Hiding becomes more difficult

[gotgyne]

Meanwhile I'm at a stage, that my breasts are more difficult to hide from views of others as some months earlier. I've added a pic with a sweatshirt. That's how (at least) children from below see my breasts. I must admit that I wear the pointy Triumph Doreen bra and of course it's the angle of the photo from my mobile, that enhances it a bit. From above it seems to be less. But I must face the possibility that some child may say to the mother "look mom, this man has got breasts".

I am wearing my support and medical compression pantyhose since the year 2000 with shorts and in fact a young boy asked his father "why does this man wear pantyhose"? He became red and obviously was much embarrassed. I told him not to worry and said "I like intelligent questions" and told the boy in simple words that my legs need these to function properly.

But what if a child comes with the "bra question"? Children are curious, that's normal. I simply could say "I have breasts". What would you do?

[Justagirl💃]

And if somebody does question, why does it matter?

We Are Who We Are, and exactly the way God made us. People that make our business their business are absolutely in the wrong.

Children will always ask questions and that's normal, and so you answered their questions effectively. Because normally children don't have an agenda with their questions.

[AlfaQ]

The Doreen Delicate has less pointy cups than the regular one if you are ever concerned about projection.  It has the same quality and all day comfort.  I have both versions.  

[gotgyne]

Unfortunately the Doreen Delicate is not available in my country. But I have quite a few other bras and among them several with less projection.

[Johndoe1]

First off you have to do what's best for you. And if being supported and contained is what's best for your comfort and health then so be it.

Second, there's ways to tone down the appearance. As someone who is also in the same boat, and there's a few of us too, well endowed women give us clues and suggestions on how to deal with this. Modesty becomes a keyword. Dressing modestly. Presenting modestly. Form fitted tops are a giveaway. Baggy tops is out as well. Layering helps. Muted solids and muted patterns. Differtent bra styles. Nothing that draws attention to the chest. How many times have you noticed a woman's chest one day but not the next? I call this hiding in plain sight. This is a tactic women use all the time. It works for me and others too. 

As I have said before, everyone's breasts are beautiful. So are yours. There's nothing to be ashamed of. And there's no shame in needing and wearing breast support. I have found attention to detail and an air of confidence and no one gives a second glance. As a matter of fact, I get less notices now than before I started wearing a bra. I will take that all the time. 

[Justagirl💃]

Interesting conversation with the CNA this morning where she admitted that well over half of all the male patients over 50 that she takes care of have gynecomastia. Varying degrees of it, mostly not noticeable unless their shirt is off. There are a few however, that are rather noticeable.

It's very common!

She never brings it up in conversation, because it's not professional, and just provides the services that she's required to do.

She did say that my condition is extremely rare and I'm the very first case that she has ever come across. So I educated her to the fact that one in 1500 children is born intersex within varying degrees. She had no idea that the number was that high. It's actually as common as red hair. Her and everyone else has probably met plenty of intersex people in their lives and just never knew it.

We have become very close friends, and have plenty of girl talk conversations.

[NoWorries25]

Yes, covertness can only be exercised for a certain period of time.   I could probably be 'covert' for a while longer, but I decided to accept the inevitable and just enjoy myself. 

Those direct questions are sometimes easier to address than the little whispers that can be quite obvious. 

I think the words for all who are involved may be the advice that mothers give their daughters.  Head Up!  Shoulders Back. Spine straight. Smile!  (Make the world a better place)

There is nothing wrong with wearing whatever you need to make yoor life better.- either physically or emotionally. ----imho

[AlfaQ]

I totally agree and today's young people are not at all bothered.  Clothes including underwear have no gender.  Look at the Georgian aristocracy with their wigs, heels and makeup. 

[Johndoe1]

I read an article recently where a young male fashion reporter for one of the New York fashion magazines was assigned to write about gendered clothing on the opposite gender. He decided he would wear a skirt and heels to several New York City neighborhoods and get the kids reactions. He wore several different skirts and heels to these neighborhoods, which were not on the Upper East Side and had a photographer record the responses. In all cases he wasn't ever challenged about his choices and was accepted on face value, including a group of boys playing basketball in a public park. A group he admitted was afraid something would be said. Instead they asked him if he wanted to shoot hoops. 

[NoWorries25]

Well, why hide it?  That's easy to say, but hard to execute at times.  Like any 'problem' that one has, it can become an all-consuming issue.  I am a relatively new comer to the 'club,' but I don't give a second hought to doing what I have to do. And I wear bras almost 100% of the time.   (Granted, I am not a swimming pool life guard that might prove more interesting, but certainly managable.)  Just watch "Bay Watch" sometime.  

I am just thankful every day that the 'features' that I have are mostly cosmetic.  No doubt those who walk with a cane or use a wheelchair would gladly trade.  Sure, it may be a bit of an inconvenience, but it should never cause you shame.

At least, that is my opinion.

[Justagirl💃]

As stated above, "hiding becomes hard to execute."

Yes, absolutely! If your intention is to go completely unnoticed amongst your peers then drastic measures are necessary in minor to moderate cases, but not possible in the least in major cases. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor.

I know this isn't a religious forum however, God doesn't make mistakes. We are all built and formed exactly as we are supposed to be. That is the ultimate level of acceptance.

At the medical day-centre I attend because of my disabilities, management and staff know of my being intersex. However none of the other participants know my medical history. I started the program in boy mode and therefore am required to continue in boy mode, so androgynous attire is an absolute requirement. I do however keep my hair long and dress "cute." About half of the newer participants know me as ma'am, and the other half of the older participants know me as sir. I have absolutely no problem at all passing as ma'am and this means there is no unwanted responses from the people that see me as ma'am.

Now let's talk about the participants at the center that knew me in boy mode, and see me now. I am constantly being ridiculed by them with them telling me to cut off my hair and go back to bib overalls and baggy shirts. I basically pay them no mind. I didn't ask for their opinion and it means nothing to me. I refuse to hide Who I Really Am, and I have too many assets to be able to hide properly anyway.

About half of management and staff is very vocal about how I need to go back to boy mode. I have a male nurse that used to work in the local Men's prison before coming to work here. Some of his comments have been that I need to get a flat top haircut (mentioned almost on a daily basis), and that he would not be caught dead in a bra and would just deal with the pain and discomfort. To "man up" so to speak.

Again their opinion means nothing to me, it's my opinions about myself are what drive me.
We constantly lecture our teenagers not to be driven by peer pressure, yet many of us do exactly that. What are the societal norms and how do they get established? Are we really Bound by those? The vast majority of people don't fit the GI Joe/Barbie doll mold anyway, and so most of us don't fit the so-called societal norms.

Just be yourself, and who you are. People will either accept you or they will not, but that doesn't matter.

[50/50]

Colorado just passed a law that misgendering is a discriminatory act. Maybe moving there could be a option. So it’s against the law to mis gender someone.

[Justagirl💃]

Colorado just passed a law that misgendering is a discriminatory act. Maybe moving there could be a option. So it’s against the law to mis gender someone.

Very interesting

[Johndoe1]

Every time I go through a drive through window I am misgendered. Have been my whole life. I play with them now and watch their faces when I drive around! So much fun! Twurps!

[Justagirl💃]

Every time I go through a drive through window I am misgendered. Have been my whole life. I play with them now and watch their faces when I drive around! So much fun! Twurps!

Confused people are so funny too. 

I wore a baseball cap to the buffet and a lady accidentally ran into me. She said, "sorry sir....oh....I mean ma'am. Gosh I'm so sorry."