28 years old with no life, all thanks to gyno

[mrfantastic5]

http://www.gynecomastia.org/cgi-bin/gyne_yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=11;action=display;num=1135703813


i had a pretty good case of my own.

it has always been embarasing taking my shirt off, and always having to keep a flexed chest at the swimming pool and an arched back to hide it..

i got teased about having boobs since i was 12 years old.  I never cried about it.  I never gave a rats ass what people thought about me.  I didn't like the fact that i had a chest like mine.  I knew something was wrong with me.  I Figured out i have gyno at 15, and when i was 20 (now) i decided to get surgery.

again, it never ruined my life, it never bothered me.  Just like some people who are incredibly ugly, who are morbidly obeese, and who have deformaties don't have ruined lives because of their condition.

people who have gyno, and are so pathetically miserable because of it have BIGGER ISSUES THAN BREAST TISSUE.

sorry, this guy is big time bdd.  I don't fucking care if he has the biggest case of gyno there is.  IT's still just fucking breast tissue on ur chest.  Psychological.. YA, it's devestating, but wanting to commit suicide and basically hating life is psychosis... Brought on by more than the teasing/gyno.



i go to university, and i have taken english, and fully understand my logical fallacies, and all the bullshit assertions i'm making.

but understand this friends.  There is nothing wrong with generlizating on this type of thing.  This guy's problems are not going away when he gets gyno surgery.  

If the mental scars are brought on by the gyno/teasing.. or he has a chemical imbalance wh ich makes him predisposed to bdd...

it really doesn't matter.  Point is he needs counceling, not a fucking gyno surgery.

[mrfantastic5]

also this is an offtopic thing..

but i fully believe anyone who has a case of gyno and opts to get surgery will never get over the gyno.

i doubt anyone is 100% fully satisifed, and completely has this shit out of their head.  Doubtful every single person doesn't occasionally check their chest and basically have paranoia a\bout gyno returning/still being there.

again, getting gyno surgery doesn't cure you.  IT makes u better, i will admit.  I feel a lot better about my chest.  I dont think it's perfect.  I dont think it will ever be perfect in my eyes.  However, i knew there was nothing wrong with me before.  There is nothing wrong with me now.

and what this guy needs to be healthy is accept himself.  ANd know that gyno is a part of him, and surgery will improve the condition, however never make him look like somone who has never had gyno, and has a perfectly flat chest.

the end, i'm done argueing with you peons

[Gynohider]

Mrfantastic, you could not be more incorrect. My condition is virtually identical to the original posters, except one might consider it to be a bit worse since I was never overweight and therefore had no excuse for having any breast tissue.

Anyway, I can assure you that if the gyno were to dissappear tommorow, my life would change overnight. To that extent it is interesting to see how some think that this condition is "just superficial".  It isn't. Gyno is worse that something like a scar on the face or some sort of birthmark in that it does not simply make someone "ugly" but it is emasculating to the person who has it, since breasts are not neutral mounds of tissue but serve as child-feeding devices and also represent secondary sexual characteristics.

So basically, breasts serve the function of making a man feel like a woman in a certain sense, which can be crippling in a variety of ways. By the way, I'm interested in your case as your pics do not look like you had gyno in the first place. I would actually not mind looking like your "before" pic. Maybe it's because of the front view, but I'd like to hear about it.

[unisys]

Wow, after looking at your before/after pics thread I can see why you are saying the things you do mrfantastic5.

By looking at your pics it looks like you spent 5-6k on a practically non-existant condition.  You are extremely lean and skinny.  Your gyne seems so minor, and with normal sized nipples/areola, I think 90% of the people on this board would be happy if their AFTER pictures looked as good as your BEFORE pictures.  

It seems to me like you are the one with BDD, because you spent thousands and underwent surgery on something so minor compared to almost anything else I've seen on this site.  You say you found out you had gyne when you were 15; that can only mean you are someone who is EXTREMELY concerned with their appearences.

The only reason you seem to be throwing around the term BDD is because you've probably heard it a few times from your GP regarding your case and then you came home and searched for it online.  Perhaps you suffered from anorexia or bulemia in an attempt to rid yourself of this condition...

Your insecurities regarding gyne are quite transparent in all of your responses.  From your posts I assumed you would be a person that suffered from gyne for many years and had a medium or major case, but we can see its quite the opposite.

I honestly think you have major psychological issues in your life mrfantastic5 and wouldn't be surprised if you are operating on one or more psychiatric drugs.  Please go see a psychiatrist because it is painfully obvious that someone like you needs counseling whereas the OP is feeling no different than what any of us have felt at one time or another.

Sorry to be so brutally honest but you've brought it upon yourself mrfantastic5.  There is no need to project your issues onto others.

[ruinedlifenew]

Hey again everyone (had to register a new account when I tried to change my email address, oops)

First off, LOL.

