Caught..

[40Cofficeguy89]

Was asked by a female colleague at my office if I was wearing a bra.. I just answered with yes.. that I have gyn and I need it for support. She responded with “oh okay” and that’s that. I’m nervous that I will become the gossip of our office floor..I thought I was pretty good with my concealment but I think the back straps is what gave me away.. regardless I’m not going to stop wearing what I need.. rabbit trail for a bit tho I went in to get sized and was measured at a 38D. Which I think is the same as 40c but since my last post a few months ago I’ve lost about 10 pounds but my boobs stay the same size.

[tryingtoaccept]

Hopefully that will be the end of it and nothing else said.  I think you handled it better then I would have.  I like to think that's how I would handle it but probably would have been stumble over my words.

[Parity]

Sounds like you handled it rather well.  Life goes on.
I also think its easier for a woman to spot than a man.  They know what to look for.  I know I tend to look at myself closer to see how I present than I used to.

[42CSurprise!]

I note the stretching over your breasts in the front of you shirt... another reason that men here often prefer shirts designed for women that provide a bit more room in the front.  I agree  you handled that very well.  Bands and straps are not easy to hide.  That is the reason I tend to prefer layers.  Of course, I'm not going to the office every day so I don't have to contend with those situations.

Glad you're taking care of yourself.

[WPW717]

Is that a small tear in the back on the left over the shoulder strap?

[blad]

If you are looking for a bra, there is a slight give away with the tension of the shirt over the cups. But the back view I think gets particularly obvious if there is any tension from bending over etc.

Just part of life wearing a bra under dress shirts or tee shirts I think. One reason I always stick with pattern shirts, particularly darker ones. In winter a flannel shirt is no problem at all.

The combination of breast projection and any hint of a bra makes it particularly obvious as it is like double factor authentication.

It sounds like you handled it well. I think most women can relate to needing a bra.

Ideally we just want to fly under the radar while wearing the bras we need.

[Sophie]

I hope that you are ok emotionally with everything that may come your way. I was in high school when my "secret " was revealed. Things were ok for me once I took away their power to tease me. 

It sounds like you have already taken the right steps. You have already admitted that you are wearing a bra. You already said that you need to wear a bra for support.  Anything you hear beyond that is harassment! 

I'm sure that the woman who asked you about your bra put her bra on for all the same reasons as yourself. I can definitely sympathize with you. When I was still identifying as male, I wore a 38G/H in most of my bras. I had no choice but to wear a bra. I work for a catholic based medical system with a rather old fashioned dress code. My boss had actually thanked me for wearing a bra because females were required to wear a bra at work no matter their breast size. I had bigger boobs than all the ladies I worked with, but I technically was required to wear a bra. I was however required to wear a tie that looked silly as it was always hanging out from my boobs.

As long as you there is nothing saying that you can't wear a bra, you need to look and feel your best. Don't be afraid to own it! Even if you go out and get yourself a nice push up bra! Show what you got and be bold, be brave, and be you!

[Justagirl💃]

 I work for a catholic based medical system with a rather old fashioned dress code. 

I attend a day-centre with a very conservative 'puritan style' dress code and beliefs. Gender bending is not allowed, and dress codes are strict. 

I only get away with wearing a bra is because it was prescribed by my doctor to address neck pain.

Welcome to Texas!

[40Cofficeguy89]

I’m in Florida and specifically where I live it’s pretty conservative, I appreciate all the comments in regards to the situation, I did approach the woman today and brought up the subject. I did ask if she could please respect my privacy and not say anything or spread gossip about it. She agreed to it but part of me has my doubts. People suck and are hard to trust. Regardless I asked her how she was able to notice and she said when I bent over to grab some boxes for a colleague she notice the straps and band on my shirt and also saw the bumps on the front. So maybe I do need to stick to darker shirts and patterns, it was also mentioned that woman shirts are better at hiding it because it accommodates the bumps in the front. But do they make business professional shirts that could look okay ? If so suggestions would be appreciated! I have embraced it and accepted it and actually like the push ups better, they seem to give better support! 

