Does gynecomastia affect your sexuality

[pat]

I have over time as my gynecomastia   increased I became much more femine in my outlook and behaviour, to the point of wanting to crossdress and if it was practical, even live as a woman.  It may sound a little frightening, but that is my experience.

Have others had similar experiences.  

[frozen]

Gyne doesn't make me feel womanly.. At all.. It does however make me feel on occasion like less of a man. I'll explain:

I'll wake up feeling okay. I'll look for a t-shirt to put on. All of my favourite t-shirts are dirty. I'll have to settle for one of the items of clothing that I have that I dislike....

I put on the t-shirt, I look in the mirror, I notice my chest protruding and ruining my sillhouette.

My confidence goes down immediately and I get that horrible anxious/sinking feeling and start to worry about how my appearance is going to negatively affect the rest of my day (people looking at me, will I have to take my shirt off, what if it's windy, what if I have to run for a bus or something, etc).

Now I'm anxious and decide I simply cannot leave the house with my chest this exposed, so regardless of it being a hot day outside I put a hoody on. I leave the house feeling like an idiot with people staring at me wondering why I have so many layers on.

So I'm left feeling insecure, anxious and far less confident - because of my gyne.

To me men should be strong and confident (maybe this view is wrong but it's just something that I've personally been taught). So by being underconfident and insecure about my moobs I feel less manly, less strong. I'm hoping this makes sense!

[PBC]

ummmm...can't say it has made me want to live as a woman. Quite the opposite in fact. If I were to want to live as a woman my gyne may have seem more like a gift than the curse it has been. Having sore breasts and having the chest of an early pubecent girl has been an emasculating experience. The condition has been nothing short of awful for me. But then again, that is me. If u can turn these lemons into lemonade more power to you! Unforunately, I enjoy being a man, and I enjoy women. Which makes gyne a problem I wish I didn't have to deal with. Not to mention, my moobs (and I suspect moobs in general) do not have the visually pleasing shape that a woman's breast do. whatever I am rambling now...if living as a woman helps you cope with this situation or makes you a happier person, do it! Is is about whatever makes YOU happy!

[PBC]

Gyne doesn't make me feel womanly.. At all.. It does however make me feel on occasion like less of a man. I'll explain:

I'll wake up feeling okay. I'll look for a t-shirt to put on. All of my favourite t-shirts are dirty. I'll have to settle for one of the items of clothing that I have that I dislike....

I put on the t-shirt, I look in the mirror, I notice my chest protruding and ruining my sillhouette.

My confidence goes down immediately and I get that horrible anxious/sinking feeling and start to worry about how my appearance is going to negatively affect the rest of my day (people looking at me, will I have to take my shirt off, what if it's windy, what if I have to run for a bus or something, etc).

Now I'm anxious and decide I simply cannot leave the house with my chest this exposed, so regardless of it being a hot day outside I put a hoody on. I leave the house feeling like an idiot with people staring at me wondering why I have so many layers on.

So I'm left feeling insecure, anxious and far less confident - because of my gyne.

To me men should be strong and confident (maybe this view is wrong but it's just something that I've personally been taught). So by being underconfident and insecure about my moobs I feel less manly, less strong. I'm hoping this makes sense!

That whole this shirt/ that shirt thing makes me crazy. I now have a four shirt rotation of shirts I can wear and not feel like eyes are burning holes though me. It drives my wife nuts. If we are going out I almost always change shirts a couple of times before we actually leave. THAT does kinda make me feel like a woman. She swears up and down she can't tell I have a problem no matter what shirt I am wearing and that I am obssessed with my chest to the point of it being a pyschosis. Which brings up my visit with a phychiatrist I had  few days ago .Ughh....I will get into that on my own thread thoguh later!

[user87]

same problem here. it makes me feel like a woman sometimes but i would never want to be a woman.

Which brings up my visit with a phychiatrist I had  few days ago .Ughh....I will get into that on my own thread thoguh later!

that's interesting .. would like to know your experience and what the psychologist said

[headheldhigh01]

if he tells you you have body dysmorphic disorder, tell him to go get stuffed.  it is not normal for guys to have moobs, it is normal to feel self-conscious about them, however much you should try to get over it, and any shrink who doesn't grasp what this does to a guy is either incompetent or not a guy. 

[PBC]

ok..here goes..I have been seeing this guy for a bit less than a year now. Started with him when I went back to school for help with add. (standing still in a classroom is akin to torture for me) So he prescribed medication (adderall) that really did seem to help. He also prescribed me wellbutrin for depression. All is going fine till this situation with gyne started again. I only see him every other month so the last time he saw me it wasn't an issue. Well, my last appointment comes and I really can't wait to talk with him and discuss the problem with a sympathetic ear listening. (as opposed to my wife who has been questioning my mental stability since this all started. It really isn't looking good for us..just another wonderful effect of this condition) So I open up to him, explain all the emotions in me, how emasculated I feel, u guys know the drill...So he looks at me and begins to give his take. (now picture this coming from a guy that looks a lot like saddam hussein and talks like a  hybrid of ghandi and deepak chopra)  These r exact words now.."So what? These things do not define who you are unless you let them do so. What is normal? Who is to say what is normal and not normal? This can only impact your life as much as you will let it. Nothing or nobody can change how you feel about yourself without your permission." Then he went into some speech about how some people have REAL problems like cancer, no food, terminally ill children, etc..etc..Well so much for the sympathetic ear I was looking for. To top it all off he gave me a script for valium. (gee, guess what one of the drugs on dr bermant gyne list is?? you got it!! Oh, I believe wellbutrin is on there too. When I asked him about those 2 meds causing gyne he laughed and seemed incredulous. I have come to the realisation this guy is a pill slinging quack. Evidently having male bbobs is no cause for embarassment and the shame I feel when people look at me shirtless is all in my head. Yeah..well darn him. He can go spout his new age ghandhi mumbo jumbo to some other sap. This IS an abnormal condition and I feel I have every right to be ashamed of it. Someone elses cancer or sick kids have no bearing on my day to day misery. Am I correct for feeling that tactic of ill children and such really pissed me off? I am so fucking confused and screwed up mentally right now I don't knowt tp think. Seems as if you people are the only ones that understand this condition, and are better therapy than any of the mental health quacks that make 200 bucks an hour. Thanks for reading my self pity party and sorry if I hijacked the thread! Thanks all!!

