Hi guys, first off I'd like to thank anyone on here who's shared their experiences and knowledge about the horribly destructive mess that is gynecomastia (I think anyway). This is my first serious post as I'm looking to change things for myself after years of thinking about it.
A bit about myself (skip this if you like!): Like a lot of guys on here I first noticed my chest was extra 'flabby' around about year 6 in primary school (age ~12). Throughout secondary school I was overweight but fairly active, playing rugby and going to the gym. I've always been fairly shy and introverted, and having gynecomastia meant low self-esteem throughout school unfortunately; instead of developing strong character and confidence I became somewhat of a 'people pleaser', I think subconsciously limited by how I felt my chest looked, and how negatively I perceived myself.
School came and went, luckily I kept hold of some good friends, and I went to uni. Uni was an experience (really awesome things happened, it wasn't all bad!) and it was here that gyno started to become a bigger issue for me. You can't cry over spilt milk, but across the 3 years my chest caused me more misery than I care to admit; I think I let myself get obsessed about it, but it felt hard not to sometimes when it seems like you're trapped in a body with a chest that should belong to a young girl.
I'm 22 a week today and if I'm honest, I just want to get rid of this condition and the associated mental baggage forever. Has anyone thinking about getting surgery had conflicted thoughts about it? I know deep down I hate the way my chest looks, and it has and will continue to dissolve my experience of life (I've read of other people getting it done in their thirties and wishing they'd had surgery earlier). My conscience tells me to accept who I am, and that millions of people suffer to a far greater degree than me with this 'cosmetic' problem; but I can't help feeling I'd regret it if I didn't at least try to get it sorted.
Dr Levick is retiring this year and I've booked a consultation the day after my birthday, I've got mixed feelings about it as in some ways it feels like a desperate last resort, it's as if I can't quite believe I could have a normal-looking body, like it would be too good to be true. At the same time I can't help feeling guilty and shameful about it, my parents aren't supportive and I'm apprehensive about telling my friends how I feel.
If anyone has felt down or depressed about having gynecomastia, or hesitant about surgery, or just thought f##k it enough is enough (how I feel), I'd be really happy to hear from you. I have a horrible feeling that I could be blaming serious issues in my life (I haven't had a girlfriend yet, at 22) on this condition alone. I'm aware this isn't a miracle cure and that complications can happen with surgery, but is/was anyone here in a similar position?
Thanks a lot if anyone's read this far!
Cheers