Other stuff, maybe due to estrogen, that we haven't discussed yet.

[Sophie]

You all are so right. I've told the ladies at work about the forum. I leave out any identifiers. They were naturally curious. They were very surprised when I told them how many men have fully developed breasts.  They were even more surprised that so many of them prefer to keep them and wear a bra rather than have them removed! Most of the girls knew me prior to transitioning and thought that I was so unique. 

They were also curious about the conversations and topics we discuss here. I told them how we discuss our bodies and our issues with them. Of course that we discuss our breasts and how they have changed over time. What bras we like and if a particular bra has helped us with our shape. We also talk about how our spouses feel about our breasts and how they feel about what wear to look our best. One of the ladies, Ashley, spoke up and said, " so, these guys have the same exact issues as we do?". 

This is such a special 💗 place. You have all continued to accept me through all of my changes as "one of the guys" even though we are always talking about "women's issues". I truly love ❤️ you all so much!!!!

❤️ Sophie ❤️

[WPW717]

Woke up today feeling great, read the forum and only felt better. Seems as though the chemotherapy side effects have disappeared and are allowing for a greater appreciation of life.
As all here have intimated ‘ we are on different paths but belong to the same tribe’. I appreciate you all, the journey beckons and so I start my day in high spirits.

[Parity]

Bob, I'm delighted to hear your feeling good physically and emotionally.  Chemo does a number on us.  I have never had with the cancer I had 25 years ago.  I had testicular cancer then. A few surgeries and radiation for a month.  My whole stomach and chest area was zapped.  I had burns and was very sick.  I would drive there in the afternoon for a treatment then drive myself home.  I couldn't make it home without stopping and being sick.  Three days after  my last treatment my appendix decided it had enough and wanted out.  They really moved things around during that one, just to peak they said.  Ouch.  I still have one of my boys but its in bad shape.  Literally.  It has grown to and has had issues as it wants to take over the vacant real estate.
I haven't done much investigation into the breast growth, just figure its from that.

Again Bob,  I'm glad for your positive attitude.  Life throws all of us curves.  I just want to be remembered for how I handled them.

[Johndoe1]

You all are so right. I've told the ladies at work about the forum. I leave out any identifiers. They were naturally curious. They were very surprised when I told them how many men have fully developed breasts.  

I am surprised they didn't think we could have developed breasts! One would think a breast clinic would be aware of things like that!  😁  I also think it's wonderful they're curious about us, same as we are curious about them. I suspect if breasts were not so sexualized, we would all be smarter. When I see women's breasts I don't get turned on, I compare and sometimes become jealous!

They were even more surprised that so many of them prefer to keep them and wear a bra rather than have them removed! Most of the girls knew me prior to transitioning and thought that I was so unique.

I find that totally amazing. I guess women think we just want to cut unwanted body parts off! And why should they have all the fun!

They were also curious about the conversations and topics we discuss here. I told them how we discuss our bodies and our issues with them. Of course that we discuss our breasts and how they have changed over time. What bras we like and if a particular bra has helped us with our shape. We also talk about how our spouses feel about our breasts and how they feel about what wear to look our best. One of the ladies, Ashley, spoke up and said, " so, these guys have the same exact issues as we do?".

It's a boob thing! It's just what you do! 😀

This is such a special 💗 place. You have all continued to accept me through all of my changes as "one of the guys" even though we are always talking about "women's issues". I truly love ❤️ you all so much!!!!

❤️ Sophie ❤️

You will always be "one of the guys!" We're glad you put up with us. 

[42CSurprise!]

Yes, another wonderful conversation on this site.  Conditions have changed in a very positive way.  This side of the website, after all, is supposed to be about acceptance.  I'm happy those unhappy men who were still disturbed by what was happening to their bodies left the scene.  We don't need judgment from anyone.  Now we can tell the truth about our experiences and be treated with respect.

I've mentioned that I don't generally talk about my breasts or brassiere wearing with friends.  I have mentioned it to two fellows, both of who are gay and who are fully comfortable with my journey.  They've played at erotic edges along the way, so  for them, just about any presentation is respected.  I've also mentioned it to two women who've been dear friends along the way.  In retrospect, it was probably friendships with them over the years that prepared me for this evolution in my perspective about life... which now includes breasts, curves and brassieres.