MrFantastic, you're a real piece of work.  You had surgery for that?  I'd give anything to look like your before photo!!!  Your projection is hilarious, absolutely hilarious.  Your own insecurities became screamingly obvious as time went on.  Whatever dude, bite me.

To everyone else that understands what I'm going through, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Your replies in my defense and your advice has made me feel that I have real hope now.  I'm not alone in this, I'm not a freak and I'm only one surgery (hopefully just one, hehe) away from opening the door to my life.  That video that dude put together was incredibly inspiring.  I can do this.

I thought I could rid this on my own.  I lost 70 lbs (down to size 32 jeans!!) and it didn't get rid of them.  They won't go away.

All I want is to walk out my door with a tshirt or wife beater (!) or a dress shirt or no shirt and feel... nothing.  I want to be looked at as just another guy.  Is that so much to ask?

I don't want the stares anymore, I don't want the giggles, I don't want the insults, I don't want the "wtf" looks.  I just want my peers to look at me and say "hey look, it's a plain old ordinary dude".  

I want to have the same chance with girls as any other guy.  I don't deserve to have a smaller pool to choose from.  I shouldn't have to meet a girl and the first thing she notices is my fucking breasts because I'm not wearing my 2 shirt/vest system and I don't have my shoulders reared all the way back.  I want to be able to make a NORMAL IMPRESSION with girls, just like any other guy.  You ever had a cute girl check out your breasts as soon as she meets you?  It's humiliating, to say the least.

I should be able to get my shirt wet without the shirt clinging around my breasts!   Holy sh*t.

Like it or not, a lot of girls are turned off by breasts on a guy.  In the same way, a lot of guys are turned off by obvious male features on women.  That's life.  I shouldn't have to choose among a smaller pool.  

That's the difference here folks; breasts are a female characteristic.  It's nothing like a big scar or a gut.  They're f*king breasts.  You can't get much more female than that.

I just want to live a normal, happy life with my friends and a nice girlfriend and not to have my life literally revolve around my breasts.

The day I don't have breasts anymore will be the best day of my life.  The door to my life would be unlocked and I'd finally be free.  I would never come home!!!!  I have a LOT of living to do.  I get a huge rush just thinking about it.  It feels like I'm at the starting line and I'm just waiting for the starting gun to go off.  

[kev]

ruinedlife, when I looked down those bandages and saw those breasts were replaced by a lot of scarring and puffy tissue and asymmetry I felt great.  I remember standing up and walking up and down the corridor of the hospital showing off.  Nobody taking any notice - quite different from how I came in.  I never looked back.  

I remember that April 1994 like it was re-birth.  In a very profound way it was.  I quit drinking afterwards because I found that I didn't need to in order to, for example.  I bought some new clothes, went back to college.

That's not to say all was perfect (they were so big there was very heavy scarring that created some problems, they grew back a bit as well and I needed revision).  And I still have hang-ups of course, and the psychological effects are not affected by surgery. nor is your body-image.

But I can go through life pretty OK.

Good luck!  Let us know how you are getting on.

your friend

kev

[kev]

I agree about the quote - it just about says it all.

[Drastic99]

also this is an offtopic thing..

but i fully believe anyone who has a case of gyno and opts to get surgery will never get over the gyno.

i doubt anyone is 100% fully satisifed, and completely has this shit out of their head.  Doubtful every single person doesn't occasionally check their chest and basically have paranoia a\bout gyno returning/still being there.

again, getting gyno surgery doesn't cure you.  IT makes u better, i will admit.  I feel a lot better about my chest.  I dont think it's perfect.  I dont think it will ever be perfect in my eyes.  However, i knew there was nothing wrong with me before.  There is nothing wrong with me now.

and what this guy needs to be healthy is accept himself.  ANd know that gyno is a part of him, and surgery will improve the condition, however never make him look like somone who has never had gyno, and has a perfectly flat chest.

the end, i'm done argueing with you peons

Your case doesn't compare to other people's case. I mean you didn't really have gyne or much of a physique to begin with, unless you are going from the ethopian look that is.

You just want to be right and don't care about what this guy went through. And you are NOT the personlity type to admit they are wrong. You already proved this.

Interesting, that you call people here peons. Another forum personality type who talks big behind a keyboard but wouldn't say a word in person cuz he would get knocked out.

Go back into hiding. Thanks.

[mrfantastic5]

Your case doesn't compare to other people's case. I mean you didn't really have gyne or much of a physique to begin with, unless you are going from the ethopian look that is.

You just want to be right and don't care about what this guy went through. And you are NOT the personlity type to admit they are wrong. You already proved this.

Interesting, that you call people here peons. Another forum personality type who talks big behind a keyboard but wouldn't say a word in person cuz he would get knocked out.

