Underwire

[Orb]

42CSuprise,  I'm truly sorry for the trauma you had to endure.  I know this isn't the place to share and air all our hurts, fears and feelings.  I empathize with you.  For me the teasing and mocking endured as a kid was very difficult.  Not to what you had to I'm sure.  Again sorry.  After high school I compensated by working hard, working out hard and doing a lot of outdoor extreme sports.  It help a lot, however as age and my ability to continue those activities evolved so did my chest. To a point that is much more severe as before.  I carry on, chin up.  Words still hurt.  If I dwell on the youthful self it does.  That's why I started the thread, Acceptance starts within.  I does period.  That's why I don't take much stock in the post or comments by the girls post in the other thread.  Just words, one ignorant self centered persons view written to gain self acceptance, and LIKES, by putting others down. 
  We're not so different from everyone else.  Our bodies differences are just out there to see.  Inside I wouldn't change a thing.
  I hope you, and everyone here can put those demons behind.  Our self worth doesn't revolve around our body image or others view of it.  It's your head and heart.  I think your doing great.
  This is a great place to share many things.  It has helped with self acceptance for sure.
Be well all.

  Cheers!

[42CSurprise!]

Thanks Orb.  Honestly, I wouldn't have continued posting on this website had I not observed how important acceptance is for the men here.  Fortunately, I have a few friends in real life with whom I've been able to share all of this.  Although I'm comfortably heterosexual at this point in my life, two gay friends have been especially helpful since they've experienced the wide range of interests and behaviors in their community.  A group called the radical fairies love crossdressing.  I know that is not what is happening here, but the freedom to explore is worth embracing.  This site most often leans into the utilitarian side of things but occasionally men will speak about their appreciation and enjoyment of the fact they have breasts of their own.  One even speaks about her transgender journey that parallels acceptance of the breasts she found developing as an adolescent boy.  I would happily have lived without this experience, but given my history and my reality, I'll certainly make the best of it.  Enjoyment can be part of that as a few men here have said.  I definitely am appreciating my breasts and love how a quality brassiere presents them... underwire, of course.

[Orb]

 Being honest with, and allowing ourselves the place and space to seek freely with a  sympathetic and empathetic ear is always good.  Every person I have had the pleasure to meet, struggles.  I'm glad you found ears to listen, acceptance to wear and find comfort in a good underwire and, live. 
  There is no right.  There is no wrong.  Just acceptance!

[aboywithgirls]

I am an admirer of each and everyone of you! You have all experienced so many ups and downs that go with having mammary glands of your own.

It is a struggle! For most here, you have to learn to navigate the vast ocean of bras alone. There is no one that will sit you down for the " bra talk". You are alone the first time you go bra shopping. Nobody there to explain why you have three columns of loops and one column of hooks or how to adjust the straps. Nobody there to ask about an underwire, cut and sew, racerback, soft cup, tshirt, balcony, or encapsulating VS compression bras are and which one should you be wearing. 

I was truly blessed by having someone who did these things for me and took me for my first bra fitting where the rest of my bra questions were answered.

I know that many of you still struggle while others shop for and wear your bra as openly as any woman. 

I sometimes feel that I abandoned you. I feel that because my gynecomastia struggles are over, I still deal with others being a woman ( which I glady accept).

My heart ❤️goes out to all of you brave men who have accepted and own your breasts and are comfortable enough to be comfortable and supported. You not only have the support that your bra provides, you also have this girl's support.🥰

[42CSurprise!]

Your journey Sophie has not only allowed you to move beyond what is medically termed gynecomastia, but to contend with the reality that contributes to the presence of breasts on our chests.  We sometimes talk about it but as I mention above, the focus is more often on the utilitarian side of the equation... how the brassiere fits to provide comfort for the wearer.  That is important, no doubt, but there is much more going on here in my opinion.

We were told as adolescents by doctors our families took us to that the breasts appearing on our chests were a normal stage of development and that they'd go away when we got older.  Hormonal development apparently goes through different stages and adolescence is when significant changes happen in bodies of both boys and girls.  It is not an aberration that we ended up with breasts, it is simply an expression of OUR bodies.  Simply put, we tend to be on the more feminine side of the gender continuum.  Men here talk about wearing women's clothes because they accommodate not only our breasts, but our hips, thighs and butt.  You concluded that you are transgender and that living as a woman made sense for you.  The ingredients to that decision are doubtless complex and none of our business, but in a way you've moved through both the fact of having both breasts and a feminine body to live life AS a woman.  I certainly wouldn't suggest every man here dealing with breasts is a candidate for transitioning, but this is more than whether brassieres fit and provide comfort.  Some men speak about the changes in how they relate to their wives, they've become more accepting and less assertive.  I would take those as more feminine characteristics.  Some celebrate their breasts and allow that to be part of their sexual expression.

My complex history has meant both gender and sexual orientation confusion have been part of the journey.  The fact my body is more feminine probably has contributed to that and certainly the fact I love lingerie and brassieres has.  I expect the men here, some of whom are married, some of whom are not, are all over the place on these matters.  I read between the lines of what is shared on this website and I know it is not as simple as "does the brassiere fit?"  The men who hate having breasts don't tend to spend a great deal of time here.  Men who talk about brassieres and appreciate how other men look in their latest acquisition have a completely different relationship to the fact breasts have grown on their chests.

At the moment I'm once again exploring days without wearing a brassiere, but I felt the need to check in here since I'd recently been involved in a couple of conversations.  As I've said, my relationship to all of this is complicated and I continue to explore it all...  I call it claiming my aliveness, which can only be a good thing.  Doubtless I'll be back and probably wearing a brassiere, but I'm exploring whether behaviors rooted in trauma have something more to tell me about myself... my journey.  The acceptance on this website has helped me immensely in this inquiry.  Thanks everyone.

[hawkdaboo3]

How many of you prefer underwire bras?  What has been your experience buying and wearing them?

I find underwire bras to be more comfortable and fit me better.  When I go bra shopping, I find that sales associates often tend to steer me away from underwire bras, I think because I am male.

How can you find a good one with underwire? 

[aboywithgirls]

There are multiple avenues to finding an underwire bra that works for you. The best way is to be professionally fitted in person. You will be able to discuss what II is you are looking for in an underwire bra. The fit is always most important. The other things that are almost just as important are the shape and support.