Gynecomstia Acceptance Poll

[42CSurprise!]

I responded to this on the Acceptance side of the website so won't cover that territory again.  I'd rather focus on the larger issue of how painful it is to be different, regardless of the thing that makes us different.  Adolescence is the time we're learning how to relate to our peer group as we come to terms with who we are.  Fitting in is important and kids can be incredibly picky and cruel. Funny, I occasionally visit a local grocery store that has a food court with amazingly good hot and cold food available.  I sometimes visit when kids from a nearby high school are there.  At this particular school there appears to be a thing about boys bleaching their hair which is cut fairly short.  The first time I saw ten or fifteen teens hanging around a table outside I was shocked.  That was last Spring.  I saw a similar group last week while having lunch with a friend.  Whatever that is about, the price of entry to that group is to bleach your hair.  All the teens were slender typical boys.  Those of us with soft bodies and fleshy chests were never going to be accepted by a crew like that.

But it could be anything that would separate us.  We could have brown skin. We could be nerds who really have no interest or social skills to engage.  You'd see us at tables on the periphery of the cafeteria.  Having a soft chest, or even what appear to be breasts insures we'll be ostracized and probably demeaned.  But the same can happen for many reasons.  In every situation, our first task is to stop shaming ourselves.  I really appreciate the fact we have the opportunity here to release the shame and begin simply accepting the reality of who we are.  The bodies and capabilities we've been given are in fact a gift.  I have a plaque on my refrigerator with a quote from Oscar Wilde that says "Be yourself.  Everyone else is taken."  How we do that is really up to us.  Clearly many men who spend time here have taken the reality of having breasts to buy brassieres that present our breasts in the way that suits us.  Personally, I'm rather delighted in how my breasts look and feel in my favorite brassiere.  I certainly don't flaunt them and often go without a brassiere if I'm in a social situation.  I dress conservatively and I doubt there are any folks in my life who notice my chest.  But in the same way it is nice to have a place where I have support for acceptance, the same men are will to share photos of their latest bra purchase and I can share photos of my voluptuous breasts.  We may be weird to most of the world, but we share our reality with men who understand.  Wonderful!  Being different is challenging.  Being accepted is a relief.

[oldguy]

Good point.
I guess I should have had the choice of D- Resigned. As I think about it myself. That is pretty much exactly where I'm feeling it.

We, who have dealt with this later in life, did not have to deal with the issues that adolescents did early in life.  So many stories of their trauma and resulting struggles.  

I am not sure if I could have handled that, with raising 5 younger siblings at 12 after my Mom died. 

While disrupting. it's not a big deal.  Just another underwear thing.  At 75, there are a lot of health things that are more important than boobs.  Still getting in 3 miles a day.

[Midagemoobs2]

Good point.
I guess I should have had the choice of D- Resigned. As I think about it myself. That is pretty much exactly where I'm feeling it.

Looking back, I had mild gynecomastia most of my teen life to 40s, so it was a B as I was largely unaware.  When I noticed it was more noticeable in pictures it became a C and I have to admit I wondered about surgery. I learned to dress so  it was less noticeable and use a mix of compression and eventually sports bras… I also took a hard look at myself now in my early 50s and realized my body has a soft look even when lifting - I concluded that surgery would be complex (thus at the high cost end) and results for people with similar age and bodies, seemed to me, underwhelming given cost effort and recovery. If I were younger and trimmer I might think otherwise. So now late 50s and perhaps more self confident and better able to use a variety of support given growth, I am more D or B, sometimes A- or even A.

[42CSurprise!]

Good point.
I guess I should have had the choice of D- Resigned. As I think about it myself. That is pretty much exactly where I'm feeling it.

Looking back, I had mild gynecomastia most of my teen life to 40s, so it was a B as I was largely unaware.  When I noticed it was more noticeable in pictures it became a C and I have to admit I wondered about surgery. I learned to dress so  it was less noticeable and use a mix of compression and eventually sports bras… I also took a hard look at myself now in my early 50s and realized my body has a soft look even when lifting - I concluded that surgery would be complex (thus at the high cost end) and results for people with similar age and bodies, seemed to me, underwhelming given cost effort and recovery. If I were younger and trimmer I might think otherwise. So now late 50s and perhaps more self confident and better able to use a variety of support given growth, I am more D or B, sometimes A- or even A.

I too have had a "soft" body and nothing I did in the weight room gave me a hard body.  I've been aware that human bodies change as the years add up but it has been quite a surprise to witness how my body has changed as I moved through the seventies and now four years into my eighties.  I weigh less that I did 18 years ago but my body has changed dramatically.  Not only have I developed breasts but my bottom has filled out.  I now understand that reduced testosterone has allowed estrogen to have its way with me.  I'm not so foolish that I'll fight with Mother Nature.  That is a losing proposition.  There is nothing sadder than an older person who has stretched the skin on their face believing it will be anything other than grotesque.  Yes, I want to take care of my body and I do that.  But I will never be a young man again and things I was able to do quite easily then, are no longer realistic.  I hope to age gracefully and to appreciate THIS body that continues to carry me through life. Self-acceptance is key and that is what many of us are doing with regard to the breasts that are growing on our chests.  Enjoy the ride everyone.  The alternative is to suffer... because the problem is ultimately between our ears, not on our chests.

[oldguy]

I too have had a "soft" body and nothing I did in the weight room gave me a hard body.  I've been aware that human bodies change as the years add up but it has been quite a surprise to witness how my body has changed as I moved through the seventies and now four years into my eighties.  I weigh less that I did 18 years ago but my body has changed dramatically.  Not only have I developed breasts but my bottom has filled out.  I now understand that reduced testosterone has allowed estrogen to have its way with me.  I'm not so foolish that I'll fight with Mother Nature.  That is a losing proposition.  There is nothing sadder than an older person who has stretched the skin on their face believing it will be anything other than grotesque.  Yes, I want to take care of my body and I do that.  But I will never be a young man again and things I was able to do quite easily then, are no longer realistic.  I hope to age gracefully and to appreciate THIS body that continues to carry me through life. Self-acceptance is key and that is what many of us are doing with regard to the breasts that are growing on our chests.  Enjoy the ride everyone.  The alternative is to suffer... because the problem is ultimately between our ears, not on our chests.

So poignant and very well shared.  Thank You.