Author Topic: Getting past your teen years, how have we managed?  (Read 1380 times)

Offline Justagirl💃

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Talking honestly about our experiences is an antidote to the shame and confusion we have carried.  Fortunately, this side of the website has become much friendlier to folks intent on exploring the gender bending implications of having estrogen operating in our bodies.  This isn't a fetish or an aberration, but rather an honest expression of who we are.  We not only don't want to cut off our breasts, we don't want to cut off the essence of who we are... each of us unique in how we relate to it all.  That is very healthy.
I'm really not gender bending now, I was gender bending while in boy-mode.

I have never in my entire life really felt like a guy!

I feel much more truthful to myself and everyone around me now than I have in the last 45 years. I should have told my parents to 'shove it' 45 years ago!

I was too afraid to rock the boat I guess. I have been in the hospital for a double concussions before. I 'know" my stepmother would have killed me. 
When life gives you curves,
flaunt them! 💃
💋Birdie💋

Offline Justagirl💃

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The teen years are tough on just about anyone to varying degrees. The introduction of hormones into our systems creates some strange behavior in individuals that are dealing with something new to them. Interactions change a well. 
When bodies decide cross gender hormone balances instead, things really go south quickly. 
In obviously boys or girls, the opposite manifestations of sexual characteristics are picked up on by peers rapidly, and society has decided to not talk about it so it's not considered normal. Those individuals are quickly marginalised. Talking about it in class is really the only way to normalise it. 
In the case of intersex, I used to think that surgery would have been best for me as an infant. It would have solved my problems, but it might create problems for someone else. Perhaps intersex babies shouldn't have sex assigned at all until puberty. A big 'X' on gender, and let's see what the body or the child decides later. That would have worked for me and saved me plenty of drama. 

Online Johndoe1

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My teen years weren't easy but even in my early 20's at school, I would have girls want to date me just to see if my bust was real and after they found out, would dump me and usually do it in fairly cruel ways. I was late to marriage because I had my guard up all the time. In my late 20's I was called out by a supervisor in a department meeting that I needed to "go put on a bra." Every eye in that room zeroed in on my chest, man and woman. In a response that surprised me, I replied back that anytime the supervisor wanted to see how much of a man I was, we would take it out back. That seemed to shut it down for the moment, and within 6 months, he was let go. I left a year later to a better job.
Womanhood is not defined by breasts, and breasts are not indicative of womanhood. - Melissa Fabello

Offline Justagirl💃

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My teen years weren't easy but even in my early 20's at school, I would have girls want to date me just to see if my bust was real and after they found out, would dump me and usually do it in fairly cruel ways. I was late to marriage because I had my guard up all the time. In my late 20's I was called out by a supervisor in a department meeting that I needed to "go put on a bra." Every eye in that room zeroed in on my chest, man and woman. In a response that surprised me, I replied back that anytime the supervisor wanted to see how much of a man I was, we would take it out back. That seemed to shut it down for the moment, and within 6 months, he was let go. I left a year later to a better job.
That must have been horrendous, but you managed it with dignity.
Unfortunately, ignorance tends to be very vocal and lends to uncomfortable situations. They should have removed that supervisor that very day!

Uncomfortable situations I'm starting to believe will never go completely away.
Just yesterday they had a mandatory meeting in the residential building here. It was being held by the regional manager. She asked if there were any questions.
I raised my hand and she said, "yes ma'am?" ( I had never met her prior).
The room full of neighbors broke out in laughter and someone shouted, "he's a dude".
Both her and I were quite embarrassed, and she quickly changed the subject and moved on with the meeting.
I started living here while still in boy-mode. Many residents remember that. New arrivals, visitors, or the like will always address me as ma'am but my neighbors are quickly to correct them.
I could resolve that by moving to a new location, but I'm not keen on hiding anymore. I am who I am, and I need to be accepted for that or not.

Online Johndoe1

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My teen years weren't easy but even in my early 20's at school, I would have girls want to date me just to see if my bust was real and after they found out, would dump me and usually do it in fairly cruel ways. I was late to marriage because I had my guard up all the time. In my late 20's I was called out by a supervisor in a department meeting that I needed to "go put on a bra." Every eye in that room zeroed in on my chest, man and woman. In a response that surprised me, I replied back that anytime the supervisor wanted to see how much of a man I was, we would take it out back. That seemed to shut it down for the moment, and within 6 months, he was let go. I left a year later to a better job.
That must have been horrendous, but you managed it with dignity.
Unfortunately, ignorance tends to be very vocal and lends to uncomfortable situations. They should have removed that supervisor that very day!
This was a different time when most companies didn't have an HR department like they do today. This guy was just a d*ck and liked the power of being a supervisor. It finally caught up with him when he tried a power play on the manager, and the manger won. After that incident, I did start to dress differently hiding my chest more than I ever had. Did it help? I don't know, but I sure sweated a lot more! Interestingly enough, that meeting was never mentioned, at least in my presence, and one of the ladies that was there, treated me nicer than she had before. Everyone else pretty much left me alone. I guess I was now the resident freak.

