Accepting Surgery

[rasputin]

I don't know why it took me so long to find this place but I'm glad I did.

I'm a confident guy, I'll talk to anyone about anything and generally spill my heart when I feel it's right. But this is something else; I haven't even mentioned it to my girlfriend of 4 years. I'm on the brink of surgery, but the only thing that is stopping me is the embarrassment of telling people that this is a problem and this is how I'm dealing with it.

I've put up with gyne for 8 years now - I feel I missed a huge part of my early life because of it and at 23 I don't want to leave it any later.

How do I tell people?

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts.

[blackchevy]

just tell your friends or whoever that you want that you have some mass on your chest that needs to come out. lol thats what I've been doing and no1 really seems to question it. I've only told my friends and my girl that its gynecomastia.

hope you figure something out though, my girl was actually really supportive about it I'm sure yours will be the same way! good luck brother.

[crossfit99]

I don't know why it took me so long to find this place but I'm glad I did.

I'm a confident guy, I'll talk to anyone about anything and generally spill my heart when I feel it's right. But this is something else; I haven't even mentioned it to my girlfriend of 4 years. I'm on the brink of surgery, but the only thing that is stopping me is the embarrassment of telling people that this is a problem and this is how I'm dealing with it.

I've put up with gyne for 8 years now - I feel I missed a huge part of my early life because of it and at 23 I don't want to leave it any later.

What really triggered this for me was when I looked back at some old school video from the 1990s. I don't see that insecure and introvert person as me anymore, but there's still a bit left over and I want it gone...

How do I tell people?

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts.

Welcome brother! We can all relate FULLY! As you read some of these guys' stories its almost eerie how much we have all suffered in the same way.


Anyway, this is something you have to gauge yourself man. I dated my Wife a good 3-4 years before I ever mentioned it. I had a little bit less bodyfat at that time and would do my damnest to keep my chest flexed, pinch nipples to keep em hard, or have a shirt on at all times. As I got more and more comfortable with her I just slowly would mention "My breasts" "My moobs", always in a joking manor. Soon enough I think she noticed how much I struggled with it. I'd at times simply avoid the pool when on vacation; or just hop in the water and stay submerged until the bitter end and hope that a soul was not looking at me as I half way sprinted to my towel with my back turned.

I told her it would be a dream to get the surgery and she was completely supportive. Originally I was gonna wait a couple years and pay cash, but I said hell with it, I am tired of training as hard as I do in the gym and having to be tortured come summer time.


Have you EVER mentioned anything to your wife about it? How noticeable is it? When do you plan on surgery?

[rasputin]

Thanks for your welcoming messages guys.

@Crossfit I haven't told anyone. I know for a fact my girlfriend will be totally behind it - I just feel like the longer I leave it without telling her the harder it becomes. I can't really explain how I haven't mentioned something so serious in 4 years??

After seeing some of the severe cases on this forum I've decided my gyne isn't that noticeable at all. But it is (and always will be) stopping me from doing what I want to do.

No date planned - I'm fairly terrified of surgery but if I can just bite the bullet and do it as soon as possible I'll be happy.

[blackchevy]

i think after a consultation with a great qualified surgeon you will be excited and confident in your decision! check out some of the surgeons on this site, most are pretty active on here. this is where i found mine!

[crossfit99]

Thanks for your welcoming messages guys.

@Crossfit I haven't told anyone. I know for a fact my girlfriend will be totally behind it - I just feel like the longer I leave it without telling her the harder it becomes. I can't really explain how I haven't mentioned something so serious in 4 years??

After seeing some of the severe cases on this forum I've decided my gyne isn't that noticeable at all. But it is (and always will be) stopping me from doing what I want to do and being who I want to be.

No date planned - I'm fairly terrified of surgery but if I can just bite the bullet and do it as soon as possible I'll be happy.

Hmmm. I'd just come out and say it point blank. It's not easy... But you'll feel good to get if off your chest (haha), and it will help you to move towards possible surgery knowing you have her support and what not.

