28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno

[ruinedlife]

Hi everyone,

This is the first time I've ever spoken to anyone about my problem.

I've had gyno since I hit puberty and needless to say, I've never had a real life.  The teasing I received for all those years crippled me; pure torture.  I have never taken my shirt off in front of anyone (including my ex girlfriend) since the 8th grade.

I have to wear two shirts in the summer: a tight t-shirt underneath and a thicker t-shirt on top.  On top of that, I wear a light vest to cover up any sign of my condition.

I have no job.  I can't wear uniforms or any clothing that might show my condition.  If anyone ever said anything about it at this point, I'd freak out.  I have to rear my shoulders back when I walk so as to "flatten" my chest out.  I avoid bending over.   Not a day goes by that I'm not aware of this.

I managed to lose 70lbs and slim way down, but they remained.  I tried working out my chest hard, but they remained.  My life has been ruined, all because of two f'ng lumps in my chest.

I need them gone.  I want to live a normal life.  I'm in Ontario, Canada and I don't know anything about the surgery or whether I can get OHIP to cover it.  

As of now, I'm way too ashamed and embarassed to mention this to a doctor.  I'm terrified of surgery.  My family doesn't even know I have this problem.  I don't know what to do.

Ugh, I don't know.. I want to live a normal life and I don't know how to approach a doctor.

Any suggestions would be really appreciated.  I just want a life.

[theguy]

Wow, it sounds like this is a huge problem for you.  My advice for you is to do your research and find a good doctor that knows exactly what they're doing -  a PS that specializes in gynecomastia.  Then book a date for an appointment and meet with him/her.  If money is a big concern then you can always finance it.  A few thousand spread out over a few years shouldn't be too big of a headache.  I think the important thing to remember is that this isn't brain cancer, it's not a terminal illness, and it is curable.  Also, in this day and age you can go get surgery and not look like Freddy Kruger just got through with you.  We're all pretty lucky to have access to all this incredible medical technology.  A few years back, if you got the surgery - you'd have an enormous scar about 2 - 3 inches long below your nipple plus contorted looking nipples as well.  Probably not worth the trade off for most people.  But today, it's a different story.  Long story short, call the doc asap -  the person answering the phone will not speak critically of you.

[phantom]

Hello ruinedlife

You finding this forum and having the courage is the first glimmer of hope you are showing to yourself that you can deal with this problem - so well done on that one!

I am from the UK so have little knowledge on the Canadian health-care system.  You may have noticed that there is a section specifically for Canada on the main page of the forum, so you can copy and past you initial post into a new one there.

However, from what I have read from other Canadian guys on here, you might be able to have part of the surgery paid for, I think for any breast or glandular tissue removal, but not for liposuction for fat removal.  I could be very wrong, so please Canadian guys, put me right on this!

As for approaching your normal doctor, remember, he or she  deals with every kind of problem you can possibly think of.  Whilst our problems are everything to us, to a doctor, it's all part of their job.  I know my doctor was very interested in my case because she'd never dealt with or followed a case of gynaecomastia and male chest reduction.  She has been incredibly supportive.

So how do you approach your doctor?  Make is as simple as possible.  "Hi, I think I have gynaecomastia and it's really affecting my daily life.  I'd like to know how you can help?"  It's THAT simple.  If you are not well, either physically or mentally, it is your doctor's ethical obligation to see you right.

We all feel anxious about seeing out doctor or dentist, but remember, this is what they do for a living and they are probably the most unshockable people your could meet.  They are their to help you and nothing makes a doctor feel good inside like a patient that finds the courage to use them for what they are paid for!

There is no rush for you to do anything about your situation.  But for as long as you choose not to do anything about it, the longer you choose to be your own prisoner.

Best wishes.

[GodWasAngry]

We all feel anxious about seeing out doctor or dentist, but remember, this is what they do for a living and they are probably the most unshockable people your could meet.  They are their to help you and nothing makes a doctor feel good inside like a patient that finds the courage to use them for what they are paid for!

exactly what i was gonna write.. and thats exactly what i told myself when i went to the doctor 2 days ago..