Online Jack A

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Many of us have been blessed with breasts and some with curves since puberty.

Many forms of trauma all of us might have experienced!

How did you manage?
How did you overcome it (if you did)?

Not just the teen years, but going into adulthood.
I started developing breasts when i was 11/12, just like other girls at school. They were some of the larger ones in my class and i was solidly teased from age 12-onwards that i needed to wear a bra

Well, with the help of a friend, I tried a bra on at 13–and it fitted. from 14-on, I wore a bra every day to school. before i was teased for “needing a bra”; now i was teased for wearing one!!

 i also started to dress and present more like a girl from age 16.

i still admittedly remain male, but have blurred the lines a lot since puberty—i have the body of a woman. i’m currently on uni exchange in the UK and passing just fine as a woman—my roommate only found out i am a biological male a couple weeks ago! 

Offline Justagirl💃

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Many of us have been blessed with breasts and some with curves since puberty.

Many forms of trauma all of us might have experienced!

How did you manage?
How did you overcome it (if you did)?

Not just the teen years, but going into adulthood.
I started developing breasts when i was 11/12, just like other girls at school. They were some of the larger ones in my class and i was solidly teased from age 12-onwards that i needed to wear a bra

Well, with the help of a friend, I tried a bra on at 13–and it fitted. from 14-on, I wore a bra every day to school. before i was teased for “needing a bra”; now i was teased for wearing one!!

 i also started to dress and present more like a girl from age 16.

i still admittedly remain male, but have blurred the lines a lot since puberty—i have the body of a woman. i’m currently on uni exchange in the UK and passing just fine as a woman—my roommate only found out i am a biological male a couple weeks ago!
Yes, I find I'm received as cis-woman about 99% of the time as well hun. 

I have yet to change my name officially, and I was waiting for the Handicapped bus to pick me up. 
The driver arrived and I proceeded to the lift. She came out and said, "what's your name ma'am? I'm supposed to pick up a male passenger here?"

I unfortunately had to tell her it was me. 😐

Offline 42CSurprise!

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I started developing breasts when i was 11/12, just like other girls at school. They were some of the larger ones in my class and i was solidly teased from age 12-onwards that i needed to wear a bra
Well, with the help of a friend, I tried a bra on at 13–and it fitted. from 14-on, I wore a bra every day to school. before i was teased for “needing a bra”; now i was teased for wearing one!!

 i also started to dress and present more like a girl from age 16.

i still admittedly remain male, but have blurred the lines a lot since puberty—i have the body of a woman. i’m currently on uni exchange in the UK and passing just fine as a woman—my roommate only found out i am a biological male a couple weeks ago!
You live in a very different world which is a bit more accepting of gender fluidity... something I would have welcomed but it was not happening.  I expect that were I a teenager now I would present as an androgynous woman.  I definitely would do so if I had the breasts now filling the cups of my brassiere.  I love the idea of presenting as a woman even if I were to remain a man.  I'm happy for you Jack... you get to live your truth.  Perhaps we should call  you Jacqueline... :o

Online Johndoe1

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I started developing breasts when i was 11/12, just like other girls at school. They were some of the larger ones in my class and i was solidly teased from age 12-onwards that i needed to wear a bra

Well, with the help of a friend, I tried a bra on at 13–and it fitted. from 14-on, I wore a bra every day to school. before i was teased for “needing a bra”; now i was teased for wearing one!!

 i also started to dress and present more like a girl from age 16.

i still admittedly remain male, but have blurred the lines a lot since puberty—i have the body of a woman. i’m currently on uni exchange in the UK and passing just fine as a woman—my roommate only found out i am a biological male a couple weeks ago!
Europeans don't seem as hung up about gender fluidity as Americans. There are some large urban/metropolitan areas that gender fluidity is not an issue but the vast majority of the US it is.  Hence most of us have to be careful how we present our chests and to whom much less gender fluidity. I do find that cis females have a far more easy time presenting "masculine" than cis males showing any kind of "femininity." I guess we can thank "Annie Hall" for that.

Offline Traveler

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I don’t know how I did! Back in the day, I didn’t know anyone who had to deal with being male and having breasts at the same time. It was very shaming and kinda lonely growing up. It made me introspective, always outside looking in. Still don’t get why people act the way they do sometimes and some societal interactions are still beyond me. Guess growing up a walking contradiction (being male but not a guys guy) put me on a different path than “normal” people. Proud of myself but know I’m still a work in progress.


 

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