To bra, or not to bra

[aboywithgirls]

I think that a cami is a must with any button down. I didn't used to until I was asked about it at a fitting  and the girl suggested that I try one. They are soft and comfortable and they hide the tell tale bra silhouette. 

[JohannK]

This might get expensive, considering that wearing bras will mean having to be extremely picky, and from what I'm told here also having to add some other stuff.

It seems that instead of hoping to afford one per month, I might as well hope to afford one every second month...

[JohannK]

I'll have to wait and see what I end up with.  I'm guessing it'll be 34B or C.  It just depends how much I lose up there.

[bikerbob]

JohannK: If you wear tight cycling clothes, I assume you are a road biker.  I mountain bike and even with my B size boobs, a bra is mandatory for comfort.  The first time I borrowed my wife's bra and went for a ride, it felt so good I was hitting bumps on purpose.  I need to lose about 20 lb so I don't wear tight clothes because it makes me look like an old fat guy, which I am.  I ride wearing baggy shorts and a loose T shirt with a pullover leisure bra, which is basically a light duty sport bra with no hardware.  I have caught a few women staring at my chest but I think it is the boobs they see and not the bra.

[JohannK]

Your assumption was correct.  Road all the way.

[paulpark21]

I wear a tank top under a shirt.  It pretty much hides any bra straps.  Go with a shirt that is one or two sizes larger that what you usually wear.

How important will it be with men's shirts?

[JohannK]

I am a 34B cup and the bra is quite apparent with the cups in some of my bras. All are unpadded and some are more concealed than others in regard to discretion. I do not wear overly sized t shirts, or patterns or pockets. My t shirts are standard size Large t shirts and fit me as they always have before my boobs became honest boobs. I find a tank top does allow slight compression over the bra to give the chest itself a bit more modesty and bras like mine with strap adjusters on the front completely disguise the straps themselves. I feel the back hooks don't really do any showcasing and it is always the adjuster clips that give the ah ha that is a bra look. And a guys shirt isn't as form fitting or as thin material as a womans shirt so the band isn't prone to be shown where it is typically when you see where a womans bra band is.

All in all, unless you are quite busty like C-D-E cup I think you will be just fine, being as you are and dressing as you always have. Unless I wear a total form fitting shirt, you are not noticing my b cups. If I do wear a form fitting shirt I wear a barelythere comfort bra that is shaped and fits like a tank top and gives me compression and comfort without squishing things uncomfortably and no one is the wiser. Even went to my chiropractor in them and they run there hands down my spine finding hot spots to pop and never did I ever think she ever felt the band of the bra on the comfort bras. I think it is absolutely true that no one is looking for a man in a bra. We are cause we have boobs and most wear bras and we either want to see other men in them for solace and security that we are not alone, or just in simple observation. But I don't think one needs to worry too much about wearing a typical t shirt outside of the color of it. My t shirt bras, and bralettes are not padded, not frilly or lacy, not push up or anything that directs attn to them or gives more accentuation. They are neutral colors, and fit snug as I think is a sign of more growth, but give great support and comfort and discretion.

If you look at men in general you will see from side angles (which is what I think is the most attention giving angle) that many's chest sticks out a bit. Not anything like ours usually, but nonetheless when you take in to account how our arms sit on the side and move back and forth and as much as we move ourselves and if we are sitting we aren't jutting our chests out, and a lot of our general postures are not chest out shoulders back, they are general male postures. When you take in to account ALL of our factors in regard to posture, position, who is really looking for our bras, etc you should find a lot of calming over the fact that there is just too much going on for people to really notice, and if they do notice they probably aren't thinking AH HA BRA BOY!!!!!! they are probably just thinking hmmm dude has some boobs...and then goes back to looking at their phone or forgets about it in general a minute later.

We live in a super attention deficit era. Where people of all ages are consumed by everything in front of them and that alone tells me unless I'm wearing a low cut push up bra or wearing a tank top with straps showing on the side, or walking around with my chest out shoulders back, then no one in their life is going to know I'm wearing a bra, unless they rub my back and feel the band, which is something I have total control over and my wife is the only one who rubs my back lol so I just make sure I don't wear a bra around her and I am good to go..

