Author Topic: Beyond......Has the time come?  (Read 1984 times)

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This site has historically been a refuge and source of good info for men finding out that estrogen  is more powerful than testosterone - usually initially alerted by the appearance of boobs.
Once sorted, often by bra wearing,  estrogen often beckons many, including myself to the beyond......other womens  apparel seems to feature as a next  step towards comfort in  order to accommodate changing body shape. Many seem  to find  this segues into embracing some degree of feminisation that for a significant minority ends in full transition. 
For me, my religious beliefs set bounds that make that impossible. I would stress these are MY beliefs not peer pressure.

For myself, beyond includes 99% women's  clothing ( necessity  and desire), discreet lippy and gloss, feminine perfumery, middle of the road necklaces, three earpiercings and a very pink attitude that every aspect of life is better and certainly more interesting on the ladies side.

HAS THE TIME COME to suggest to the site's owners that the original intentions for the acceptance side might  be better served by  creating a separate "Beyond gyno" section. It might also save some of the many spats that have occurred over the years, not least the recent past. Or am I just "a voice crying in the wilderness"?

Offline Justagirl💃

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Well, currently we keep the "other conversations" (or at least try to), in PM's. It's not very "inclusive" and from my experience has pretty much been one-on-one.

Upon accidental slip, even I have posted what I have later deemed not "relevant" to gyno on the open forum.

There are many possible outcomes from estrogen dominance, and my path is one of those (although I have struggled massively with this since puberty).

If there did exist a "Beyond" section, I would definitely spend most of my time there.
Mind you, the conversations would get very "interesting" to say the least.

I currently look at my posts from the perspective of, "would a new user with a gyno diagnosis get scared off from ever participating?"

Clothes that fit, and of course wearing a bra are all natural progressions of advanced gynecomastia.

The wearing of makeup, sexy outfits, floral pattern black stockings (my personal choice), and beyond are exactly the subjects that I try to self moderate in my comments and posts on the open forum.

It's most definitely a great idea to create a Beyond section. (or perhaps a "Beyond" Personal message that includes "all" the "girls" and "leaning towards" users)🤔
« Last Edit: September 12, 2023, 06:08:34 AM by Justagirl💃 »
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flaunt them! 💃
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Offline Johndoe1

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A surgeon owns the site. He is in the business of breast reductions. He is nice enough to allow acceptance talk, but don't know if he wants to move "beyond." I think the primary goal for him of this site brings men who want their gynecomastia removed. "Beyond" under minds that, I think. Just my two cents worth.
Womanhood is not defined by breasts, and breasts are not indicative of womanhood. - Melissa Fabello

Upfront

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I know John. It kept popping into my mind even as I was typing.
The owner rightly holds all the cards but what is the worst scenario? We ask politely and get a polite refusal.
I have been onsite for well over a decade under different guises and some us interact from time to time with first timers on the gynetalk section. It could be said we often help the business side  do due diligence and are part of the "informed consent process "
Also the acceptance mix is now way ahead of what was it original intent and I am sure put some are put off before getting a balanced view. Some of those are possibly list business.
I think a separation  would be a win win for all. If there is support for the idea on this thread it might just be worth asking the owner to review the thread for consideration. 

Offline Johndoe1

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Don't get me wrong. I am not against the idea. Don't know if it fits what HE wants. Interesting idea though and seems a natural in this societal climate.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2023, 07:55:02 AM by Johndoe1 »

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John.
I never thought  you were!

Offline Johndoe1

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Offline Justagirl💃

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It's most definitely a great idea to create a Beyond section. (or perhaps a "Beyond" Personal message that includes "all" the "girls" and "leaning towards" users)🤔
Out of curiosity I tested to see if PM's have the capacity for multiple members, it does. 

Offline Evolver

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The owner of this site is under no obligation to provide another 'playground' for those looking for something extra. I agree with Johndoe1, It would only detract from the original intent of the site.

There are more relevant forums in existence for those of us who require them. 

Offline gotgyne

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The owner of this site is under no obligation to provide another 'playground' for those looking for something extra. I agree with Johndoe1, It would only detract from the original intent of the site.

There are more relevant forums in existence for those of us who require them.
Exactly my thoughts.
A bra is just an article of clothing for people with breasts.

