Should I follw my dream?

[dfoush21]

Now I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but put yourself in my shoes first. I’m a newly graduated high school senior that lives in North Carolina, and I plan to move to Chicago to go to community college and start a life of my own, and follow my dreams of being an engineer. I’ve never been there before and I don’t know anybody up there.  So I will mostly likely be homeless when I get there . This may sound weird but I kind of really don't mind it because my whole  life my family and peers have been calling me soft and weak, so I believe this is a chance to prove them wrong ( I also need to prove to myself as well and become a man). I had graduation money given to me for a ticket and almost enough for first months rent for cheap apartment with a roommate. But I gave it to my parents  to help them pay bills, they gave me there word that they would pay me back on 3 occasions, also  they are highly against me moving there. They haven’t yet , so I came up with $160 by selling my Xbox 360 for a train ticket. My mom doesn’t have a job and I can’t get one because I have no experience and this economic situation doesn’t help either. My $160 has diminished to $100 because I had to give it to the family for grocery money with them saying they would pay me back again. Now I’m getting just enough money for a train ticket In a week from an odd job  and I told my mother I was going to leave next month and asked her could she give me what she  owed me or a little bit of  money but she is not going to give me the money unless I wait until January.  I told her I can’t because it is cutting  it too close to the  schools’ deadline, I would have to pay out of state tuition , and I don’t believe they would have money because they don’t want me to leave, plus I can’t stay in this house all day for another 3 months with my mother. I can’t attend school here because I live in a rural area were buses don’t run and the family car isn’t reliable. I just want to start a life, I literally have no friends, I haven’t had a girlfriend since middle school and my family  just make fun of me about it. I know this is a big risk but I’m willing to take it. I want LIVE LIFE because it is too short. What should I do?

[hammer]

I would like to say, go for it, but instead I am going to say take a deep breath, step back and think this over! I know that you will say, Bob, I have been thinking it over! I been going over it in my head for a long time now! I say this because I have been there done it! I left home as soon as I graduated but I had a job and I never was without work. Then at 20 I joined the Navy and saw the world, and I mean the world, six of the seven continents!

You can do this, but first things first! Take care of things at home. I know it seems like hell there right now, but running from that wil not make that any better. Help gets things in order at home, if you have to wait to move on, it will just make you more mature, and a better man by making things right at home for your mom.

I know that this is not what you want to hear right now, but as I said, I have been there, I have 4 grown adult children and this is what I would want to see from them, in fact my youngest daughter graduates from collage in Dec and will enter the Navy in March.  My wife and I will miss her very much while she is gone. However we know that she needs to do this.

I knew I could always depend on my kids to be there to help when I had my surgeries. I know that not everyone has this kind of a relastionship with mother and father or sons and daughters, but this is a good time to start! Be there for your family now, you have time to move on. They will be there for you later.

God Bless, and good luck,

Bob

[xelnaga13]

There's always a million reason to NOT do something. The human condition is adverse to risk and change. Any time you consider either one your brain start processing a list of reasons to stay put and play it safe.

It sounds like you see the writing on the wall. Your looking around and realizing that if you hang around your current situation you will likely fall into the same stagnation that some of your family is experiencing.

I'm 26 now and live in a pretty affluent area. In talking to my parents and their peers about how they started off, its almost always humble beginnings. I feel like our/my generation lacks the balls to risk being poor or failing. Instead we seek the shelter of our original spawning grounds.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. You can wait a few months and try to save money, or better yet why not a year or two? By then you would have accumulated a new list of reasons to hang around, and before you know it 6 years have past and you start to become comfortable lowering the bar for yourself.

Additionally, Im not judging your family, I dont know them. But "generally" speaking, people who aren't letting their light shine to the fullest rarely want to see anyone around them shine. You expressing that you want to move a good distance away from them will most likely be taken as a passive aggressive judgement of how they are living. This negativity has nothing to do with you, and you shouldn't even try to digest it.

So my advice is to go for it. You will land of your feet. Even if you dont at first, you will still gain experience, confidence, and self esteem.


P.s. In one day you could immediately find a job at a restaurant, pick up double shifts, and stay after to clean. That will eat up all your waking hours, so all you have left to worry about is a place to rest. Restaurants are an excellent subculture that can help tie up lose ends. It's def. not unheard of for the staff to find temporary accommodations for the new guy, even if it is in the closet.

[dfoush21]

Thanks you guys I gave this a long and hard thought and even planned out what I was going to do when I got up there. My family aren't bad people, they're just comfortable in their life styles. My mom is taking online courses now to better her life. This is the biggest risk I've ever taken, I know the road will be tough but like you said I will gain experience and skills along the way. Thank you for the advice.

[hammer]

I wish you the best of luck! I pray that you put your faith in God, if you do his will you can't fail! This just may be his will!


God bless,

Bob

[dfoush21]

Most definetly always, I wouldn't even Think about doing this if I didn't have faith.  Thanks

[Paa_Paw]

Graduated frpm High School in May, 18th birthday in July, Entered the USAF in August. They provided a place to stay, Technical Training, Meals, Experience and even a small paycheck. That is what I did in 1955, and I loved it.

The Military is still an option for a young man.

[Hi_Top_Guy]

Dfoush21, just have a backup plan for when you get to Chicago. I've never been there, but I understand that this is NOT a city to be homeless in (unlike here in Southern California or Hawaii where one can sleep outside without freezing to death). I think the winters are really brutal with snow and freezing temperatures so you don't want to be stuck out in that weather.

I totally understand your situation because I myself was in a similar one. I had to do things my way or else there would have been no options for me to better myself, but the difference was I was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA, so it wasn't life and death when I did become homeless.

Believe me, you don't want to be homeless if you can help it, because you have to move heaven and hell to get out of it.

Start your applications for the school you were thinking about and then try and get in contact with the college's student's services center which should help you find housing and financial aid etc.

Good luck to you, dfoush21. Take chances, YES! But don't jump blindly into anything because you don't know how far it will take to hit the bottom.

[hammer]

Very good advise hi top guy!

Yes the winter is no place to be homeless! I live in Minnesota (MiniSoda) and several die each winter due to lack of homeless shelters! Chicago can get very bad too!

[Hi_Top_Guy]

Thanks, Hammer. 

That's terrible that some die because of the lack of homeless shelters out there in MiniSoda (i like that name better). Very sad.