ED from ED

[Dudewithboobs]

In the last year my ED issues has become more frequent than ever. To a point my wife often will ask if it’s going to work before we try to entertain the idea. Between that and loss of libido sex, has become a thing of the past it seems. I have tried the pills and changes in diet and exercises claimed to boost blood flow and testosterone. Taken supplements that are good for this area supposedly and nothing seems to work. And when it does work it’s usually a day that doesn’t work for us to engage in things. 

I was curious if anyone else has issues in this area of estrogen dominance and e dysfunction. Has there been anything that works for you? In our 30s it kind of sucks to think at least in the moment the bedroom is not a room to go to except to sleep lately. Curious if anyone else cares to share any remedy’s they found. 

[42CSurprise!]

I really appreciate you raising this subject because it is probably the one that men least want to talk about.  We'll talk about our conquests but not about those moments when things aren't working.  Of course, you're a young person with a wife, so this subject has a bit more poignancy for you than for an old man like me who isn't in an intimate relationship.  I will say, as I said before, that my libido got up and went some time ago.  It was really only in retrospect that I put the pieces together and realized diminishing testosterone that allowed estrogen to have its way with my chest, also reduced the size of my penis and turned it into little more than a urine delivery appendage.  Yes, there are occasional flutters when given enough visual or mental stimulation but there really is no there there.  I've never tried drugs and when I suggested testosterone supplementation my doctor recommended against it.  But as a man living alone, I am under no obligation to satisfy a partner.  I understand, of course, that there are many ways to satisfy a partner and not all of them require a workable erection... but... coming to that requires some very intimate conversations.  That is another thing few men do well.  I hope you and your wife are able to find means to keep intimacy alive and well.

So reduced libido, diminishing hair on legs and arms, breasts growing on my chest and curves coming to my body, as well as a much more open and relaxed attitude to life... all point to estrogen having her way with this body/mind.  I've no intention to do battle with Mother Nature... so here I am, talking with other men about my favorite brassiere...

[WPW717]

Libido lost was easy to spot here. The rapidity of onset was remarkable. With MD’s at the helm the trials of pharmaceutical remedies failed completely. Even as the amounts were tripled. The wife is 12 years younger and was perimenopausal at the time.
As you said, 42, not all intimacy requires a working stiffie. Those conversations took place and were lighthearted. I am a very lucky man to be with her for the past 36 years. As the hormonal ship rights itself here we know it’ll never be the same as it was. The ‘ uncut eunuch’ status is here to stay. We just move ahead with the understanding that it is the stage and age of life for us. The key to success is again exploring alternatives and the acceptance of the facts once the landscape is mapped clearly. That can be a lot of work for us all. I wish everyone well in that endeavor. The peace and calm of arriving to that place is worth the effort, partnered or not.

The exploration of alternative paths to intimacy can be fun, it was for us. It does take courage and resolve, so hang in there, DwB.

[Johndoe1]

Atrophy is another thing that is a sign of low T/elevated E men don't want to talk about either. I have heard nurses say that if they need to do a catheterization on a man with atrophy, they will use the female catheter because it works better for the patient. 

[42CSurprise!]

Atrophy is another thing that is a sign of low T/elevated E men don't want to talk about either. I have heard nurses say that if they need to do a catheterization on a man with atrophy, they will use the female catheter because it works better for the patient.

That term definitely applies... atrophy... AND it has contributed to my decision to sit down when I pee rather than stand up.  I eliminate "accidents" that way.  I always marveled at how my former wife went through toilet paper... now I understand.  

[taxmapper]

So I am the odd man out. 

My libido is quite strong, but also different. 
I wont peruse some of it here, but what is weird is that when i do get "urges" there is a much deeper aspect to it and one that isn't fulfilled with a simple quicky. 

I also feel other things that are just as strange and weird that I cannot fully explain. Just that they are there. 

[Justagirl💃]

Sitting has been something I've done for years. My wife would complain about splashing and spots that I wouldn't notice on the floor. I just figured sitting would be easier and give me a moment to just relax for a few.

I'm on the other side of the spectrum in that 'sitting' has been my only option my entire life. I tried a urinal once our of curiosity and peed all over myself. 

[Justagirl💃]

My libido is quite strong, but I don't really have the equipment needed. I used to joke with my wife that we were in a lesbian relationship.

Toys are basically the only option. 🙄

[Johndoe1]

Atrophy is another thing that is a sign of low T/elevated E men don't want to talk about either. I have heard nurses say that if they need to do a catheterization on a man with atrophy, they will use the female catheter because it works better for the patient.

That term definitely applies... atrophy... AND it has contributed to my decision to sit down when I pee rather than stand up.  I eliminate "accidents" that way.  I always marveled at how my former wife went through toilet paper... now I understand. 

I admit I too find sitting to pee is preferable to standing. But it's still nice to still have the option to stand even if it's become not as convenient as it once was. 

