28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno

[Miclam]

 Buddy, your ass would be smoked long ago if you played this game with me in person.  You need to watch your mouth in life, Sticks.

Oh boy, e-penis waving.  This thread is on the road to Comedy Town!

[ruinedlifenew]

Oh boy, e-penis waving.  This thread is on the road to Comedy Town!

Absolutely.  The boy needs a good smackdown.   (may as well have fun with it at this point; he'll ignore all the points made and repeat his original rhetoric over and over until everyone has given up).

MrF, you're one cold, cruel human being.  I honestly do fear for your future much more than I do my own.

It's not about being overweight.  It's not about being teased in school (you seemed to have faced a hell of a lot of it or it bothered you way, way, way too much the way you go on and on about it.. so much so that you had surgery for a non existant condition.  I don't care how rich your parents are, surgery is a huge deal.  Don't even try to say it was no big deal.  Something really, really fucked you up for you to be motivated to go under the knife.  You must have been really f'd up; truly a purely psychological issue that you project on others.  You wouldn't be raving and hating on me this much if you didn't hate yourself, buddy.  That's how the mind works.).

It's about having large, secondary female characteristics that emasculates you.  Friends, girls, strangers.. all of them, day in and day out focused on your breasts and taking away your very manhood that over time can lead to avoidance behavior and a degradation of social status.   This is not about childhood (like your case) scars, this is about being a human being who needs to be accepted by his peers as a plain, old, ordinary man.  I would gladly trade my breasts for a beer gut or scars all over my face.  Neither of those are associated with being a woman.  I'm 28 years old, I've faced the rejection as an adult just the same as when I was younger.  It's real, grow a real pair and find out yourself.   Some posters here did just that (developed breasts in adulthood) and they felt it and it beat them down and fucked over their entire life.  Read through the previous posts here for further details.

You hate yourself, bro.  You didn't have breasts.  You had (if anything) an insanely (I'd call it invisible) minor case of gynecomastia and you hate yourself for getting so upset about it which is why you hate on me.  You know you overreacted to your extremely minor case of gyno (with no true breast development) and you see me as being of the same mindset you were.  You're transparent, bro.

I have breasts.  You had... nothing.  You know what it is to truly have BDD and you hate yourself for it.

I have breasts.  Female sized breasts on a 165lb@5'11 frame with a flat stomach.  You know what it does to many men.  Re-read the thread again if you need a refresher.

[mrfantastic5]

oh god

ya it sucks doesn't it.

however all of you are ignoring my point and are just now starting to insult me.

there is no difference between a person hating his life who was teased for being overweight/fugly/scared/burnedwhatever

and a person being teased because he has gyno

sorry, just isn't a difference.  You are who you are.  Ruinedlife even with surgery will still be ruinedlife.  

he wont be a different person because some breast tissue will be removed.  HE already suffered mental trauma from the teasing, and has incredibly low self-esteem.

if anything.. after he gets surgery and will not have a perfectly flat chest that i'm sure he dreams off

he will be even more miserable.

the perfect candidates for gyno surgery are those who have realistic expectations, not low self-esteem who feel they cant live without this surgery.

those people, once again, need psychiatric help.

and darn ur feelings ruinedlife.

not everyone is good looking, thin, atheltic, and has a flat chest.

all i hear from u is that u hate life because u don't have a flat chest and some fucking morons teased you about it.

please, start hating the fucktards of the world who would tease somone about this sort of shit, instead of yourself.  That's my advice to you.  Does it really matter what some shitbags said about u god knows when?  Do you thinkt hey even remember you or the fact that you had boobs?  Does it matter?  you are in your 20's, u have what 20 years tops to enjoy life before you become old, and have much bigger problems than gyno to deal with?

get yourself a psychiatrist.  Realize our society is superficial, and if it wasn't for your gyne, you probably would have gotten picked on for something else..

and just get over it and enjoy life

[mrfantastic5]

and i dont have bdd.  I realize i didn't have gyne to the extent that surgery was needed.  However, it made me happier and more satisfied having the breast tissue that was under my nipples removed.