[theman234]

no, unless the gyne is from an imbalance of hormones, and not genetics.

[Grandpa Bambu]

Seems as if you people are the only ones that understand this condition, and are better therapy than any of the mental health quacks that make 200 bucks an hour.

 

GB...

[goingoingonegyno]

Just throwing this out there ... (and I know it doesn't have anything to do with the topic of the thread)

I think the best piece of advice I could give to before-surgery patients (granted, I have yet to have surgery myself) is to do a shitload of research on your own before consulting with a physician. Often times we go into situations knowing little or nothing about them, and wanting to get things resolved quickly we end up settling for something that is less than 'perfect'. For example, some of us would walk into the Dr's office not knowing anything about our condition. I think if you can walk in and participate from start to finish in getting your Gyne problem resolved you will find you achieve better results at the end. Sitting there and listening to the Dr. spit causes, problems, solutions, etc. at you without asking questions isn't the way to go. Don't let a Dr. tell you that "It only causes you as much embarrassment as you let it cause you" or anything of the like. Go in there and hold your ground - I have a problem, this is what I want to do about it, and this is how I want it done. Don't let a Dr. talk you out of getting surgery or putting the procedure off. If it is bothering you enough to the point that you looked for this site then a resolution to our shared problem is certainly long overdue.

[Paa_Paw]

With respect to the original Question that is on the Subject line of this thread, My answer would be NO.

[headheldhigh01]

@pat:  no, gyne has  never made me feel feminine, it's made me stand in revolt against anything that shadows my sense of identity as masculine.  others may have different experiences, which is fine.  gender identity can get a little fuzzy, there was even a guy who posted here once who looked like a normal teen but because he wasn't john wayne basically got bullied into a gender change op and i think even married.  then he tried to reclaim his original identity and did up this long detailed website railing against certain medical guys out of control doing changeover ops for mutilating him.  i also don't think that questions about that mean you're gay either (and there's nothing wrong with that, but truth is, if you're not you're not), that's just a question of whether it's brad or angelina that gives you the hard on    

@pbc:  he's right about just the attitude part, but he's wrong to tell you it's all in your head, or that some kid with cancer changes the fact gyne does evil things to people.  if somebody held him up at gunpoint and stole his wallet and car, he may not be as bad off as the guy whose house burned down yesterday, but he's still going to be pissed.  you are not confused and screwed up, you are being more realistic than him.  if somebody had screwed a pair of breasts on his front in high school, he'd feel about them the way you do too, he just has never walked a mile in your shoes.  so yes, don't let it get to you, but just ignore him.  tell him you're at peace with yourself, but after having thought it all over, including what he said, you're exercising your own autonomy and deciding what's right for you, and nobody else can do it for you in your place.  

[nasa3]

I'll tell you this, it didnt affect my sexuality, but it eventually made me one mean mother f'er, once I sarted leiftingh weights and boxing ( always with my shirt on of course) and then I had the two years of wrestling in HS (which gyne made me quit), I turned into an animal about my 18th birhtday. Between then and my 28th birthday, I got into over 100 fist fights, man I beat the sheet out of people just for looking at me the wrong way, I figured in my sick mind that I oughta hit before they could make some snide remark about the gyne...God finally grabbed me by the throat and settled me down or I would be in jail right now for murder...God Bless everyone who has to go thru this, it is truly terrible, especially in your teen years..

[CanadaCraig]

Having gynecomastia has all but ruined my life. I'm 45 years old and I've never actually penetrated another human being. Oh I tried a few times - but because I was SO painfully self conscious - I couldn't get 'hard'. I kept thinking about my 'chest'. And even though one of the girls I was with suggested [Out of the goodness of her heart] that I could keep my undershirt on - IF I wanted to - that still didn't help. That was the last time I tired having sex. [Which was over 12 years ago] I used to give a few of my straight male friends blow jobs when I was younger - because it was something sexual and they didn't want to reciprocate - so I just kept MY clothes ON. [Which was fine with me] So am I gay or straight? I still don't know. But if someone isn't having sex - does it really matter?! When I see a really good looking guy with a beautiful body [Especially a great looking chest] I can't help but wonder.... Do I want to have sex WITH him - or AS HIM?! Do any of you understand that?! Oh well....  maybe one day I'll find the money to have surgery. And maybe one day I'll find someone who can perform that surgery. Trouble is - I'm all but convinced - that I will be that 1 in a million where something goes horribly wrong. By mistake - the doctor performed an irreversible breast augmentation!! lol

Craig

[Cole1992]

I have over time as my gynecomastia   increased I became much more femine in my outlook and behave ya, to the point of wanting to crossdress and if it was practical, even live as a woman.  It may sound a little frightening, but that is my experience.

Have others had similar experiences. 

Yeah, only a woman would spell behavior as behave ya.

I kid, I kid. No, it didn't really make me feel feminine, just depressed and shit. Just made me feel like I wasn't the same as everybody else. It didn't make me feel like I was turning into a different gender.

You're probably still going through puberty, those thoughts are most likely normal for your age. I wouldn't say it's the gynecomastia.