Go back into hiding. Thanks.

wow do i have a physiqe in this one??

lol it's just a picture, ya when u eat like shit and retaining tons of water, and dont have pumps witha  digi camera in bright lighting ur going to look skinny if ur over 6 feet tall.

but besides this point, i had glandular disperesed tissue.  600 cc's total were taken from my chest.  Ya, i'm low bodyfat, that's why it doesnt look bad.  

if anything it made me look more awkward, having a round flabby pointy chest and being lean.  People who have gyne and are overweight have it easier.. trust me.

[Hypo-is-here]

Wow, after looking at your before/after pics thread I can see why you are saying the things you do mrfantastic5.

By looking at your pics it looks like you spent 5-6k on a practically non-existant condition.  You are extremely lean and skinny.  Your gyne seems so minor, and with normal sized nipples/areola, I think 90% of the people on this board would be happy if their AFTER pictures looked as good as your BEFORE pictures.  

It seems to me like you are the one with BDD, because you spent thousands and underwent surgery on something so minor compared to almost anything else I've seen on this site.  You say you found out you had gyne when you were 15; that can only mean you are someone who is EXTREMELY concerned with their appearences.

The only reason you seem to be throwing around the term BDD is because you've probably heard it a few times from your GP regarding your case and then you came home and searched for it online.  Perhaps you suffered from anorexia or bulemia in an attempt to rid yourself of this condition...

Your insecurities regarding gyne are quite transparent in all of your responses.  From your posts I assumed you would be a person that suffered from gyne for many years and had a medium or major case, but we can see its quite the opposite.

I honestly think you have major psychological issues in your life mrfantastic5 and wouldn't be surprised if you are operating on one or more psychiatric drugs.  Please go see a psychiatrist because it is painfully obvious that someone like you needs counseling whereas the OP is feeling no different than what any of us have felt at one time or another.

Sorry to be so brutally honest but you've brought it upon yourself mrfantastic5.  There is no need to project your issues onto others.

I couldn't agree more.

100% right.

I couldn't even work out if there was a before photo there or not or whether they were both after photos

He without question has BDD and not gynecomastia, I am amazed that a surgeon was willing to operate at all.

I mean how can you compare the emotional effects of terrible bullying and not being able to hide significant gynecomastia with that?

This guy needs help with BDD, which strangely enough makes me not really want to have a go at him because that is a tough issue all by itself.

[mrfantastic5]

oh and please.  every single one of u doesn't like their gyno becuase they want to wear tight t shirts, and look better without a shirt off..

pure and simple.  

What is normal?? i'm sorry gyno isn't some kind of disease.

a lot of people get gyno, and it is a benign condition.  That makes it normal.. In fact what like 90% of people get it during pueberty>?

normal?

me included.  All i want to say is gyno is a displeasing aesthetic condition once again.

the only devestating thing about it is the fact that you look like crap because you have breasts.

same shit goes with people who have incredibly big noses.  Or have insanely bad acne.  Or whatever cosmetic condition that makes them look bad..

yes i know that gender roles are placed here.. a man should not have breasts.  But again.. WHO the darn said that.. Every man has some amount of breast tissue.. we even have NIPPLES... Why does a man need nipples>?  please tell me, we dont breast feed??

that's simple.. a male having breasts is normal.

gynocomastia is normal.. Everyone has it techincally?? no?

point here is, some people have enlarged breasts.  They dont like this, they get teased, whatever.. ya it's the same deal as being fat.

some people kill themselves becuase their fat and get teased about it so much and hate themselves and balbalbal

but again, these people are just fucking sick.  They are sick AGAIN from a chemical imbalance which makes them predisposed to feeling depression about aesthetics, or from all the teasing or whatever trauama they suffered.


i don't know why i'm bothering.  I dont know how else to explain to you that taking GYno to the extent this dude has is the same exact thing as a girl with an insanely large nose who thinks aobut killing herself and feels her life is ruined .

[Hypo-is-here]

but besides this point, i had glandular disperesed tissue.  600 cc's total were taken from my chest.  Ya, i'm low bodyfat, that's why it doesnt look bad.  

if anything it made me look more awkward, having a round flabby pointy chest and being lean.  People who have gyne and are overweight have it easier.. trust me.

You had virtually no gynecomastia at all- the most minor of minor cases.

You need help because the gap between reality and your perception of yourself is a gulf!!!!

You need to see a therapist.

Your situation simply doesn't relate to people with moderate/significant gynecomastia- it is a different condition- BDD or something along that line.

P.S

Stop trying to tell people how they feel with moderate/significant gynecomastia.