Let's see.  You said the back closing hooks don't really matter so much.  That's certainly good news.  I did some searching online, and only found two front-closing racerback bras at one shop, both in fancy colours and with not-so-smooth designs at the front.  Also, money is a very important factor.  Unlike some who can spend $100+ on a bra, I'm looking at maybe around R300 (it's roughly R15 for a US dollar) every few months.  If I'm careful, that is.  So having more to choose from will help bring cost down.  I've also wondered, since multiway bras can be worn strapless, does that mean the straps can be reversed to have the adjusters in a more suitable place?

[aboywithgirls]

I am a 34B cup and the bra is quite apparent with the cups in some of my bras. All are unpadded and some are more concealed than others in regard to discretion. I do not wear overly sized t shirts, or patterns or pockets. My t shirts are standard size Large t shirts and fit me as they always have before my boobs became honest boobs. I find a tank top does allow slight compression over the bra to give the chest itself a bit more modesty and bras like mine with strap adjusters on the front completely disguise the straps themselves. I feel the back hooks don't really do any showcasing and it is always the adjuster clips that give the ah ha that is a bra look. And a guys shirt isn't as form fitting or as thin material as a womans shirt so the band isn't prone to be shown where it is typically when you see where a womans bra band is.

All in all, unless you are quite busty like C-D-E cup I think you will be just fine, being as you are and dressing as you always have. Unless I wear a total form fitting shirt, you are not noticing my b cups. If I do wear a form fitting shirt I wear a barelythere comfort bra that is shaped and fits like a tank top and gives me compression and comfort without squishing things uncomfortably and no one is the wiser. Even went to my chiropractor in them and they run there hands down my spine finding hot spots to pop and never did I ever think she ever felt the band of the bra on the comfort bras. I think it is absolutely true that no one is looking for a man in a bra. We are cause we have boobs and most wear bras and we either want to see other men in them for solace and security that we are not alone, or just in simple observation. But I don't think one needs to worry too much about wearing a typical t shirt outside of the color of it. My t shirt bras, and bralettes are not padded, not frilly or lacy, not push up or anything that directs attn to them or gives more accentuation. They are neutral colors, and fit snug as I think is a sign of more growth, but give great support and comfort and discretion.

If you look at men in general you will see from side angles (which is what I think is the most attention giving angle) that many's chest sticks out a bit. Not anything like ours usually, but nonetheless when you take in to account how our arms sit on the side and move back and forth and as much as we move ourselves and if we are sitting we aren't jutting our chests out, and a lot of our general postures are not chest out shoulders back, they are general male postures. When you take in to account ALL of our factors in regard to posture, position, who is really looking for our bras, etc you should find a lot of calming over the fact that there is just too much going on for people to really notice, and if they do notice they probably aren't thinking AH HA BRA BOY!!!!!! they are probably just thinking hmmm dude has some boobs...and then goes back to looking at their phone or forgets about it in general a minute later.

We live in a super attention deficit era. Where people of all ages are consumed by everything in front of them and that alone tells me unless I'm wearing a low cut push up bra or wearing a tank top with straps showing on the side, or walking around with my chest out shoulders back, then no one in their life is going to know I'm wearing a bra, unless they rub my back and feel the band, which is something I have total control over and my wife is the only one who rubs my back lol so I just make sure I don't wear a bra around her and I am good to go..

Let's see.  You said the back closing hooks don't really matter so much.  That's certainly good news.  I did some searching online, and only found two front-closing racerback bras at one shop, both in fancy colours and with not-so-smooth designs at the front.  Also, money is a very important factor.  Unlike some who can spend $100+ on a bra, I'm looking at maybe around R300 (it's roughly R15 for a US dollar) every few months.  If I'm careful, that is.  So having more to choose from will help bring cost down.  I've also wondered, since multiway bras can be worn strapless, does that mean the straps can be reversed to have the adjusters in a more suitable place?