[Justagirl💃]

Torrid has a nice selection of 'blouses' that will pass as dress shirts. 
I use the 'Harper' line when I want to dress up, but they have many options available. 

The Harper line is a bit lower cut, but at a DDD it's not like I can hide them anyways. 

They also have quite the selection of 'rock band shirts' that come in darker colours. Just a thought when your might be out and about. When I used to try and hide in 'boy-mode', dark colours were my best friends. 

[Parity]

  As I come back here to read the latest thoughts in this thread, "Caught", I can't help but reflect on the title.
In no offense to the original poster, 40Cofficegy89, the word caught just doesn't sit well with me.  I feel as long as I, we, use that type of verbiage it implies we did something wrong and we got caught, doing something wrong, and must now endure it's punishment.  In my mind I try and tell myself my wearing a bra has been noticed. I have been observed wearing...  If a glance or words from someone are spoken I have already taken ownership of the situation and control it.  I'm not in a defense mode rather in a place of mind that my words, actions and or reaction will be one that will not allow the situation to go south. For me that's when perspiration begins and I'm already on defense.  
  I know we just say it flippantly and don't intend it to be in a bad or negative manor.  I just find it's healthier for my own peace of mind to think of it in that way.

Cheers friends

[Sophie]

I have to agree with that. I don't remember ever actually getting "caught ". I had many, many inquiries as I was Assigned Male at Birth. I never made alot of effort to conceal the fact that I wore a bra. At least no more than any other woman would. That was the main reason why I started wearing ladies blouses instead of men's shirts. The gapping that occurred across my chest was giving a peep show of my bra! 

This forum has enabled many men and transgendered women a place to tell our stories and share our experiences. 40Cofficeguy, I think that I understand how you feel. However, you did nothing wrong. You are just looking for the same comfort, support and shape that the lady gets to have without question every day. You have nothing to hide, most of us here in the acceptance portion of the forum find peace and acceptance of being blessed with breasts. 

♥️Sophie♥️

[blad]

We all likely have different tolerance levels of being concerned about whether our bra is noticed or not. 

Variables such as the region we live in and the people we are among such as strangers, friends, relatives, close family, coworkers, etc.

In a perfect world none of these would matter as we simply focus on our own needs and comfort. There is also the issue of self confidence to present yourself to the world as best suits your needs vs our concern how we perceive others potential judgement.  

It is sort of a spectrum of confidence.

[Moobzie]

"Caught" doesn't necessarily mean "something wrong".
It also means (depending on context):
- catching a baseball;
- catching a fish;
- catching a criminal (i.e., capturing)
- seeing something (catching your eye, caught my eye), as in "spotted".
If someone "spotted" the fact I was wearing a bra it doesn't mean I did wrong and was "caught" - as in being nabbed by morality police.  It simply means someone saw the fact I had a bras on.
Its use in the thread seemed to be simply that.

[Johndoe1]

If you are looking for a bra, there is a slight give away with the tension of the shirt over the cups. But the back view I think gets particularly obvious if there is any tension from bending over etc.

Just part of life wearing a bra under dress shirts or tee shirts I think. One reason I always stick with pattern shirts, particularly darker ones. In winter a flannel shirt is no problem at all.

The combination of breast projection and any hint of a bra makes it particularly obvious as it is like double factor authentication.

It sounds like you handled it well. I think most women can relate to needing a bra.

Ideally we just want to fly under the radar while wearing the bras we need.

And this is why I make the effort to wear a layering tank under my tops over my bras. It reduces the tension not only over the cups, but across the back as well. I tried it with a tee shirt, but it was too bulky and too warm. I discovered that women's layering tanks are made to be worn under tops and were cool and reduced the tension and why women wear them under their tops.