from the pics i know u cant really even judge.  I did it more because my nipples were pointint in different directions.  I did it because one of my pecs stuck out further when i wore t shirts, and i simple didn't like this.  I know now one fucking will notice that i had surgery.  I know that it is simple in my head and no one will find me more attractice, or give a rats ass if my chest is slightly flatter.

i did it 100% for myself.  Because i can.  Because it makes me happier.  

i throw around terms like BDD.  YA, i'm not qualified to make this assertion.  But hearing somone say they want to kill themself because they have gyno is just not normal.  Gyno is devestating.  I'm sure some of you felt this way 2.  I'm sure there's tons of pain, and you are getting mad at me bec ause i didn't have gyno and am pretneding i know what it feels like.

i don't know.  BUt i know that it is not normal to want to kill yourself.  Those who feel this way over gyno.. It's not your fault, but if you argue with me that this is a healthy/normal feeling   you are just lieing to yourselves.

[mrfantastic5]

i'm sorry ruinedlife

i wont hijack this thread anymore.

but i'm not goint to give in and say gyno is your problem.

you have bigger problems than breast tissue.  That's not to say that it didn't contribute to your misery, your pain, whatever you feel inside.

but surgery isn't going to fix it.

[manic91m9]

i have a few points to make

ruined life - i havent seen ur pics coz they are gone so i dunno how bad ur condition is but i know that regardless of the severity of the condition it is emasculating and can have some pretty serious effects on your life.  however i find that im mostly bothered by people my own age and i dont see how you having it should ever stop u from having some kind of a job.
i think u should get the surgery probably because others have stated that it is a clear case of gynecomastia and it clearly bothers you.

you speak about wanting to kill yourself which i doubt and hope you do not do.  
my question to you is
getting a job if your parents dont want to pay for it and working for maybe a year or two to get the money for surgery would be more of a fear for you than killing yourself?
i know it sucks im in the process of saving right now, but a few shitty years right now is nothing compared to the years of happyness that could lie ahead.

mr fantastic your pictures arent very good and dont show much.. i think u prob had somthing there coz u can see a change and if that was worth it to you then good on ya.

i think its unfair to consider this condition not to be considered the same for a minor amount of glandular tissue on a skinny person to be a lesser condition just because there is less fat.

meanwhile while your saving or waiting for surgery try to reflect on the other great things in life.
telling yourself mulitple times daily that your life is ruined cant help you in any way even if you feel it does have truth to it do you realy need to remind yourself so often

[Worrier]

Iam going to stick my oar in here. I agree with 'mr fantastic ' about one thing, he does not have BDD. If he did he would not be posting photos of himself on the net,

I have been diagnosed with BDD by a psychiatrist. ANd I could never post pictures of myself for joe Bloggs to see. Hell I won't even let my parents take a photo of me.

So yes I am 'crazy'. But also I did have a pretty bad case of 'gyno' before I lost weight. This was confirmed by several doctors.And yes it messed me up as imagine a person who thinks he is ugly from the start off being told actually there is something wrong with him....

I was lucky as it was due to meds for the BDD and when I came off them and lost the weight my gyno regressed. Iam still not happy but have been told I don't need surgery by several doctors including a PS now.

But you know what really annoys me , people telling ruined life that how you look isn't really that important. And that he has bigger problems than his breasts. I used to be 18 stones... I am now 13. I used to have a 40 waist it is now 32. There is a girl that cuts my hair and a year ago before I lost the weight she ignored me, never said a word. Now when I go  in there she gases and gases , she has also said how I look like a different guy now and look great. I am not bothered that she did not find me attractive it is that I was not worth talking to.
           There are other examples , people in this society treat you different if you are fat or have breasts or what not. I would say though that if I had a choice between having facial scars or having breasts I would take the breasts. There was a girl I used to know before I got sick who got slashed badly with a knife. You would not believe the abuse she took form utter oxygen thieve mongs and all the looks she got. And you know the old dears were the worst. One even asked her about would she be more comfortable with a bandage on?

