I feel botched (UPDATE: 14-15 months post-op)

[hellooo123]

I have developed new deformities on my right side after a year post op. Not confident (check latest post on this thread, more details).


Hey guys,

I had surgery 3.5 weeks ago and I feel botched. My left side is alright, but my right side has a huge crater when I lift my arms up and it's noticeable at rest too and if I flex a certain way. This was my worst fear before surgery and of course it happened.

I spent over 9,000 dollars of my hard earned money. Im 24 years old. I just wanted to feel confident and now I feel 100000x worse. I spent all this money to have my body ruined.

I should have listened to my gut, all my consultations with my surgeon were really rushed and he didn't ask me if I had any questions really. I am depressed, this has impacted my life in such a negative and horrible way, I don't know what to do.

I also have scar tissue on my right side that makes it look even worse.

I don't know what to do. All I want to do ever now is cry.

As anyone who's had crater deformity ever felt better about themselves? I hate that I did this. Please don't jump into surgery, I researched it for about a year and I thought I knew what I was doing and went to a renowned surgeon in the Bay Area and i still look botched.

[hellooo123]

Anyone have any experience with craters improving or getting worse as time goes on? 

[flatness13]

Hey man, I'm sorry to hear what happened to you. I've been going through the same thing since my surgery(also researched a long time) although mine isn't noticable at rest so atleast there's that, and it's the right pec that turned out good while the left is somewhat botched. And my surgeon also kind of rushed things and due to my nervousness I wasn't able to ask enough questions and stuff.
So yeah it sounds similar to my story and I feel you but we can't turn back the clock. Have you tried to post pictures in the doctors section here? They could give advice on wether a revision surgery could help you.

[hellooo123]

Hey man, I'm sorry to hear what happened to you. I've been going through the same thing since my surgery(also researched a long time) although mine isn't noticable at rest so atleast there's that, and it's the right pec that turned out good while the left is somewhat botched. And my surgeon also kind of rushed things and due to my nervousness I wasn't able to ask enough questions and stuff.
So yeah it sounds similar to my story and I feel you but we can't turn back the clock. Have you tried to post pictures in the doctors section here? They could give advice on wether a revision surgery could help you.

Thank you for your reply and I'm sorry you're also going through this. It's horrifying. This ruined my life. I haven't posted photos because I'm afraid of looking at myself in photos. My surgeon said once the scar tissue goes away it will smooth out and not look sunken in but I know he's just saying that, I don't think my left side would look awesome and not my right if that was the case. How long ago was your surgery? How do you cope with it? I'm so depressed and this has completely changed my personality and how I "live" my "life" now. I don't know what to do.

[flatness13]

Thank you for your reply and I'm sorry you're also going through this. It's horrifying. This ruined my life. I haven't posted photos because I'm afraid of looking at myself in photos. My surgeon said once the scar tissue goes away it will smooth out and not look sunken in but I know he's just saying that, I don't think my left side would look awesome and not my right if that was the case. How long ago was your surgery? How do you cope with it? I'm so depressed and this has completely changed my personality and how I "live" my "life" now. I don't know what to do.

Man it does sound bad for you, but maybe you could really need some second opinions? Trust me the doctors here(experts at this surgery) have a way of making you feel better and give you some hope. There's always hope, experts can correct deformities with fat flaps/fat transfer etc.

Mine was almost 7 months ago and my main problem now is scar tissue. Yours was less than 2 months ago so it is still early in the healing process, it's possible that it may become better over time.

[hellooo123]

Thank you for your reply and I'm sorry you're also going through this. It's horrifying. This ruined my life. I haven't posted photos because I'm afraid of looking at myself in photos. My surgeon said once the scar tissue goes away it will smooth out and not look sunken in but I know he's just saying that, I don't think my left side would look awesome and not my right if that was the case. How long ago was your surgery? How do you cope with it? I'm so depressed and this has completely changed my personality and how I "live" my "life" now. I don't know what to do.

Man it does sound bad for you, but maybe you could really need some second opinions? Trust me the doctors here(experts at this surgery) have a way of making you feel better and give you some hope. There's always hope, experts can correct deformities with fat flaps/fat transfer etc.