A newer friend had breast cancer many years ago and had one breast removed.  She did not have reconstructive surgery.  She is in consultation with doctors about the possibility of having her other breast removed simply because she has the gene that suggests cancer will return.  She told me recently that she has been having discomfort simply by carrying the weight of one breast on her chest.  Yesterday she visited a shop that specializes in brassieres that could help her.  She told me that she purchased a brassiere at 36 DD.  It was recommended to her that she add a breast form to allow the brassiere to do a better job.  She asked my opinion.  Of course, I was sitting there at the moment wearing a 42 C brassiere, something I've never mentioned to her.  I felt myself wanting to tell her about it.  I've already told her about the sexual trauma I experienced, about crossdressing and things about my sexual history that I've not shared here.  I have no doubt she would be unfazed if I told her about wearing a brassiere.  Since we do video chats I could even show her my voluptuous curves.  I mention this in the spirit of the conversation here, in which some of us are having such honest, intimate conversations with women in our lives.  I can't imagine having such a conversation with men I know who aren't gay  Of course, we talk about these things all the time.  That is what makes this such a special place.  We really need to talk about these things, to release whatever shame we may carry about being different in this way.  It is a curse to feel different and in reality it is only through self-acceptance that we can release those feelings.  None of us chose the journey we find ourselves on.  Blaming ourselves serves no purpose but to leave us feeling bad about ourselves.

How we pursue this journey is really up to us.  There are no demands that it be done a certain way.  We find our own truth.  It is good to know there are men who understand and who offer their encouragement.  Thanks everyone!

[p.r.1974]

The conversations have indeed taken on a more open and accepting flow. Yes, we all have, and may continue to have, things that we have been guarded about. Some laundry is just not for public consumption, and is perhaps more suited to private conversation.

I believe the path to living our truth is not without it's struggles, though I hope that they become less intense for everyone. There is indeed no choice in how many aspects of us simply are alterable anymore than where we were born or the color of our skin, barring those that frequent a tanning bed or the dun way too much. The only choice involved being our acceptance and how we present these outwardly. Trolls will exist until the end of time. So, we can let that fear control all that we do, or we can choose to live our truth.

Being a bit longer in the tooth has its advantages. Like curling up with a goof book before a large number of them went digital, and or had movies that presented the work well, if incomplete all the way to butchering it. One little book that rang true early on is by Frank Herbert.

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” 

[Evolver]

Great observations and advice, p.r.1974.

Just now, I thought about another aspect of my life that maybe puts me towards the feminine end of the scale, without knowing if hormone stew put me there. Maybe it's just because I've been married for a long time IDK, but there are times when I actually understand what my wife is trying to say even though she is only talking in hints!

We all know that guys are innately logical and direct, whereas our beautiful female counterparts seem to not always, but sometimes, communicate in a confusing and indirect manner. Instead of "Can you bring the washing in soon please?" there is "Looks like it might rain later." etc. More and more, I'm actually reading the tea leaves!

One other comment I'd like to make about this forum, and the warmth that we feel from being part of this community - it's as if it's a fairy tale, and we ALL live happily ever after! ❤

[Justagirl💃]

Yes, the speaking in hints that go unnoticed for the most part. Like, "I found the seat up in the loo again". 

Mr Macho sits confused thinking, "really?"

Only understood by the direct approach by saying, "don't leave the bloody seat up in the loo!"

[Sophie]

I never could understand how so many men could not see things or have the slightest clue on how to sense and understand how a.woman actually feels in certain situations. I realize now, that men truly do think differently from women. 

When my wife and I first met, she was very excited to learn that we were both Taurus. She said that the Taurus are very compatible symbols. As time went by, we learned that we were perfect for each other. We were both great communicators, both always empathetic towards each other. 

I think that we both knew from the start that I was destined for womanhood and she was destined to become a lesbian. We both embraced or destinies and are truly happy together. 

I think that is why I am so happy for having the opportunity to be my true self. It's more of the fact that people see and treat me as a woman and I am able to respond and interact with society as a woman. Was it the estrogen or is my brain female? I believe that it's both that have made me the woman I am today. 

♥️Sophie♥️

[42CSurprise!]

...One little book that rang true early on is by Frank Herbert.

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

Along that line I was very moved by a simple book by Jerry Jampolsky called Love is Letting Go of Fear.  I also appreciate Byon Katie's book Loving What Is.  Both contributed along the way to my beginning to release shame and learn to find acceptance.  That has been a long journey.  In many ways this website and the conversation here have allowed me to come to terms with what has at times been the greatest challenge.  Yes, crossdressing has been part of my journey and was definitely rooted in trauma from childhood.  But acceptance of a body that has never quite met the standard held in my mind of what a boy/man should look like has been really difficult.  When I learned there are men with breasts who are wearing brassieres it first tickled the erotic elements of my experience.  I know that can be part of the journey but I learned it was not the most important part.  Rather it has always been about acceptance of the body in which I live my life... my body is the vehicle that allows me to live in this world.