So I know how ruined life feels about his life. And sorry but people like Mr Fantastic do not have a clue.

[Hypo-is-here]

oh god

ya it sucks doesn't it.

however all of you are ignoring my point and are just now starting to insult me.

No you have ignoring the answer that I gave.

I'll quote the answer I gave again as to why I believe you are wrong.


Quote
I'll take you up on your challenge.

Please bear with me as this will take some time.

Gynecomastia if significant (you had very little to none) is different to other cosmetic conditions in that;

If someone is asked who they are on a television program or in an interview etc they  
invariably go along a series of events.

They state their name, "hi I'm Chris", their job "I am an "accountant", then their family situation, “I am married to Karen and I have three kids John, Gemma and Sally”.

Sometimes people state their family details before that of their job details.  

However there is something more intimate, more personal as to who they/we are than all of that, it comes top of hierarchy when it comes to who we are.

And it is this;

Our gender.

Now 90% of the time it goes unsaid, people do not have to state there gender because it is obvious.  

One of the very few things that can for many men bring this into question is gynecomastia, because breasts are a VERY female attribute (I am talking breasts here MRfantastic- not miniscule tissue).

Having moderate to significant breasts can make a man question his very worth, can make him question how much of a man he really is.

It can have that severity in terms of its psychological impact.

You spoke about women having small breasts- but that in of itself is not remotely a male characteristic, it just isn't.

The nearest a woman can come to this condition would be to have a beard or moustache- significantly.

Try and find me a women with significant moustache or beard growth who is  not significantly psychologically affected, a woman who has had her gender brought into question by such a condition.

You see these women suffer in a similar way.
Unquote

So that is my view.

If you don't agree with my logic explain why, it is very unlikely to change my mind but it would at least be infesting to hear why you think I am wrong.

Separately, no matter what your feelings are please in future address the person you are speaking about directly where possible out of courtesy and if you don't think you can be supportive then remember that it is probably better not to say anything at all.

The bottom line is we are here to support one another.

You have been insulted, but I’m afraid your attitude and the way you have gone about things ensured that.  At one stage in particular you were becoming impossible to deal with (when I was saying that people should ignore your posts).

Your tone and manner improved considerably part of the way through the thread and I think some people did go overboard at that point and still refer to you based on the way you were acting prior.  So yes some people are a little guilty themselves of being a bit insensitive toward you.

I am sure you will not find this a problem in future threads if you treat people a little better.

For the record I hope you get help dealing with the issues that you have, as I really do think you do have certain things that you need to deal with irrespective of what you might say on the matter.

[abaz]

Hypo you need to chill out man, you come in here looking for sympathy and support, then you start freaking out.  :-/

[unisys]

You have been insulted, but I’m afraid your attitude and the way you have gone about things ensured that.  At one stage in particular you were becoming impossible to deal with (when I was saying that people should ignore your posts).

Your tone and manner improved considerably part of the way through the thread and I think some people did go overboard at that point and still refer to you based on the way you were acting prior.  So yes some people are a little guilty themselves of being a bit insensitive toward you.

mrfantastic may have changed his tone and manner, but the content of his posts hasn't changed at all since he started posting on his thread.  I judged him based on the content of his posts, so my opinion of him still hasn't changed.  The kid needs to see a psychologist.  He has BDD.

And Worrier, just because you were diagnosed with BDD and would never put up your pictures doesn't mean anyone else who has BDD won't put up their pics (very faulty logic).  

There are many xanga/livejournal groups filled with girls who constantly put up their anorexic/bulemic pictures online for all to see in their quest to loose more weight.  The anonymity of the internet allows people to do things they wouldn't want people in their daily lives to find out about.

[mrfantastic5]

yes, i have bdd.  

I can't throw around the term, i'm a moron, but you're qualified to call me a moron and go and say i have bdd with the same kind of dumb logic i'm using.

i have bdd

i'm a male thingy

this guy's problems are 100% due to gyno..

i'm sure hell have his life completely changed and hell be able to get a job, and function through life and have a complete breakthrough mentally after his surgery.

cheers mates.