Mine was almost 7 months ago and my main problem now is scar tissue. Yours was less than 2 months ago so it is still early in the healing process, it's possible that it may become better over time.

Thank you, it is refreshing to speak to someone who has gone through this and knows what I am going through. Friends and family can empathize but they don't truly understand. The doctor who performed my surgery is one of the expert surgeons on this site, which is why I thought I was in good hands. I guess I'll wait a few months until I have a clearer image of the extent of how messed up I am before I post pictures. I am taking lots of pictures though, every time I shower so I might post those as well to see progress or lack of progress/worsening. I am scared of revision because of the risk of looking even worse, the risk of going under again and if I'm not mistaken I have to go under for liposuction in a different area to to get fat to use? I'm getting ahead of myself, I guess. Thank you again for your reply. It's nice to know someone cares about what I'm going through.

[flatness13]

Thank you, it is refreshing to speak to someone who has gone through this and knows what I am going through. Friends and family can empathize but they don't truly understand. The doctor who performed my surgery is one of the expert surgeons on this site, which is why I thought I was in good hands. I guess I'll wait a few months until I have a clearer image of the extent of how messed up I am before I post pictures. I am taking lots of pictures though, every time I shower so I might post those as well to see progress or lack of progress/worsening. I am scared of revision because of the risk of looking even worse, the risk of going under again and if I'm not mistaken I have to go under for liposuction in a different area to to get fat to use? I'm getting ahead of myself, I guess. Thank you again for your reply. It's nice to know someone cares about what I'm going through.

I am surprised to hear that you were in fact in good hands with a gyno expert, you did nothing wrong with your preperation so it becomes even more understandable now that you feel devastated. I still say that there is hope because you're early in the process. I've seen posts of people who say that they had what appeared to be craters and creases but it went away as the body healed some more. Some people have very sort of 'ups and downs' type of healing post-surgery, I really hope that's the case for you. I sent you a pm btw.

[hellooo123]

Thank you, it is refreshing to speak to someone who has gone through this and knows what I am going through. Friends and family can empathize but they don't truly understand. The doctor who performed my surgery is one of the expert surgeons on this site, which is why I thought I was in good hands. I guess I'll wait a few months until I have a clearer image of the extent of how messed up I am before I post pictures. I am taking lots of pictures though, every time I shower so I might post those as well to see progress or lack of progress/worsening. I am scared of revision because of the risk of looking even worse, the risk of going under again and if I'm not mistaken I have to go under for liposuction in a different area to to get fat to use? I'm getting ahead of myself, I guess. Thank you again for your reply. It's nice to know someone cares about what I'm going through.

I am surprised to hear that you were in fact in good hands with a gyno expert, you did nothing wrong with your preperation so it becomes even more understandable now that you feel devastated. I still say that there is hope because you're early in the process. I've seen posts of people who say that they had what appeared to be craters and creases but it went away as the body healed some more. Some people have very sort of 'ups and downs' type of healing post-surgery, I really hope that's the case for you. I sent you a pm btw.

Yeah I mean I did expect swelling and bruising but I was not prepared for what I see on myself.
I didn't know that improvement of indentations and creasing was really possible, it does give me hope. I don't want to be disappointed anymore but knowing that at least some people have improved as they heal is good to know, thank you. I will continue to take photos every day and hopefully a month, two, three, etc... months from now I see improvement. I'll definitely be posting updates here as I go along. Thank you!

[Paa_Paw]

I am one of the oldest people here.  My experience dates to a time far before surgery was as safe and effective as it is now.   I am not a good candidate for surgery, and even essential surgery is risky for me due to many other problems I have.  Even so, I have been here for a good while and I have learned a thing or three.  
First is that the total healing process can take months,  and not just 2 or three but nearly a year for some people.  
Another thing I have observed is that many people who were at first dubious about their surgical results were very happy with the final results that they saw when the healing was done.  
Talk to you surgeon, and stay in touch.  Be Patient.    