[Gynechameleon]

Personally, I'm not telling anyone, not friends, not family, no one but the surgeon, staff and myself.  I've seen how things like this can affect people, and get around.

I'm taking a "vacation" alone for a week to an out of state surgeon.  If anyone asks about my vest I have my story already figured out.  If been engaged in cancer-like pre-surgery wait loss and have been avoiding being shirtless around anyone for months so I doubt anyone will question the change when the time comes.

[greatlakes]

Can't really hide this from your GF can you? Been with her a while - she has seen you naked so thats that. you got to tell her. Just say "hey I saw a doc and he can do a little work to make me feel better about my chest and I am going to do it!"?

I don't know why you would "need" to tell anyone else.

[shaknbake]

Hey man, I'm 38 years old, and I've been married now for 10 years.  It took me until last October to say anything to my wife about it, and we've been together a total of 12 years!  I know how hard it is to get the nerve to talk about it.  But who says you have to?  Obviously, you won't be able to hide it from your GF, but there's no reason at all anyone has to know.  Make up an excuse as to why you'll be out of action for awhile.  I told everyone I had an issue with my back, and the doc said I needed to wear a compression vest for "support" and not to do anything strenuous for 6 weeks.  Worked like a charm!  Hopefully your GF will be as supportive as my wife.  If she cares about you, and how you feel at all, she'll take the news just fine.  Take a deep breath and go for it!  Good luck!

[Showtime620]

Hey man.  We totally get it.  I've been in the EXACT shoes, just a few years older.  (26)  Like what you've said, I've continually put it off because I didn't want to tell anybody; not only for the embarrassment of it, but also because I didn't want to hear people's two cents: "you really don't need to do it" etc.  If it makes YOU feel uncomfortable - GO FOR IT.  I'm getting mine done this Thursday, March 22nd, and I'm not telling anyone, either.  Ya only live once, I'd like to be able to wear a white t-shirt comfortably during this lifetime!   Good luck!

[rasputin]

Really appreciate the support guys. Spoke with my GF last week, took so long to get the words out she thought I had slept with someone else etc etc. She had no idea I had any issue with my chest and didn't think I had any need for surgery (to be expected).

Anyway, we've chatted about it a lot and she's totally behind me getting surgery especially if it can be done under local anaesthetic. Can it? How did yours go Showtime?

I'm pretty excited at the thought of finally doing something about it, felt like a huge weight off my shoulders when I ended up speaking about it for the first time - despite being utterly embarrassed initially...

[Showtime620]

Good stuff, man.  I admire your balls for telling her.  I'm 11 days post-op and I've only told one person - that I had a cyst removed.  I'm in a fairly serious relationship, too - about 2.5 years.  Luckily, we don't live together, so it's easier to hide - BUT I do see her every day, which makes it challenging.  When I had the surgery (on a Thursday), I told her and all of my friends and family that I was going to NYC for a conference.  And just shut myself in my house until Sunday night, had the drains removed Monday morning.  I'm wearing underarmor now instead of the vest, as per the Doc, which is completely unnoticeable and essentially nonevent, compared to the way a vest is.  I still have been dropping little "my back hurts" lines just in case I do get called on it.  We haven't had sex since March 22nd, the operation day, which has been weird, but I've just been finding ways to stay busy with her, ie. going to dinner, going on walks, etc.  Sitting on the couch, bored, watching tv, almost ALWAYS leads to sex, in my experience, at least. 