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Evolved
Basically I  fully agree. My only reason  for raising the idea is that the current  direction of travel is already a distraction from the main topic. 
 I was only wishing to make a clear separation of two quite  different Groups of discussion.
I have often thought that those causing this, myself included, should desist so as not to put off newbies  seeking sensible gyno info and `nothing more.
 Yes ,there are other fora but most go uncomfortably way beyond where a lot would want to travel.
At a very simplistic level there a huge divide between those  who need comfort  and those who have who have a fetish about bra wearing and those who spend vast amounts buying bras only to then need to spend$$$ on prosthetics and surgery to fill them.
I personally am happy with this community. It is quite balanced most of the time but there is a tension that occasionally erupts and ruins thing for everyone. Witness the recent extended silence and eletion of accounts - though some of us have returned
Whatever our views there is a conversation  to be had.
If most folk don't agree the thread will just peter out of its own accord


Offline Evolver

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Yep, fair enough on all counts, no probs. :)

The main reason I mention different forums is that the further along the direction of travel that we refer to that some of us go here, the more relevant those other forums do actually become, even if they seem too daunting initially. Even at the beginning, one would have much in common with members on those forums because they all started their journeys at some point too, whatever the reasons were for it, even if it was just due to estrogen dominance. I'm sure you'll agree with this - let's say, hypothetically, 100% of the members here on the acceptance side of the forum wear a bra due to gynecomastia. No problem, we have something in common with, and the understanding and support of, 100% of the people we share this with. It's what this side of the forum was designed for. Now, just say, 30% of those folk discover that they enjoy aspects of femininity that they were previously blind to. Sure, nothing wrong with sharing that here, because the cause of those feelings is probably the same one that caused their gyno. But suddenly, they have lost some commonality with 70% of their friends here. For the smaller percentage who go further, there is a further diminishing return, and so on. They still have 100% support from a few, but it is not from 100% of the people. And that is what leads to conflict. So yes, I agree, another forum is needed. Where we differ is that I'm still not convinced that it needs to be under the umbrella of this site, mainly because it is already catered for elsewhere.

I joined another forum about 6 months ago not just because I wear a bra more for my brain than my boobs, even though I can actually physically justify wearing one, but also because I was finally made to recognize that I am clearly on some sort of scary path which has an unknown direction and length. I'm loving my journey of self discovery but sometimes I am like a ship without a rudder and I felt that a different sea would be easier to navigate, or at least drift across, bumping into other ships along the way that have sailed before me. But, I also remain here because of its ongoing relevance to other aspects of my journey and more importantly, the friendships that I have been blessed to have made. I was very very careful to choose another forum that wasn't designed just for crossdressers and sissies comparing notes or wasn't all about drag, or one that wasn't a covert cover for a dating site. I chose one which caters for anyone who feels that they are non-cis, regardless of the reason. It is also busier.

Great discussion! :D

Offline 42CSurprise!

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Evolver makes the point I intended to add to this conversation but I think I'll share a bit of my experience.  Because my journey has definitely had an erotic element to it, one that included crossdressing when I was younger, I explored many different websites once I'd come upon this site and began shopping for brassieres.  I mentioned some time ago that while there were perhaps five or six men here chatting away, there were over three hundred on the crossdressing website I signed up for.  That website has sub-forums that deal not only with crossdressing but also transitioning and non-binary experience.  For those not choosing to transition, leaning into a non-binary world can be very appealing... remaining male but embracing one's femininity, as is discussed in this thread.

I'm delighted we have expanded the breadth of topics discussed on this side of the website.  But as Evolver notes, sometimes we come to a place where we need more than is on offer here.  Perhaps that need can be served through private messaging, which is wonderful.  But perhaps a fuller discussion of relevant topics is called for.  As Birdie says, we're all on the estrogen highway, and we each drive at our own speed to our own destination.  If the destination isn't yet clear, we simply keep driving... sharing our experience with other travelers.  All good!  I'm pleased to be part of this modest community.

Offline HeldUp

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I have to agree with the general sentiment. Some of the community has found commonality around subjects beyond the bounds of this site's stated intent. It's excellent that folks have been able to bond, share of themselves, and enjoy the virtual company of others but diverting the conversation to a subsection of Acceptance will inevitably chafe and likely only cater to a small group of people. Group "Conversations" can foster that camaraderie here as can forums tailored to that line of discourse elsewhere.

Offline gotgyne

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Someone should post those different forums so that the people who want to go beyond can visit those forums.
Why not?
There is Cheryl's Breast Talk Forum for people who even want to enlarge theirs breasts.
Then there are forums as the mentioned on TG issues that also have subforums for non-binary and a lot of other people.

https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/cherylsbreasttalk/

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?

https://www.transgenderpulse.com/forums/index.php



 

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