[Grandpa Bambu]

Hi everyone,

This is the first time I've ever spoken to anyone about my problem.

Congrats Dude! That's the first and most important step...

I've had gyno since I hit puberty and needless to say, I've never had a real life.  The teasing I received for all those years crippled me; pure torture.  I have never taken my shirt off in front of anyone (including my ex girlfriend) since the 8th grade.

I have to wear two shirts in the summer: a tight t-shirt underneath and a thicker t-shirt on top.  On top of that, I wear a light vest to cover up any sign of my condition.

I have no job.  I can't wear uniforms or any clothing that might show my condition.  If anyone ever said anything about it at this point, I'd freak out.  I have to rear my shoulders back when I walk so as to "flatten" my chest out.  I avoid bending over.   Not a day goes by that I'm not aware of this.

I managed to lose 70lbs and slim way down, but they remained.  I tried working out my chest hard, but they remained.  My life has been ruined, all because of two f'ng lumps in my chest.

Your story is almost identical to most of us here on Gyne.org. You are not alone Bratha!  

I need them gone.  I want to live a normal life.  I'm in Ontario, Canada and I don't know anything about the surgery or whether I can get OHIP to cover it.

Living a 'manageable' life is just a one and a half hour surgery away.

I recommend you give Dr. John 'Craig' Fielding a call....

Dr. J. Craig Fielding,  M.D.,  F.R.C.S.  (C)
Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery

2425 Bloor Street West
Suite #401
Toronto, Ontario Canada
M6S 4W4

Tel.  416.766.8890

Dr. Fielding's Gynecomastia Reduction Surgery is covered by O.H.I.P, with a slight snag. OHIP will not pay out for the Lipo portion of the proceedure. You have to pay for Lipo yourself and ranges anywheres from $1100 to $1600.

As of now, I'm way too ashamed and embarassed to mention this to a doctor.  I'm terrified of surgery.  My family doesn't even know I have this problem.  I don't know what to do.

First thing you should do is to make an appointment for a consultation with Dr. Fielding. During the consult, you can express your fears and anxieties to him.

Ugh, I don't know.. I want to live a normal life and I don't know how to approach a doctor.

Just call Dr. Fielding's office, 'Leslie' (Doc Fielding's secretary) will book your appointment. Just tell Leslie thay you would like to book an appointment to see Dr. Fielding for Gynecomastia. They handle lots of Gyne cases, there's no need to be embarrassed Dude.

Any suggestions would be really appreciated.  I just want a life.

Book a consultation, have surgery, a whole new life is waiting for you on the 'Other Side'.....  

The following is from Dr. Frank Lista's (a Plastic Surgeon in Mississauga) Website.....

Your new look

Gynecomastia surgery can enhance your appearance and self-confidence, but it won't necessarily change your looks to match your ideal. Before you decide to have surgery, think carefully about your expectations and discuss them frankly with your plastic surgeon.

The results of the procedure are significant and permanent. If your expectations are realistic, chances are good that you'll be very satisfied with your new look.[/color]

You have to have 'Realistic Expectaions' of surgery results....

Have a look at this video.

Also, have a look at my 'Before' and 'After' pics....
Click on the 'Pics' link in my Sig below....

John.[/b]

[mrfantastic5]

i have to go with a different form of advice here...

many people have gyno

many people are incredibly ugly/fat

but they don't live in dorment and basically shelter themselves.

everyone has been teased about something.  the kind of attitude you need to have to be succesful in life, as well as enjoy it is a ... "i dont give a darn what anyone else thinks of me" attitude.

if people dont like the fact that you have gyno.. well darn them.  I don't see how an aesthetic condition can completely ruin your life...  

Yes, gyno is crippleing.  But it is a superficial condition.  IT has many psycholoogical components to it, but nonetheless.. it is still a superficial condition.  People like you suffer from body dysmorphic disorder.  Yes, you might have gyno.. But that does not make you some kind of freak...