For being 11 days out, I feel good.  I'm happy with the shape and the contour, so far - there are still A LOT of changes that will take place in the coming months and weeks so I'm doing my best not to be too critical, but so far - I am happy.  When incisions are made along the nipple lines, you get sterile strips, almost like bandaid things taped across the cuts.  I haven't seen the cuts/incisions yet as the steristrips have been on since the operation.  I'm REALLY hoping that scars turn out to be unnoticeable.  When standing staight at a mirror, things look good.  The only issue I currently have right now is minor - when I flex, the right pec is a BIT concaved around the nipple area, but not bad at all. It's almost nit-picky.  Being that I'm only 11 days out, I'm hoping that my body fills that in a bit, but even if it doesn't and my results today are final - I will be very happy - also assuming the nipples/nipples scars turn out ok.  I've got my second follow up with my doc (Doctor Dr. Lo in Philly) today at noon.  Hoping that he thinks eveything looks good.   

My case wasn't THAT bad, but it made ME feel uncomfortable.  I never wore white t-shirts, never felt comfortable laying by a pool for fear that my nipples would 'soften' or turn 'puffy' and pointy.  I've volleyed the idea of surgery back and forth for years, man.  Since high school, at least.  If my situation is similar to yours, I say go for it.  Put the money together, find a surgeon who you trust and go for it.  Jump in head first and get it done.  I feel that I dabbled around the pool, just to put my toe in, just to put my feet in, just to get nervous and run away from the cold water.  But not wanting to miss out on the true enjoyment of yet ANOTHER summer, I made the decision to 'jump in head first' literally about 6 weeks ago - and here I am WITHOUT TITTIES!    I WISH I WOULD'VE DONE IT WHEN I WAS 23!  If you need an extra kick in the ass, please feel free to message me or call me.   Will letcha know what the doc says in a few hours.  Good luck!

[rasputin]

Hey man, thanks for taking the time to reply.

I definitely want to go at this head first. I've had teeth removed, there's no way this can be more painful. One of the most highly recommended UK doctors is a short ride on the underground for me, I'm trying to convince myself that I can get this all over and done with by the end of April but I don't know how realistic that is.

Is it too late to be all healed up for the summer? As you say, I don't want to miss ANOTHER summer, the idea of being able to walk around without a shirt on and not give two shits appeals to me. Since speaking to the GF and getting her backing I've got pretty excited at the thought of sorting this out once and for all.

I can't really take time off work though - I'm in an office Wed - Fri, is it reasonable to get the surgery on a Saturday and be recovered enough to make an appearance on Wed?

Thanks again man

[rayofhope]

This is one of the threads in this forum i can most relate to

I am 23 years old as well and getting surgery done without my family knowing....and girlfriend hah never had the guts to ask one out....because of this shuit on my chest.....things are going to be good after this

@crossfit99
I did the same thing in the pools ....really conscious and always get out last....isn’t that really irritating...damn
Also I have collected cash....but also taking a loan on my credit card....since I cannot wait to do it all with cash

@shaknbake
I am going to steal the idea of backache from you....thanks....but still scared of my family knowing

@showtimes60
I had brought a nice fitting white shirt which fitted so well and looked so good from the front....but from sideways ....was almost in tears
Yeah showtimes wanna wear white shirts too....the well fitting ones

@rasputin
Happy for you....and all the best

[Showtime620]

Talk to your doc about recovery time.  I had mine done March 22, and my doctor said that he was confident that I'd be walking on the beach by the end of June - all depends on the doctor and your own particular case.  But I'd think that if you had it done by the end of April, you should be able to enjoy the second half of the summer.  To be honest, I'm not sure when your summer months begin/peak/end over there across the pond. 

As for the timing of getting back to work, you need to check with your doc.  My doctor only does procedures on Tuesdays and Thursdays; I'd think most docs take the weekends off so that they can go out and spend all of their money!  I had my procedure on a thursday, and was pretty much a shut-in until monday morning when I went in to have my drains removed.  Personally, I don't think I would have wanted to go back to work any time before that, so figure you'll need at least 4 days, in my opinion - assuming you have drains; maybe 1-2 days if you don't have drains.  but again, gotta talk to you doc.  If you need to get a day off, maybe tell work that you need to get a cyst removed from your chest and they can only operate on such and such a day, etc.