minded."  I myself am a moderator or administrator on several forums (technical ones, totally unrelated to gyne), and the forum owners have asked me to make sure the forums don't get diluted or cluttered with things that are not on the intended topic.  This is a gyne forum.

[Traveler]

When men come to this forum they are seeking an answer to a problem. They are in pain, discomfort or just irritated with continued jiggling or bouncing of their breasts, not chest, breasts. Yes, the technical term is gynecomastia and while most men with gynecomastia don’t wear a bra it’s because they aren’t having a problem, ignoring it or they don’t have the information they need to hear. It’s not our job or place to judge whether they need a bra or not! It’s not our job or place to tell them they should only wear a sports bra or compression tee. Our job should be to offer support and solutions for where they are in their acceptance.
I’m a great example. I ignored my gyne for 40 years, didn’t do or go anywhere near water or parties, I was a social wallflower. It took pain and being uncomfortable for me to finally look for answers. I’d started with the compression shirts, pull overs and “sports bras.” It took me finding this site and reading the stories of guys overcoming shame and finding acceptance. Once acceptance is found real solutions are found.
We have to stop calling the correct clothing feminine. We have to stop calling clothes that fit and work cross dressing. We have to stop judging others for their choice.
Normal is just a setting on the dryer.

[brock123]

FWIW, I'm of the opinion that this site does indeed attract and cater more to cross-dressing/trans men than catering to advice for men trying to handle Gynecomastia.

There are men that choose to embrace their condition, and there are men that want to hide/get rid of their condition. Neither position is wrong-- "you be you".  What I hoped to find here was some like-minded individuals and their advice to get me where I wanted to be (hide/get rid of the condition), and I don't feel that this site has ultimately helped take me there.  Nothing suggested here ended up being of value to me, and while I tried to share what actually did work for me with you guys, that was pretty much "crickets".

I'd like to see a section where men that have a mild and/or presumed temporary condition that concerns them can find the advice and the solace they are seeking from other men.  Noting that you are now rocking a 42AA profile from pseudo-gyno that bugs you to death but can be attributed to all those chocolate covered pretzels you inhaled last month is a different thing than true hormonal imbalance and/or breast growth.  Going trans is also a completely different thing.

However you feel about it, dude, I'm with ya.  If women's panties are more comfortable for you, who am I to say otherwise (they do look nice)? I don't give a crap what you wear as underwear. But, while I'm "pseudo" and have done my best over the past year to figure out why that is (with my doctor) and what I can do about it since I don't want to accept it, I would be much happier if I could wear my compression shirts and/or my Oalka sports bras every day without presumed judgement.

"Presumed" seems like it's pretty key here -- how many people do you actually run into on a daily basis that would even care to comment if they saw you in a bra?  If you have a significant other, how does she/he feel about it? If that's a "she", she has been dealing with this far longer than you have, what makes you think she will react negatively to you?

I guess it boils down to that men coming here are only coming here in search of a solution to whatever their problem is.  I think the site could do better catering to the various types of men that visit it.  Some of us want to be who we are, some of us want to change who we are and learn how we can do that.

[Moobzie]

Brock123:
A solution is to start a thread on the topic(s) / issue(s) you're interested in - then see who else is also.  I avoid those that don't interest me, check out the threads that may sound interesting, and then choose whether or not to follow it.
A site like this will attract 1]: trolls (which are often very obvious); and 2]: those whose primary focus / interest is CD or trans stuff (usually obvious).
One of the good things about this site is that sometimes topics come up that affect some gynecomastia guys but that aren't either well known or widely discussed - such as associated physical symptoms (like changing body shape, e.g.), which can give those with those 'additional' symptoms a safe place to discuss them.  Again, if the shoe fits (or bra? panty?) fine.  If not, fine.  Viewers members aren't required to engage in any thread.

[TWO FRIENDS!]

AKA DW20  (original post) New ID to try and solve a few technical issues etc

Never expected such a response from so many -  It was just a plea for consideration to potential new members. 
I am pleased however to see so many feelings and opinions aired - Always better out than in

[Traveler]

I don’t know William, but it seems to me that acceptance means that some comfort needs to be in the mix. If you’re only binding you might as well save up and chop them off. I don’t care if I occasionally get “made” and all bras are feminine, while I am and present male, it doesn’t matter what’s under my shirt.

[TWO FRIENDS!]

William
With respect you seem to be advocating that men really ought to try and settle for discomfort rather than wear a female styled bra.
Fine if that's what YOU want.
I happen to believe that ultimate acceptance is NOT about flaunting breasts but definitely about looking after them and making them comfortable even if they do become a little more noticeable.
If bras were sold in the mens aisle they would gradually become a new norm even if they were flowery feminine designs. I am old enough to remember a time when no man would gave been seen dead in a pink shirt let alone a highly patterned one unless it was a good old check.

We should as part of genuine acceptance encourage fit and comfort rather than cringing uncomfortable covert hidingl as if we were modern lepers. 

Binders IMO should be consigned to the torture chamber where they belong, but heigh if that's what floats your boat you are welcome.
If we all hide the next generation of naturally well endowed men will find life just as difficult as ourselves. Little by little we must change society

[MarcoB]

I am old enough to remember a time when no man would gave been seen dead in a pink shirt let alone a highly patterned one unless it was a good old check.

In the 1970's, a lot of young men had very long hair and necklaces, a lot more than today.  Throughout much of history, men wore skirts.  They still do in some cultures.  We have a friend, a man, who carries a purse.  It does not look feminine at all, except for culture's association.

We should as part of genuine acceptance encourage fit and comfort rather than cringing uncomfortable covert hiding as if we were modern lepers.  Binders IMO should be consigned to the torture chamber where they belong [...]  If we all hide the next generation of naturally well endowed men will find life just as difficult as ourselves.  Little by little we must change society.

Sounds good.