[mrfantastic5]

and hypo ur just using circuler reasoning buddy.

stating the effects of gyno and the psychological outcome without argueing the same end result with a different process of other aesthetics problems.


guy gets teased about his boobs his life is ruined

girl gets teased about having no boobs her life is ruined

but adding the word gyno completely changes things right..

ya, sex roles and everything aha

oh wait, girl's r suppose to have boobs? right? wait i'm lost

ok u know more because u can cut and paste from some online document so u r the win

[mrfantastic5]

and the fact that some of u are argueing how ur life has changed from gyno surgery just reaffirms my point.. lol


ur life is changed cuz u can wear tight t shirts and not be afraid to take off your shirT?

wait... nature/god/whatever made u have boobs in the first place?? so taking them off really doesn't change the fact that they were there?? no?? so you all are flawed, i am 2.  So you are all not real males because you had gyno.. u still do it's just now they are surgically removed.. ur moobs?>

how are you now more manly?? u had cosmetic surgery, if nothing u are more of a lady? lol

bottom line.  people get gyno surgery for superficial reasons.  not to feel more like men.  Wearing tight t=shirts and feeling comfortable without a shirt on is fun.  For some it can temporarily give u thrills and just make life that much better.

just know it's not some mind altering out of body expierience.

as superficial as it comes.

buddies, ur all full 0 shit

[Hypo-is-here]

Hypo you need to chill out man, you come in here looking for sympathy and support, then you start freaking out.  :-/

I have no idea what you are talking about and can only assume you have the name wrong.

I did not come here for support ruinedlife did and I have been trying to offer that support and have gave a detailed explanation as to why I see gynecomastia as a cosmetic issue with an additional facet to it.

So I really do not know what on earth you are referring to.

and hypo ur just using circuler reasoning buddy.

Er no I am not.

Circular logic is like in the book Catch- 22

e.g.

Pilots in the war were insane if they wanted to fly dangerous missions in which they could be killed.  

All they had to do to be grounded and released from the Air Force was report to the squadron doctor that they were insane and wished to be grounded.

However in doing so such pilots showed a sane fear for their own lives in not wanting to fly dangerous missions and therefore by making such a request became regarded as able offices who had to fly more mission.

That is circular logic- that is what Catch-22 is.

I have not offered any circular logic whatsoever; I have explained why I believe gynecomastia needs to be considered a little differently from other cosmetic issues, because of the "gender factor", the same applies to women with significant facial hair- but you know that as I detailed that also.

You asserted your opinion on the cosmetic nature of gynecomastia over and over and over in this thread asking people to deal with your point.  So once I did exactly that, it would have been reasonable one would have thought if you had actually listened to my opposing view and dealt with the point raised in an adult manner.  Instead you attempted to fob me off and conveniently avoided the issue raised by using a misplaced and inappropriate term (circular logic- of which there was none).

I don’t really want to hear an honest answer off you now as I think I have had enough to be honest.

P.S

I was trying to patch things up a bit in the thread hence the comments regarding both sides maybe being a little more sensitive, but people just aren’t having it are they?

Oh well.

I hope ruinedlife gets better support next time, if indeed he decides to stick with the site. (to the guys who did support him and you know who you are this does not apply).  

The rest of the conversations are kind of by-the-by, the one and only thing that was truly important in this thread was ruinedlife getting support and some people need to reflect on their actions and ask themselves whether they have helped or hindered here.

[kev]

>>>>I hope ruinedlife gets better support next time, if indeed he decides to stick with the site.

In frequenting this board in five years (both as gynecomastia.org and when it was on the old site) I have never seen anybody receive the response that ruinedlife got.  

You come here for support at an extraordinarily sensitive and vulnerable time and you get c$7p thrown at you.  

I have lurked for years but this prompted me to step in.

I am disgusted and angry.  

I hope a certain person here realises what he has done.

kev