I've spent time in 12 Step rooms with folks who hate their bodies.  I've come to understand that too is rooted in trauma.  We may not hate our bodies but we have needed to come to terms with the reality our bodies don't fit the stereotype of what a man should look like.  That I have breasts is a simple statement of fact, not a judgment.  I've done nothing wrong.  I'm not obligated to get rid of my breasts so I can be acceptable.  Instead I'm invited to accept myself exactly as I am.  We do that well here and I'm grateful.  From that place of acceptance, how we choose to live our lives is completely up to us.  Sophie chose to transition.  Birdie chooses to live as a woman with her body exactly as it is.  Most of us choose to live as men, sometimes sharing our curves and our intimate wardrobe, sometimes keeping those things private.  It is all good.  Loving what is while letting go of fear really releases us from the challenge of being different.  Shame is not our friend.  Kindness toward self and other is...

[Justagirl💃]

I never could understand how so many men could not see things or have the slightest clue on how to sense and understand how a.woman actually feels in certain situations. I realize now, that men truly do think differently from women.

OMG yes, men are clueless even when the hints are so obvious. 

I have always got it, and then sat back and wondered why they didn't. 

When a girl says, "I really like this blouse" a few weeks before her birthday, that means 'buy me this and I'll be happy!

If you come home with a birthday card and a gift card for the wrong store, you blew it!

[Parity]

So, we have discussed many things here.  We often talk about clothing, hair, and unwanted hair.  I have mentioned that I always have kept my arm hair trimmed and short.  It's very light, as is all my hair, in color softness and amount.  Leg hair has been gone for 30 years.  I have never had under arm hair.  I mentioned I recently let the razor slide over my chest and remove the little there and how much better I feel and look.  I hesitated because I spent a lot of time in and around the water and a little hair I felt made me less noticeable. A delusion I'm sure.

  My new question is:  Do any of you here take the personal grooming a bit further?  Over the years I have taken to hand and nail care.  We talked about how one shows there hands when asked.  Up, down etc.  What about manicures?  It is a bit of a thing for men to get a manicure and have their nails done.  Men with painted nails isn't a new thing.  Personally I haven't gone with darker colors, would like to , but have used softer and mostly clear polish.  I don't have any problem with it.  Others ever have the urge to or care for your nails in such a way?

[p.r.1974]

I have had issues with splitting nails from the outer edge to a good way towards the center. That all stopped when I went to the salon and got them done with dip. I get them in all sorts of colors depending on mood and what events or holidays may be coming up. If dinosaurs have an issue with it, it is their issue.

[Parity]

I have had the same issues. A few would split from the end to the cuticle right down the middle.  The end would always catch on things and rip from that point.   A lot of issues cleared up once I began taking care of them like that.  

[Evolver]

 My new question is:  Do any of you here take the personal grooming a bit further? 

Gawd, where do I start? I did none of the following things a couple of years ago!

My longer hair demands to be looked after better. Every second day I skip shampoo, to allow the natural oils in the scalp to do their thing, but I use conditioner every single day. I style it depending on how I feel at the time, sometimes parting it off-center and tucking the short side behind that ear and letting the other side drape over that ear. I’ll check my look in the mirror after every time I use the bathroom and make any necessary adjustments.  I use plenty of hairspray if I don't tie it up and it's a bit windy outdoors. If I do tie it up, I use softer, wider bands instead of those skinny elastic ones which do weaken and break your hair (big shout out to my hairdresser Elizabeth for that advice!). And last thing before bedtime, I brush my hair out, standing in front of the mirror in my nightie, smiling at what I see.

I used to cut my fingernails back hard due to my job but decided to start letting them grow over a year ago after noticing that our apprentice kept hers long. I started filing them in a rounded shape instead of clipping them straighter. Once they did grow, I also had trouble with them splitting and chipping, so I started using a clear gel on them. An unexpected bonus is that under certain light conditions, they glow hot pink!

I shave every day now instead of just two or three days a week. Once a week I shave my underarms. Also once a week I trim my eyebrows, buzzing them with the #4 comb on my groomer, going against the grain. Might try the #3 soon!