Great question about multiway bras. The answer is yes and no. I have a Freya Deco multiway/ strapless bra that has straps that can be easily reversed, removed, or crossed in a racerback style. I also have a few bras that can be connected via a "j" hook to convert to a racer back however they are not removable what so ever. 

[JohannK]

I was basically thinking of starting with a 2-pack for up to R300 (maybe up to R350, but I can't go higher).  And as I said, that's every second month at the most.

Also, it seems getting exercise will be harder than I expected.  I can ride my bicycle, but it takes its toll on my arms.  So I'm starting to wonder if I'll have to approach the weight loss much more gradually than I planned (I'm back to where I started).  So I might just end up getting fitted before I go down to a 34 band.


For those who might wonder (mainly targeted at those who don't understand the idea of acceptance), there are worse things in life than having a bit extra tissue on the chest.  Pain disorders are not fun.

[hammer]

I wear a tank top under a shirt.  It pretty much hides any bra straps.  Go with a shirt that is one or two sizes larger that what you usually wear.

How important will it be with men's shirts?

All I wear is men's clothes 

[JohannK]

I had a look at the calculator at ABraThatFits, and it gave some really weird numbers.

My measurements were:
Loose underbust 82
Snug underbust 78
Tight Underbust 75
Standing Bust 94
Leaning Bust 98
Lying Bust 95.

And according to this site I should start with 32DD(UK).  I mean, really?!  The tightest I could get the tape was 75cm, and 32 is below 72cm!  Going by sister size, I also doubt that I could qualify as 34D/36C.

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that I should at least try wearing.

[Johndoe1]

I had a look at the calculator at ABraThatFits, and it gave some really weird numbers.

My measurements were:
Loose underbust 82
Snug underbust 78
Tight Underbust 75
Standing Bust 94
Leaning Bust 98
Lying Bust 95.

And according to this site I should start with 32DD(UK).  I mean, really?!  The tightest I could get the tape was 75cm, and 32 is below 72cm!  Going by sister size, I also doubt that I could qualify as 34D/36C.

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that I should at least try wearing.

UK sizing is in inches, not cm. I think that is where you are getting confused. 32DD sounds like it might be close. European Standard equivalent would be 70E.

[JohannK]

I entered the measurements in cm, and selected the units a such.  Keep in mind, a 32 band is 68-72cm.  Way below even the tightest I could manage.  Going by the snug underbust, that would (barely) put me in a 36 band (78-82).  But I have a feeling that 34 might be better.  The cup going by only a single measurement would barely be a B(36) or D(34).

That said, I have wondered if I somehow messed up the leaning and lying measurements, since with those I didn't check the tape in a mirror.  I'll see if I can redo those at some point in the day.

[DW20]

My advice is to wear what is comfortable - unfortunately that is not usually compatible with being covert.
My own personal experience is that underwired bras with a reasonable amount of padding give the most comfort. Also lace designs seem to be better than most and are cooler in most circumstances .
I do not set out with the intention of appearing feminine, but within reason it is a price well worth paying for comfort.
We are all different, but personally wearing loose tops, and unflattering styles etc will do nothing to help your self esteem.
I have only ever been aware of being watched once and that was probably because I was wearing a skirt during a heatwave - Nothing to do with the bra!!:)

Glean ideas. This Forum is an awesome resource but ultimately the solutions have to be yours. 

[Johndoe1]

DW20 you are so right. Very few of us want to be anything other than what we are and for the majority we want to be physically comfortable and have confidence in our bodies and our appearance. And if that means wearing a bra for sizable breasts, and clothes that fit our shape no matter what it is, then why should society care? 

I can't deny that the estrogen that my body makes hasn't effected other parts of my body and maybe even how I react or feel, but I had no control over that. I am male and if my body is better suited for clothing that is normally considered "female", that's not my fault. No one asked me what I wanted. I have to live with what I have. I just want to live my life in peace no matter what I am wearing, masculine or feminine.