Also i firmly believe people who get this worked about about gyno will eventually develope some other thing to get worked up over.

my advice.  Yes get surgery.  But also get psychological help.

[Round_1]

yeah i felt like you for years untilll the point where summer came around and i said darn it and went to a doctor, this was only a month ago. you should see a doctor, nobody in my family knows yet about this but they will find out some day. glad you found a place where you can talk about a comon problem...  but see a doctor or go strait to a plastic surgen.... to get over the fears of surgery watch dr 90210 lol...

my 2 cents, hope the best for you

[ruinedlife]

" many people have gyno

many people are incredibly ugly/fat

but they don't live in dorment and basically shelter themselves. "

Then you're a stronger and better man than me, congratulations.  

You don't know the hell I live in, the shame and the torment I received for half of my life.   I can't take my shirt off, I have to sweat like a pig in summer, I can't go to the beach, I can't swim, I'm afraid to get close to girls.  I have developed crippling social anxiety (a real and stifling psychological disorder that ruins lives) all because of my fucking breasts.

You don't know the torture I received for this EVERY SINGLE DAY and the torture I would still receive should I say "darn what people think".  

I'd end up in a jail cell is what would happen.  The first person to torment me about it would have the shit beaten out of them.

Thanks to everyone else who understands.  I'm finally beginning to think about getting rid of this demon that's destroyed my life.  

For years, I've visualized what it would be like to walk down a hallway in just a tshirt.  It would feel sooo good, I would feel so confident (I'm in good shape right now minus the gyno) and my life would change completely.

[ruinedlife]

" Also i firmly believe people who get this worked about about gyno will eventually develope some other thing to get worked up over. "

Absolutely DEAD WRONG.  From puberty onwards I was TORTURED every day, *ALL* BECAUSE OF MY BREASTS.   Directly (insults, shoves, grabbing my breasts) and indirectly (staring, laughing, pointing, whispering).  Even my cousins who I'm very close with did the same thing to me.  I had to stop swimming in their pool, I couldn't have fun with them, or anyone else.

I have many friends (thankfully I live in an apartment complex and managed to make friends with people here), all of whom think highly of me and try to help, but none of them know what's really wrong with me.  They all think it's just social anxiety without any real cause.  None of them know about my gyno.  I'm not "worked up" over this; it ruined my life.  I had a gorgeous girlfriend that I couldn't take my shirt off with.   I got very lucky that she pursued me for so long and didn't give up when I resisted her.  Now that she's gone (she became a party girl and cheated on me), I'm f**ed.

The only thing that bothers me is my f**king gyno.  Every problem in my life comes right back to the gyno.  EVERYTHING.

[ruinedlife]

To everyone else, thank you!

That comment about fat people/ugly people who get by and live "just fine".. I was one of them.  I was obese and ugly, but there was something I could DO ABOUT IT on my own and I DID!  I got into great shape (from 240lbs to 165 and even my face became a LOT nicer to look at) and girls think I'm hot!!   I'm amazed how many comments I've gotten from girls, real world and online.

But the *saddest, most cripping* thing is I can't do a damn thing because I can't take my fucking shirt(s) off or wear just a single shirt.

Body dysmorphia (pathological preoccupation with an imagined or *slight* physical defect of one's body) my ass.   I HAVE MANTITS.  I *LOVE* the rest of my body; I've gotten into great shape through weights, cardio and diet.  

No one likes to see guys with mantits; it makes them uncomfortable, sorry.. It's terrible, but true.  That's just how life is.  That's why they react like that.

I can't change other people, but I CAN change myself.  

I like people, I wish I could be around them more, but I can't, not yet.  If my chest were semi f**cing flat, I would be living a really, really nice life.

[Grandpa Bambu]

No one likes to see guys with mantits; it makes them uncomfortable, sorry.. It's terrible, but true.  That's just how life is.  That's why they react like that.

It's more of a case of what is going on in your head, not others... Gyne guys feel way more uncomfortable with themselves and their condition than that of how others feel when they are with you.

