When I go out I usually am wearing layers, and not holding myself in very normal posture.
Crossed arms slouched etc.
I find myself overly preoccupied with what others my perceive. Hate the feeling
I tell myself I don't care. But I know I really do and live like I am being judged.
Hate that feeling .. deep mental issue I can't shake.
I can really feel for you - I was about there maybe three years ago toward the end of covid restrictions, I had probably hit C+/D cup by then, and I remember that emotion I read here.
I also got to where I was hunching my shoulders even before then, as you describe, almost like a defence mechinism. I'm older, and my wife says hunching isn't a good look. She was right, and for me, I finally noticed that it just makes me more out of shape but not look smaller.I still care how I look professionally, and need to dress professionally. With so many votes for bras here, I finally tried a sports bra shaped like a mens tank undershirt. I found for daily life sports bras were great - it sounds counterintuitive to wear a bra to look more masculine, but I look a lot more in shape, like pecs on a thicker guy (because my chest appears tighter, less movement) than many peers my age, and it doesn't have to be super compressive (that's a mistake, its unnecessarily uncomfortable; look for sports bras that work well for busty women), just enough to support and shape. If it is a 'racerback' or tank style, especially, really no one notices, including family members that hug! Compression shirts, however, are sometimes necessary if I need to wear a theme work polo in a lighter color: most try to compress guts more than chest and its uncomfortable, but there are some that do the opposite, and also buy a size larger; it's not about squeezing to be thin (the aim of most compression shirts), it is about smoothing harsher curves down, the right ones I can wear all day. Like bras, it's trial and error.
Now if I have to dress for anything I can stand tall and not worry - I can't hide it, there is too much there, but I can present better and that builds confidence. I do wear a thin tee over the bra if it is a button or zipper top that might open too far (had a close call one day). I now have the confidence to even wear underwires out occasionally, but I have to dress more strategically as they project more, but it is also doable. [
Maybe I should expand this as topic for a thread.]No one can tell you to stop feeling judged, and it is normal you care how you look and are perceived. With some tweaks and some sports bras that work, however, you'll gain the confidence and will also be comfortable. I think you are fortunate to have a spouse that can look you over front and back before you leave the house. Hoping for the best for you.