[mgr]

I can confirm, for me, that atrophy is a real thing.  Prostate removal 12 years ago for cancer.  For medical reasons that I approved prior to surgery, they had to severe the nerves to get my prostate out (a lot of detail to write here), which left me completely unable to get any sort of erection at all.  6 years prior I lost one of my testes from a bad reaction to a vasectomy and then lost the second one 6 years ago.  Then length has shortened some, but the only thing left is the urethra and the head. There is not muscle or other tissue there.  It almost just disappears when I put my underwear on and especially so when I lay on my back.  

Nothing worked, so we stopped trying to get it to work.  

The one positive it that it is quite comfortable not having anything between my legs, especially when it is hot outside and I am out golfing.  

[Evolver]

Lots of raw honesty in this thread. Maybe THIS is the club that none of us wanted to join.

Atrophy, yes. Mine can also almost disappear in underwear. I also had a radical prostatectomy, but mine was nine years ago. I was already experiencing some ED before then, treated with viagra, and I was aware that permanent and complete ED was a risk factor after surgery. Happily, I felt some nocturnal stirrings while I was still in hospital, and even though it hurt with the catheter in place, it gave me a lot of confidence. But over the years things just got worse and worse. I was needing stronger and stronger doses of V, but it gave me horrible side effects like the feeling that my head (the one on my shoulders) was about to explode, and I couldn't handle it. 

I don't want to go into detail about what happened subsequently, but I did try other methods (Caverject) for a while, but certain events and circumstances since then have meant that the fire is well and truly out. Libido is almost zero now too.

Up until last year I was still able to pleasure myself occasionally even if mostly flaccid, but I also have nothing but numbness down there now most of the time. I suspect that I have experienced some damage to my pudendal nerve from a separate procedure I underwent last year. That procedure dealt with an issue that originated from my prostate cancer. The best I can hope for now is to edge, but it is very difficult to even reach that stage, and there is nothing after that at all. 

My wife and I are good. Nothing is expected, her libido is low too, but I am still able to pleasure her in a variety of different ways which we do every now and then, and that makes me happy too.

[Midagemoobs2]

In the last year my ED issues has become more frequent than ever. To a point my wife often will ask if it’s going to work before we try to entertain the idea. Between that and loss of libido sex, has become a thing of the past it seems. I have tried the pills and changes in diet and exercises claimed to boost blood flow and testosterone. Taken supplements that are good for this area supposedly and nothing seems to work. And when it does work it’s usually a day that doesn’t work for us to engage in things.

I was curious if anyone else has issues in this area of estrogen dominance and e dysfunction. Has there been anything that works for you? In our 30s it kind of sucks to think at least in the moment the bedroom is not a room to go to except to sleep lately. Curious if anyone else cares to share any remedy’s they found.

Going back to your original question… Viagra etc, can make a real difference when desired.  I have not found any supplements that did much.  A factor certainly is T/E ratio/balance. Also there are a ton of medications that impact function (not surprisingly, several also risk breast growth):  Almost all diuretics and blood pressure meds, most acid reducers, prostate treatments, and less commonly suspected but certainly a factor: most antihistamines, most NSAIDs (ibuprofen, naproxen, etc.).  Check with your doc if could pause these a day beforehand, it may help but of course ONLY IF you can do so safely.
These may not impact the average guy, but I’m likely at or past a tipping point already, so I find planning helps (kills spontaneity).  

[gotgyne]

Sitting has been something I've done for years. My wife would complain about splashing and spots that I wouldn't notice on the floor. I just figured sitting would be easier and give me a moment to just relax for a few.

I'm on the other side of the spectrum in that 'sitting' has been my only option my entire life. I tried a urinal once our of curiosity and peed all over myself.

I like the female urination device (FUD) or 'urinal' very much, since it enlarges my short thingy to 10 inches. If in a male restroom no free stall is available, it is much more hygienic to use it since I don't need to stand too close to the urinal with the floor underneath which is often wet from urine.
And I often use it at home, since I don't need sitting down for peeing and there are no splashes.

[gotgyne]

Toys are basically the only option. 🙄

The same with me. I really envy my cousin who is much older (77) and has terrific sex with his 62 year old wife without any pills or toys. At least he told me this. I didn't answer.

[42CSurprise!]

If we're honestly open to reality we find there is infinite variety in this being human thing.  Men who spend time here are simply dealing with what life has delivered to us and that happens to be diminished testosterone that allows estrogen to have her way with our bodies.  And that clearly includes breasts growing on our chests while our genitals diminish between our legs.  Viagra exists only because men, whether they're dealing with diminished testosterone or not, have difficulties maintaining an erection.  I'm sure the Marlboro Man NEVER had a problem with that, though I understand he did develop lung cancer... but we're ordinary men dealing with real life circumstances.  I appreciate that we're speaking so honestly about the experience.  We are not weirdos and there are PLENTY of those in the world... I say that as a person who has spent quite a bit of time with men who were sexually abused as boys.  There are nasty things happening in families, schools, churches, sports teams perpetrated by men and women.  I think we're doing pretty well for a group of people with elevated estrogen both challenging us and easing our way through the world.