I disagree with your statement that "No one likes to see guys with manteats". I for one, don't care if a guy has moobs ( except for the ones that I had ). I'm sure many others feel the same way. You don't love yourself because of your moobs right? Therefore, you 'think' that no one else could ever love you also. That is farthest from the truth. I have been married for 14 years now and just last February had my Gyne removed. My wife loved me when I had Gyne and she loves me now. You'd be surprised how many women aren't bothered by moobs. I had many gf's, and not one of them had any issues with my Gyne. However, the havoc that was going on with me psychologically was brutal. A few members here say that 'attitued' is everything, and it is. You have to try and have a positive attitude. Having a poor attitude about yourself and life is way more unattractive than having moobs. Trust me on that one Dude....  

I understand how you feel tho my friend. It's very difficult to maintain a positive frame of mind when you are feeling like crap because of your Gyne. Bin-Der-Dun-Dat....  You feel so bad that you just want to crawl under a rock and die. I know the feeling well Dude.

You went from 240 to 165..... Congrats!   That's no easy feat. I did the same thing. I went from 230 lbs to 165 lbs. The moobs were smaller but still remaind :-/. In 1990, I went down to 148 pounds (at 6 feet) and still, the moobs remained. Surgery was the only option. I just didn't know it at the time.

John.

[ruinedlife]

"It's more of a case of what is going on in your head, not others."

Disagree, completely.  We're social creatures and constant rejection FROM OUR PEERS hurts, A LOT.  There is no getting around this.  If you can tolerate it, then congratulations.  I for one would prefer to go through life like any other normal fn guy and not have to hear and see that.

Oh well, I came here for support on getting rid of them.. not "accept who are you" B.S.  I heard the same thing when I was overweight.  I did something about and now girls think I'm hot and guys give me props (you have no idea how much easier it is to make friends because of this).  That's a nice f'n nicer than constant "ewws" and rejection.

Now if I could just FEEL THE SAME WAY without my TWO SHIRTS on, I could do anything.

[ruinedlife]

You know, another thing..

Putting in 5 years of hard, hard work to have a nice body and having two big fucking chunks on my chest ruining that effort is horrible.  Everyone wants nice, normal pecs when they work out hard.  I work for them and I deserve to have them.

As I said, I love the rest of my body.  I love who I am inside, I know who I am but I cannot get past the fact that I have big honkers that people notice (and comment, and laugh, sneer, etc, etc..) if I'm not in the right clothing that makes me sweat like a beast.  I want to be normal, sorry.

I deserve to be able to have results from my efforts.

I am very glad to hear that surgery might be a LOT less expensive than I thought.

[ruinedlife]

I'm sorry for the outbursts but as you can see, this is how passionately I feel about this.  Virtually every negative thing in my life traces right back to my breasts.

[Grandpa Bambu]

"It's more of a case of what is going on in your head, not others."

Disagree, completely.  We're social creatures and constant rejection FROM OUR PEERS hurts, A LOT.

Dude, trust me, I know your pain. I've been there....

I for one would prefer to go through life like any other normal fn guy and not have to hear and see that.

I hear you on that Dude....

Oh well, I came here for support on getting rid of them.. not "accept who are you" B.S.

Dude, if you want to 'get rid of them' have a look at the fifth post in this thread!

I heard the same thing when I was overweight.  I did something about and now girls think I'm hot and guys give me props (you have no idea how much easier it is to make friends because of this).  That's a nice f'n nicer than constant "ewws" and rejection.

So, if girls think you're hot, and guys give you props, then what is the problem? You feel less rejected. You feel that your friends and society in general are treating you different cuz you lost weight? Dude, I've been thru all that also. It's an awesome feeling...  

However, if you have social acceptance now as a result of losing weight, and you still preach....

"Now if I could just FEEL THE SAME WAY without my TWO SHIRTS on, I could do anything.

'If I could just FEEL THE SAME WAY?

You see my friend, it all comes down to how you 'feel' and what is going on inside your head. Not what others think and feel.....    

John.