You have never had that so you haven't got a clue how that would feel, or be affected!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[unisys]

some people kill themselves becuase their fat and get teased about it so much and hate themselves and balbalbal

but again, these people are just fucking sick.  They are sick AGAIN from a chemical imbalance which makes them predisposed to feeling depression about aesthetics, or from all the teasing or whatever trauama they suffered.


i don't know why i'm bothering.  I dont know how else to explain to you that taking GYno to the extent this dude has is the same exact thing as a girl with an insanely large nose who thinks aobut killing herself and feels her life is ruined .

I think we are all wondering why you are still bothering to post in this thread.  There is no need for you to repeat everything you've heard from your parents & GP to us because it's obvious that you forced yourself into surgery when you had ALMOST NOTHING wrong with you.  You are the one with BDD and a chemical imbalance, and you've probably had an eating disorder in an attempt to rid yourself of it.  Go seek help.

[kev]

mr fantastic or whatever username you are using today I am beginning to understand why you feel the need to convince people that they shouldn't have a problem with their gyne - it's because you never had it and I think you are in the wrong place.

If you are here I think you feel you need support but many of the people here have different problems to you - which is why you are frustrated, unable to understand.

You are also aggressive in the way you think you are in some kind of debate.

Take a look around at some of the other forums as they might be able to offer what you need.

Or join a debating society.

But keep your fingers off your keyboard unless you are supporting, helping, encouraging people struggling with a horrible problem.

kev

[ruinedlifenew]

Hey Kev!

Yeah, I'm aware of the psychological changes this condition had brought about in me.

But you know, a few years ago, I choose to get in shape and that really changed the way I interacted with people.  As long as I'm in my two shirt/vest system and they're not a girl who wants to touch my chest (don't have to worry about guys doing that, lol), I have no fears; I feel at peace.  As long as I'm wearing those things, I can flatten my breasts enough and rear my shoulders back (can't slouch or there they are, ready to feed a baby) so it's not noticable... and that's the biggest shame.  I'm so close to being a happy and complete person.

I recognize the way many people react to breasts on a man as just the way we human beings are.   I don't hate them for it because.. I do it myself!  I find myself joining my friends in joking about obese people sometimes.  It's *terrible*, especially since I was one of them, but I find myself doing it.  I don't hold anything against anyone for being turned off by breasts on a guy.

Folks, I considered lying and telling you all I had a job and downplaying the severity of my situation because I know there are people out there that freak out and look down on those who are unemployed, but I chose to lay it all out instead.  If you would like me to go into further detail about my thick tshirt + special thick outershirts inventions that I use to cover up my breasts and why I can't wear those under a uniform or dress shirt, I can do that.  I just assumed I wouldn't have to prove things to anyone here.  I came to this board for suggestions and support, not to be shat on.  Got a problem with me for not having a job?  Bite me.  I want to go to work without fear of comments/stares/etc about my breasts every single day, understand?  I really hope so.  Live the life I've lived, then talk.

I've been hiding this story my whole life, I didn't want to hide anything anymore.  I wanted people to know how much breasts on a man can affect ones life.  I wanted to finally talk to SOMEONE about my situation, no lies or hidden facts.  This is how much it has crippled me, like it or not.  Yes, my breasts have destroyed me.  I won't apologize for the way I've lived my life.  I could have ended up a lot worse.  I could be smoking, drinking or addicted to drugs, but I'm not.  I just haven't been able to start really living... yet.

One final thought... When this is all said and done, I really feel I'll have ended up as a much stronger, wiser and compassionate person than I would have been without this condition.  I understand how precious the little things in life are.  I understand what it is to be without them.  I understand what it means to live.  I've been living my whole life trapped inside a bubble, looking out at other people doing the simple things I can only dream of participating in.

I was so lucky to have a beautiful, sweet girlfriend for almost 4 years (she became a party girl and cheated on me 3 months ago).  In fact, if I hadn't been home so much, I would have never met her (met online).  I would have never experienced what it is to be with someone but not be able to fully be with them.  I refer to not being able to bring yourself to take your shirt off when you make love to your partner.  She was very sweet and understood, but it still hurt me a lot.  I could never have her rub her hands over my chest (I would always have to guide her hand).  I wanted so badly to shower with her, to swim in the ocean with her, to just lay around vegging without my shirt on, but I couldn't.. I was so afraid it would gross her out.  It hurt, so much.  I feel so guilty about never giving her the chance.

I know what it is to live without.  I know how precious the little things in life are; that's one thing I can thank my breasts for.

To the person that asked if I could afford sugery: I believe so.  My parents have a pretty large savings and if the surgery only costs them $2k or so (I'm in Ontario and apparantly, OHIP should cover some of it), it shouldn't be a big deal.  The hardest part will be starting this process and then telling them what's been wrong my whole life.  I'm not really scared of the surgery itself.  

Tho all of you who've given me your support: thank you, so much.

And MrFantastic.. LOL!  Take your case of BDD to another thread and stop hijacking mine, thanks!