21 years of pain, unsupportive parents, no more..!

[nowchasing]

 I know I don't have the money, and but I have already decided to max out my student loan to go ahead with this operation with Dr. Fielding. even though I know i will not able to pay my university tutition this year.

I am not looking for people to feeling sad for me or anything, but I just want to tell all of guys out there with this condition that you are not alone.  Screw those parents who doesn't understand what we go thru including mine... and how much it hurts to be 21, and never had a girlfriend in my life, even though i am nice looking guy with so many girls liking me... the feeling of never being french kissed anyone, and see your friends with girls while you are alone... and barely go out..

I hate to lied to my parents that I am going to have breast remove because of breast cancer... my parents always thinks i am always not good enough for anything and everything i think is joke, even though I am A engineering student at best and most pretigious university in Canada.

Thank god that I have lovely sister who agrees to accompany me to the hospital for my operation, its sad that i have keep this operation a secret between me and my sister and dr. fielding.

I having my consulation on this Monday (July 4th, aka. independent day in US)... with Dr. Fielding...

Wish me luck guys!  For those who still have this condition, I just want to say I love you all... I swear if I won the lottory, I would start a foundation and use every penny to help all of you..!

Be strong...
Love, TJX :

[heartbrokenmom]

My son is 20 and feels like you.  His father is not in the picture and, therefore, unsupportive.  I like to think that I am.  Sometimes its hard for parents to admit that their children have problems or that they aren't what society deems "normal".    I'm really sorry that your parents aren't supportive.  My son told me about the boards.  If they were to read the agony and heartache, do you think it would help.

Take care and hang in there.  What I have told my son is don't worry about what your father thinks or fails to do.  You can't let it drag you down for the rest of your life.  Don't let others (parents) bring you down.   Do what is best for you  and I'm glad that you have a supportive sister.

Good Luck with your Dr. Fielding.

[ASRel]

Nice to know you're going through with this.

You don't happen to be UWaterloo student do you?
If so, I'd (highly) recommend applying for a Bursary next term. On there, be sure to include the fees for your operation and explaining the condition ( it won't be disclosed to anyone except the board who decides who gets the Bursaries ).

UW Bursaries are generally pretty good, if you have the financial need, they will give it to you.

[Blitz]

Nowchasing,

You're doing the right thing.  Get the surgery.  Mine is in less then 2 weeks with Dr. Fielding and I feel on top of the world just knowing that I'll be gyne free very soon.  Don't be nervous about seeing Fielding either; he's as professional as they come.  

Keep us posted.    

[dreamwrld]

its great that your gonna get the surgery, i will also in a year or so.  You say you have no girlfriend or whatever because of the gyn..  ive never had an issue with the females saying anything about the gyn, never... only with the guys..  it sucks having gyno, but i think its also your mental state, sometimes you just gotta say, oh well and go with it

[Spleen]

I'm gonna go against the grain here.  Lying and telling your parents you have cancer is just plain wrong.  You're an adult and can make your own decisions, why do you need to lie, and on top of it make such an extreme lie?  It's one thing if your folks don't think you need gyne surgery, it's another to freak them out by letting them know their 21 year old child has cancer.

Having gynecomastia is unfortunate, but if it's it's had such a negative impact on your life it's only because you've allowed that to happen.  For many people it's little more than an embarrassment.  IMHO, forgoing college tuition for surgery is a big mistake.  Armed with the earning power of a college degree you'll be in a better position to pay for surgery in a couple of years.  Don't endanger your education and earning ability for a surgery you can have in a couple of years.  Working on your confidence and attitude is free and might get you to a point that will get you thru college and on to a surgical correction at moment you can better afford.

[dreamwrld]

i just dont understand some of the people on these boards... i mean, one guys lying to his girlfriend about getting the surgery, like she isnt gonna notice, another telling his parents he has cancer.... come on, i have gyno also, and most likely worse off then half the people on here, and im not far out mentally like people on these boards. no i dont like taking my shirt off in public, but you know what, when i go to the beach, and let me tell you its not often, but i take off my shirt, screw it, ill never see those people again, im not gonna be the jackass standing out wearing a shirt in the water,, hello that screams stare at me.  im not gonna lie to my girlfriend about getting the surgery, i sleep with her every night, i think she knows i have boobs, no secret there... im not gonna lie to my parents about having cancer and put them through intense pain and suffering cause i dont have the balls to tell them, hey im sick of having boobs, and im getting rid of them.  who cares if they dont support you, your getting the surgery done, either way. so why lie? guys it sucks having gyno, but damn does it have to ruin lives like some people let it?

[a-man]

very well said dreamwrld, i agree with everything

[ASRel]

These guys are right... at least tell your parents about it, Im sure they'll understand if you really explain how it's affected your life.

If you do plan to through with it, I'd highly recommend looking into Bursaries at your University like I mentioned.

[nowchasing]

thanks for the advice, i will definitely apply for the busary