[hellooo123]

I am one of the odest people here.  My experience dates to a time far before surgery was as safe and effective as it is now.   I am not a good candidate for surgery, and even essential surgery is risky for me due to many other problems I have.  Even so, I have been here for a good while and I have learned a thing or three.  
First is that the total healing process can take months,  and not just 2 or three but nearly a year for some people.  
Another thing I have observed is that many people who were at first dubious about their surgical results were very happy with the final results that they saw when the healing was done.  
Talk to you surgeon, and stay in touch.  Be Patient.  

Thank you for your response. This does give me some hope as well as the response from flatness. Thank you for this. I hope and pray that I will be on of those guys that end up loving the results once it's healed. I'm just not going to look every day so if there are improvements, they will be more noticeable. I did address my concern for the crater/indentation and lumps with my surgeon and he reassured me that it would go away and that as the scar tissue disappears that it won't be sunken in. Not sure if he is just saying that or if it's the honest truth. Time will tell I suppose. I will continue to update my progress or lack of progress here as time goes on. Thank you

[hellooo123]

Today I noticed I have a pretty big lump under my right nipple. I didn't mention this before, but since surgery my left nipple has been flat and small and perfect, and my right has been sticking out really big like an ice cream cone. Today, as I was feeling it over my vest I noticed a big lump there. I haven't looked at it without my vest, I'm scared. But its even noticeable through the vest. I was feeling a little better the last few days because I had been keeping it out of sight, out of mind since I haven't looked at my chest since thursday. But now, since this is noticeable even through the vest, I can't help but sink back into depression. Just wanted to update you guys on that.

[CJC85]

Hey bud, I'm in exactly the same boat as you except I'm all healed and nothing has changed! I know exactly how you feel, my body was awesome at one point and now I feel broken and that I won't ever go on holiday again etc it's hard to get over and I'm considering revision but with crater, creases and excess tissue I don't know whatnot who can fix it.

[hellooo123]

Hey bud, I'm in exactly the same boat as you except I'm all healed and nothing has changed! I know exactly how you feel, my body was awesome at one point and now I feel broken and that I won't ever go on holiday again etc it's hard to get over and I'm considering revision but with crater, creases and excess tissue I don't know whatnot who can fix it.

I'm sorry you're in the same boat, it's not a fun spot to be in. How long ago was your surgery? I feel exactly the same, I'm a complete introvert after surgery and I used to be outgoing and fun. I'm not that anymore. The scar tissue under my right nipple keeps growing and getting harder each day. I'm pretty terrified. I've only noticed it in the last few days and it's gotten this much bigger and harder in that short amount of time. I don't even want to think how it will be in a week, two, three... I'm also scared of revision surgery and don't think I would trust my same surgeon to perform that for me since my first surgery isn't good. I don't know how to feel now.

[mattyy]

The recommended healing time is 6 months to a year. There's no point worrying about anything before that time frame. 

Stress and worry can have a huge physical impact on your health which may, in the long run, affect healing. If it is in fact scar tissue, there are solutions to that. And it won't require full on surgery.

Seriously, don't stress. It seems that everyone here goes through the same thing but nobody is able to takeaway the valuable lesson from their experiences - give it time. After 6 months to a year, reevaluate. Til then, sit back and live your life.

[hellooo123]

The recommended healing time is 6 months to a year. There's no point worrying about anything before that time frame.

Stress and worry can have a huge physical impact on your health which may, in the long run, affect healing. If it is in fact scar tissue, there are solutions to that. And it won't require full on surgery.

Seriously, don't stress. It seems that everyone here goes through the same thing but nobody is able to takeaway the valuable lesson from their experiences - give it time. After 6 months to a year, reevaluate. Til then, sit back and live your life.

Thank you for your response. I really am trying lately. Its just hard thinking about it but I'm really trying. I had a lymphatic drainage massage last thursday that I feel helped, definitely emotionally it did, and physically the next morning my chest felt better, the lumps felt smaller and overall less sunken in. I haven't seen my chest in two weeks so I don't know how it looks but my brother said there was a very noticeable difference for the better the very next day in how it looks. He even looked surprised when he looked. He's always told me I look good but thats his job you know, but he genuinely looked surprised. We will see. I have another massage tomorrow which I'm really looking forward to. Going to be doing this weekly for a while and then biweekly as I continue healing. I will keep you guys updated on my progress.

Thank you for the continued encouragement guys. I really do appreciate it.