Feeling shame and embarrassment

[jackpineseeds]

Hi everyone,

My breasts have grown to the point that I need to wear a bra. What I usually do is wear a compression shirt to work, and as we know that is very uncomfortable. So, I have started wearing bras at home.

I feel a tremendous amount of shame and embarrassment about this. The only time I feel comfortable is when I wear bra. My wife says she understands, but I can't help but feel she is judging me!

The other problem I run into is buying one. I have spent sooooo much money on trying to find one that works. Does anyone have any recommendations for a bra that is discrete and comfortable?

[blad]

I have had my breasts since I was a teen. There was a lot of "teasing" in school but I did realize early on that wearing a bra did feel better.

I can say that if you stick with it wearing a bra will become more and more second nature. It works for our comfort and the only barrier is our own concern of what others think, (or what we think others think).

If at all possible, being fitted for a bra in store is the most direct way to find what you want in a bra. This is of course again a mental barrier, but if your wife were to come with you I am sure that would pave the way for a good experience. It sounds like you have a wife that wants to help.

There is nothing like finding some bras that work for you. 

[Busty]

jackpineseeds, 

First, welcome. It sounds like you’ve come to the right place.  

I agree with everything that has been said so far.  Those compression vests are too uncomfortable for me to wear.

blad is so right that we are most comfortable in a bra, and that with  time, wearing a bra becomes more normal to you than going braless. And it becomes an automatic part of dressing to put on your bra. 

I, also, agree with blad  the best way to get a well fitting bra is to go in, get fitted and try on quite a number of bras. Certain stores make it a point to accept and help people like us. Three that come to mind are Soma, Torrid, and Lane Bryant. I agree that if your wife went bra shopping with you, it might make you more comfortable. 

You say your wife understands, but you also worry about her acceptance and judgment. I believe it’s natural for us to have that type of insecurity. Is there anything your wife has done that has made you either more or less concerned?

Do you have a sense of your bra size? Has your wife helped you by measuring you for a bra, suggesting bras that she thinks might work for you, even giving you bras to try on?